The Five Most Hilarious Anti-Mormon Conspiracy Theories

Latter-day Saints are no strangers to odd stories made up about us. But while these tall tales are odd, sad, and completely untrue, they are definitely hilarious. Hope you enjoy.

1. Mormons are Actually Illuminati

If you’re going to go for conspiracy theories, I guess you’ve got to start at the top. And no good conspiracy theory is complete without the Illuminati. Ex-Mormon BehindCurtain wrote in 2013 that Mormons were obviously Illuminati because the Illuminati supposedly has a hold of the CIA, and Mormons are in the CIA.

If that’s not enough for you the Illuminati have the reputation of advertising destructive events before they occur, just like Mormons have prophets. Coincidence?

The Vigilant Christian in 2014 posted a YouTube rant that Mormons including Joseph Smith joined the Free Masons. And Free Masons and Illuminati are the same thing. (They’re not.)

Still not convinced, well the church once borrowed money from a bank owned by a man whose daughter was married to someone who almost definitely was an Illuminati.

2. Mormons Protect Shape Shifting Reptilians

Some conspiracy theorists believe that the world is run by shape-shifting aliens. Biblioteca Pleyades is sure that Mormons are involved. You might reasonably ask how that is, but only because you’re not thinking critically.

There are two obvious pieces of evidence. One why would Latter-day Saints do so much genealogy if it wasn’t to keep records of which humans have reptilian bloodlines?

Two, why is temple access restricted? Obviously, so that they can protect large underground reptilian bases.

Not enough, well B. Watson had an unconscious dream/memory of when he was a child in Salt Lake and met a woman who had skin on her leg that looked scaly, like dry skin but even scalier. So, he concludes she was probably a genetic hybrid experiment.

3. Three-Time Survivor Really Terrorist Mastermind

Many heard the inspirational story of Mason Wells, the missionary injured in the Brussels terrorist attacks, who had also been in Boston and Paris during terrorist attacks.

While many considered this a series of very unlucky coincidences, Geoffrey Grinder from “Now the End Begins” sees through the charade.

Grinder thinks the obvious explanation of Wells’ location is that he belongs to a multi-national conspiracy to stage large terrorist attacks, and blame it on outsiders in order to get them to give away their freedom for safety.

Wells meanwhile says he’s grateful the Lord has protected him.

4. The Church is Building a Nuclear Weapon

One questioning 25-year-old Mormon man says that his dad was told by a friend that he was wandering in the woods outside of Jackson County, Missouri. He ran across a building protected by barbed wire, and a security guard saw the man and told him to leave. Since the Church owns so much land in Jackson County, this was obviously a Mormon building.

What could be happening in this secret building? Probably building a nuclear device. Remember how Mormons are in the CIA, well they’re also in the FBI, and why would they be in there if not to secure Uranium?

Not enough? Well, Joseph Smith started a group called the Council of Fifty to help run the political side of Nauvoo. The public (meaning the true) story is that the group disbanded in in the 1880s, since there was no need for a theocratic organization. But what if they were still around? They’d obviously want to have a nuclear weapon, right?

5. Mormons Have Horns

My favorite Mormon conspiracy is an old one: Mormons have horns. This conspiracy theory starts with horns as a metaphor. Horns often represented deception, aggression, and virility. All attributes attributed to early Mormons.

But while horns were a metaphor, when they started being used in editorial cartoons in the 1880s, some in the public began to take it seriously.

Ultimately, Mormons themselves found the claim so ridiculous, that we continued to tell stories about the gullible people who believed we had horns. While there are still some who believe this theory, today it’s mostly a story we tell ourselves about how misinformed anti-Mormons truly are.

What are the most hilarious Mormon conspiracy theories you’ve heard about the Church? Let us know in the comments.

 

Christopher D. Cunningham, the LDS.net content director, loves emphatically celebrating his son Albus' normal healthy development, writing about the Church of Jesus Christ, finding the middle ground on most controversies, and using Western Family generic brand lip balm. Christopher is a proud graduate of Brigham Young University-Idaho, and a resident of Lockhart, Texas. He is a longtime supporter of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
  • selfdo59

    I remember some anti-LDS hauranger, a former member who declared himself a once “Temple” Mormon (as if that means something), solemnly declaring the story of a young woman, brought from Tennessee to Utah by a Mormon Missionary, who saw what “really” went on in the Salt Lake Temple, and realizing that it was of the ‘devil’, jumped out a window and dove into the Great Salt Lake and swam away! Considering the distance from Temple Square to the nearest short of the Salt Lake (about 17 miles, depending on the lake’s level), and that it’s high salinity makes diving extremely dangerous (high surface tension of the salt water), the purported escaping young’s lady tale is remarkable indeed!

  • Mark Jasinski

    Sometimes, however, disinformation can have serious consequences. Rumors about missionaries seducing and abducting young women to force them into polygamy were partly responsible for the murders of two missionaries and two Mormon boys by a mob in Cane Creek, Tenessee, in 1884.

    I heard an interview on a Seattle-based Christiob radio show with anti-Mormon Dave Hunt. It was during Ronald Reagan’s first Presidential campaign. He exposed the secret Mormon plan to get Reagan to pick a Mormon VP to secure the conservative vote. Then after he was elected, “something would happen” to Reagan, the Mormon would become POTUS and abdicate to the Prophet in SLC. All the Mormons in the military, FBI, and CIA would support the coup, the Prophet would appoint Temple Mormons to all government positions of authority, and that’s how the Mormons would take over America.

  • Clay Pendleton

    When I was on my mission in Georgia back in 1974 I came across a lady that actually believed that we had a secret underground system where we captured young women and held them in our temples. She told me that one women actually broke free and escaped from the Salt Lake Temple and jumped free to her safety, into the Great Salt Lake! I looked at her with unbelief and said, well that must have been one heck of a jump, because the Great Salt Lake is over 20 miles from the temple grounds.

  • Roxie

    Several years ago one of my sisters whom I had not seen in over 20 years came to visit. I am next to the youngest of 11, and one of five sisters, and the only LDS convert. I had been a member about 15 years at that time. She asked, in polite conversation, “Isn’t your husband a good Mormon? Doesn’t he go to your temple and marry all his dead female relatives?” After looking at her like she had a second head, I asked her where she heard that rubbish, and she told me it was true because she heard it from someone who knows, because he was an ex-Mormon. I just asked her didn’t she think that would cause a lot of confusion in Heaven later on. In the same unbelievable conversation I found out from her that Mormons sacrifice their firstborn in the temple. My oldest was about 8 at the time, I do not think he would have agreed to it. My sister is very intelligent, but WOW this really made me wonder about how blind and plain dumb satan can make a good person.

    • Christopher D. Cunningham

      Let me recommend to you Doctrines of the Gospel Student Manual Chapter 10. It should help you clarify your understanding of LDS doctrine on this issue. Though I’m sure there are many other sources you could properly consider.

  • SisterF

    Funny things I have heard:
    1. In the temple we worship a giant chocolate statue of Joseph Smith. As part of the secret ceremony we form a circle and lick the statue together… Which miraculously has not been eaten.
    2. When attending a U of U college party on a Saturday night, I told a guy (recently moved from out of state) I’d have to leave at midnight because of church (I had church at 9). He told me he heard that when the clock struck midnight the Brethren pressed a button on Temple Square that turned us into mindless drones a la “Time Machine” and we were stuck in the nearest meetinghouse for 24 hours. I told him this was 100% true, and invited him to go to General Conference with me in the conference center to see mass brainwashing in action. He actually came and was very disappointed.
    3. The girls jumping out of the temple into he great salt lake. And a different iteration in which a girl jumped from the temple in the late 80s to escape the bishop/sealer/temple president performing the “ordinance of consummation” the night before her wedding. This brave act of suicide apparently caused the church to remove this ordinance along with the other changes in 1990.
    4. You can’t buy coffee in Salt Lake City because the Mormons made it illegal.
    5. When waiting for my missionary, I met a few people who believed it was an arranged marriage.
    6. And the one people really believe: Mormons don’t believe in Jesus.

  • I’m a return missionary and I serve my home land Philippines under Philippine Manila Mission…I SERVE AND SACRIFICE MY TWO YEAR BECAUSE I KNOW THIS IS THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST, I SERVE BECAUSE I LOVE MY FELLOW MEN I WANT THEM HAPPY LIKE ME WHEN I KNOW OUR HEAVENLY FATHER HAVE A PLAN FOR US, A PLAN TO BRING THEM BACK TO THE PRESENCE OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER, THAT WHY I SERVE FOR HELPING THE GREAT PLAN OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER…TO BRING TO PASS THE ETERNAL LIFE OF MAN. AND AS MEMBER OF THE CHURCH WE DON’T BELIEVE THIS TELL-TALES STORIES WE FORGOT THIS ARTICLES OF FAITH:

    1. We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

    2. We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.

    3. We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

    4. We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

    5. We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

    6. We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

    7. We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

    8. We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

    9. We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

    10. We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

    11. We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

    12. We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

    13. We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul-We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.
    I KNOW THIS IS ONLY TRUE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST HERE ON EARTH, I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I PRAY FOR IT, I ASK MY FATHER IN HEAVEN ABOUT THIS…I DON’T KNOW WHO IS YOUR GOD BUT I ASK MY GOD, THE GOD ACCORDING TO THE TEACHINGS IN THE BIBLE, I KNOW THE BOOK OF MORMON IS ANOTHER TESTAMENT OF JESUS CHRIST TO HELP US THAT THE BIBLE IS TRUE… I KNOW PROPHET JOSEPH SMITH IS THE PROPHET OF GOD, I KNOW THOMAS S. MONSON IS OUR LIVING PROPHET TODAY. I LEAVE THIS MY TESTIMONY IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, AMEN.

  • Clifton Palmer McLendon

    What about the “fact” that the Salt Lake Temple is the mausoleum of Joseph Smith?

  • Carol

    While living in Indiana, a particular religion had weekly Anti-Mormon program on the radio! In one, they warned people to not let the missionaries in their homes because they would kidnap their daughters, take them to SLC and lock them in the temple; the girls would try to get away by jumping out of the top windows, only to land in the Great Salt Lake and DROWN!!! People believed it! We would laugh and say “Sign those girls up for the Olympics long jump! They jumped 40 miles!! But how could these girls drown since the Great Salt Lake holds you up, making it impossible to drown?

    • SisterF

      I’ve heard this one as well. It’s my absolute favorite!

  • Lucon Foster

    My MTC Presidents wife shared a hilarious story with us. She was one of the last living baptisms to be performed in a temple. Once she had made the decision to be baptised the opposition came, along with the myths… She was told that people baptised in the temple were were baptised naked. Anyway she ignored all the comments and proceeded to be baptised, in fact she was so excited about the event she went out and bought a lovely white frilly dress for the occasion. So the day of her baptism came and she was in the changing room of the temple all excited, having changed into her new dress when the rather abrupt German temple worker came in. Taking one look at her the temple worker told her she could not wear the dress and promptly told her to take it off. Extending her hand the temple worker took the dress and immediately left the room.
    The MTC Presidents wife stood there wondering if the comments about naked baptisms were true……… A short while later the temple worker returned with a temple ‘approved’ dress in hand and the baptism was performed without further ado and FULLY clothed.

  • Debi C

    My son and one of his friends thought it would be hysterical their junior year of HS to tell their friends that they couldn’t eat anything that was in a square because Mormons believed it was the shape of the devil. Everything had to be cut into triangles because that was the “pure” shape (being the trinity). It wasn’t too funny when it went around the school and I was asked why I was eating a sandwich in the devil shape by one of the teachers (I was a sub) I had NO idea what she was talking about. My son thought it was hysterical!

  • Susan Carroll

    As a great granddaughter of many Utah pioneers, these are hilarious. However, there are tunnels. They run from the LDS Church office buildings and parking lots to the Salt Lake Temple. They are for efficiency, and safety during bad weather and bad traffic. Remember, most of our General Authorities are elderly.

  • Mike McConeghey

    2 real examples of strange beliefs about Mormons: “Oh, they are the ones who believe Jesus was born in South America”; and an RLDSexplaining the difference between the RLDS and the LDS to a non-member of both- “We believe in Jesus Christ” [inplying the LDS don’t].

  • chinasa Ani

    Comment: The more people post negative comments about us the mormons, the more i am moved to feel pity and pray that they come to the knowledge of the truth, as opposition exists in all things. For here in nigeria someone once told me that if i leave the church, things will become better for me, that the reason am met with misfortune is because i belong to a cult…i only laugh and felt sorry for him. But i grow stronger in my testimony because of negative comments, as i know with all my heart that the church of jesus christ of latter day saints is the only true church on earth..i have no doubt about the restored gospel.

    • Clifton Palmer McLendon

      Thank you for your heartfelt testimony!

  • Larry Lawton

    We were serving as senior missionaries in New Jersey in 2006. A member make an appointment for us with a friend. We introduced ourselves as members “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, commonly known as Mormons.” She rose from her chair, looked out her front window at our car, then said, “Shouldn’t you be driving a buggy?’

  • A.m.

    I know someone who told me that we worship Joseph smiths underwear in the temple hahaha

  • Serena Virgilio

    I live in Italy and I have heard at the radio that we mormons have the biggest database of names in big computers, but at the same time the speaker said that we don’t use electricity!!!! And how will these computers work?!?!?! LOL!!!

  • Wendy Rich

    The two I have heard are: Joseph Smith stated that he received revelation for a lizard in the deserts of Utah (problem; JS never made it to Utah. He was murdered before the Saints got to Salt Lake.). The more offensive one; Mormons have orgys in the temple. Hmmm… My response; been all over a few temples, I must have missed that room. 😉

    • Sal S.

      I was going to mention the orgy theory myself. An LDS friend of mine heard it from another friend who was not a member. She was not saying things in an “accusatory” sense, but had read it in a pamphlet and really wanted to know the truth. My LDS friend said, “Do you really believe I, or my parents or any member of the Church that you know would be involved in something like that?” The non-member, said she could not in all honesty say she could ever believed that about the members of the Church that she knows, that it did not make sense.

    • Nancy Huston

      Wendy from Germantown Md? Senica Woods? Kitchenhouse way?

  • D. Booth

    EDB: As a child I heard rumors that the church kept tanks and other military machinery in the Temple. Also, when it was announced that the Temple in L.A, Ca. was going to be built, there was a lot of comotion among non-members that we would be digging up dead bodies and baptizing them in the Temple. At a dinner with non-members I was drinking a Pepsi. One of the guests said he wasn’t surprised because the Mormon Church owned Pepsi Cola!!!! I asked him if he was serious and he was astounded when I told him it wasn’t true!

  • Abundio Pionelo Diaz Jr

    I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter day Saints. I was baptized last Feb 25, 2012.
    some hilarious which i heard in our Church are the ff:
    1. The Church (building) has secret tunnel. i really wonder until now i couldn’t find the tunnel.🙄
    2. The Church (building) has secret dungeon…hahahaha i answered them yes it has a dungeon full of water reservoir that is located at the back of the building.😀
    3. The Church (building) has an stainless antenna which they said it an antenna can directly transmit informations to the office of the CIA. 😜
    4 The last one is the most hilarious that our missionaries are gold hunter/ treasure hunter.when the church (buildind) is being constructed they said the contractor will dig deeper so that the treasures can be taken and transport directly to the USA🇺🇸.hahahaha 😄

  • Pauline Riley

    I joined the church as a young 19 year old in England. My dad told me that the elders only wanted me to join their church so they could take me through the secret tunnel they had , that ran from Liverpool to Salt Lake.? and that I would be a plural wife to some old man. He said he knew this to be true, as one of his mates had a daughter that this happened to, but she managed to escape by jumping out of one of the top windows into the great salt lake!

    • Ken Weir

      LOL!! Pauline, we had the same story circulating in Glasgow, but the tunnel ran from there 🙂 I guess we had lots of tunnels LOL!! It’s sad how much some people are willing to believe nonsense. We couldn’t even build a tunnel under the channel in 1964, but somehow our church built one 6,000 miles long under the Atlantic and all the way to Salt Lake City. I knew several people who believed it….

      • Kevin Peay

        I heard the same thing while serving in Perth Australia about thirty years ago. The man that told us this was an older Englishman, and he was dead serious.

      • Mike

        I heard the same story on my mission in central Brazil almost 20 years ago. Evidently, certain manholes all over the US led into the secret Mormon tunnel.

  • SmileBay

    I once read, or saw on the internet that someone’s priests or whatnot told them that Mormons pee in barrels and roll them down hills on Hollidays….

  • Jason Stewart

    So during my mission to Portugal, one of my areas was on Sao Miguel Island, and my companion was from Cape Verde. While walking home one night we ran into this couple from Canada, who said they knew all about the Mormons. They “knew” that in order to be a member of the church we had to serve a mission for a few years and in order to progress in the church we had to serve another mission for another few years. While I was explaining this wasn’t the case, they turned to my companion and asked him if what I was explaining was true. This whole time my companion was in the dark since our conversation was in English, and he only spoke Cape Verde Creole and Portuguese.
    When this couple found that out they were like “well how do you two talk to each other?” And I was like “I speak Portuguese”, which apparently shocked the wife. Her husband then explained that since I’ve spent so much time being a missionary in Brazil I probably picked up the language that way. I explained that I had never been to Brazil and that lead to questions as to how long we had to serve to be allowed to get married.
    In the end, they didn’t believe a word I said and the conversation went nowhere. What annoys me is that even when we’re trying to explain and separate myth from truth people ignore us.

  • Emi

    I apologize if anyone takes offense to this one. My friend heard this myth while talking to a guy in Colorado. When this guy found out my friend was mormon, he asked her if she made her own sheets. She was confused, so he said that mormons, once they were married, couldn’t look at each other during martial relations, so they had to have a sheet with a hole in it. Without batting an eye, she said, “Oh, those sheets. We buy those at Wal-mart.”

    • Chrystal

      Hahaha, that is fantastic.

    • Mattie

      I actually had a friend ask me something like that. She said that she had heard that we were only allowed to have sex once a month.

      • happy feet

        hah! that’s hilarious

  • Brae Bennion

    Some things I’ve heard:
    1. We don’t dance.
    2. We don’t eat ice cream
    3. We have sex through the curtains at the temple.
    4. Joseph Smith was taught by two angels named Urim and Thummim.
    5. We give blood sacrifices at the temple.
    6. If we don’t keep the covenants made at the temple, we have our throats slit.

    So strange.

    • Sal S.

      Oh no don’t eat ice cream! My husband would have to be excommunicated, LOL! I really am not much of an ice cream eater, but my husband has chocolate ice cream EVERY night. We are serving a mission in Vanuatu (South Pacific tropical island) He says it is the best chocolate ice cream ever! When home he makes chocolate malts with vanilla ice cream, milk, chocolate sauce and malt. It is very hard to get a good milk shake here. Oh and besides the ice cream every night he often buys a cone as we leave the grocery store here. They have a flavor called triple ripple that is bright red green and white striped, it is good so when I do get a cone I will get that one. Thanks for sharing your list, I will tell my husband he must stop eating ice cream immediately! hahaha Just kidding.

    • Jason

      Re: number 6, they were misunderstanding the ‘penalty oath’ that existed as part of the endowment previous to 1990 and did consist of the motion of slitting ones throat. Not actually slitting throats of course.

  • Lisa

    I heard that after you are sealed in the Temple the Bishop consummates the marriage with the bride before the husband and wife can be together. Who comes up with this stuff?

    • Derek

      I have heard that and I’m lds

    • James

      That was a medival practice in Europe. It was featured in the movie “Brave Heart” starring Mel Gibson. In that practice it was the ruler of the city or locality that had that right.

    • Scott Hawke

      I heard that on my ship from a midshipman (from Utah) during the early 80s. I had to explain to him the chaplain wasn’t going to like his story and I had just been married in the temple and nothing like that happened..

  • Danny Crossley

    We moved to Spokane Washington from Idaho Falls Id. Both me and my wife was rase LDS. I was talking to my neighbor one day and he had found out we were Mormons . He asked about tithing . So I explained it to him . Then he asked me So that’s part of your retirement and you get it back when your sixty-five . REALLY! I’m still waiting for that check.

  • Sawyer Gebs

    I heard on my mission that Joseph Smith and all his family were wizards who used black magic to find treasure and bewitch people.

    • Louise

      That’s partly true. Joseph Smith and his family did claim they had the power to find buried treasure. There’s court records of people suing them for tricking them out of money.

      • Carl Minks

        Not really what happened at all. There was no case it was a hearing, the accusation was that Joseph had undue influence on an elderly man named Josiah Stowel, by his family who opposed Stowel’s support of Joseph’s religious claims. There were 7 witnesses who most of which claimed that Joseph had the “gift of sight” Stowel believed that there was a silver mine somewhere on his property and hired Joseph to help him find it. After a few weeks of looking Joseph convinced Stowel to give up on the silver mine idea. Stole never claimed Joseph ever did anything dishonest and remained loyal. The whole mater was dismissed, there was no case.

    • Joseph Lazarus Matthews

      I know of a Southern Baptist Preacher who accused LDS Church of being the Church of Satan in a sermon. Flat disgusting abomination to say such in my personal opinion.

  • Mike

    I’ve been told that us Mormons aren’t allowed to bathe anywhere but the Baptismal Fonts and that we can’t use toilets because they’re “teknologeeeee”, so I guess we’re not allowed to use technology.

    Funny, considering a Mormon played a big part in developing Television.

    • Clifton Palmer McLendon

      Not only television (Philo Farnsworth), but also stereo (Harvey Fletcher)

  • Jaina A

    I had someone tell me we that Mormons were stupid because we didn’t believe in climate change and that we thought clouds were a myth. I had a fun time discrediting that one!:D

  • Rob B

    While serving an LDS mission in Portland OR, I had the opportunity to teach a young lady who was investigating the church. She brought up some very interesting concerns. One, Mormons cannot have sexual relations…..ever. This in fact would contradict the second concern, which is that Mormons sacrifice their first born child. It wasn’t very hard to clear that one up.

  • Joe

    The funniest ones I ever heard were either that we play naked basketball in the temple, or that girls aged 18-21 were kept in the temple basement until an elder came home and selected his bride.

  • Nik

    I served my mission in Illinois and Indiana (Chicago land area) and my comp and I stopped by a a mans house who used to be taught by missionaries in the area before us. There wasn’t any reason why they had stopped teaching him so we thought we would give him a visit. As it turn out he was an older gentleman who was sincerely concerned about us “Young boys” who couldn’t possibly know better, and were being fooled by the church that we were christians. He continued to tell us that the church believes that Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were on some far away planet collecting souls for polygamy. We both told him that we were life long members and had never heard of this “Doctrine” that the church believes in. His response was that you have to be at a certain level in the church before it is revealed to you, and we were too young to have achieved that level of hierarchy in the church. My companion then asked him how he knew all of this and he responded that he read it on the internet from a VERY reliable source which we wouldn’t tell us was. LOL Oh the things people think that we believe.

  • Brian

    My school mate / dorm mate. at trade school believed / heard that the missionaries were secret agents or spies from American government And that the members were sleeping cells and chapels were baracks and temples were laboratories and weapons and nuke storages. And members just wating for the Command of Obama or whoever the future American president. The main idea is world domination back by the American government and mormons are the main weapon to execute the long term plan of America . LOL he was kinda bragging that he knows better while telling the other lads he doesn’t know that I’m a mormon while listening to his silly stories about Mormons that was way back 2010 while Im still in the Philippines. It was so funny.

  • Frances

    I was eating lunch at my job and the subject got on Mormons due to Mitt Romney running for president Of course there was the usual if a Mormon wins then Mormons will force their religion on others but the one that got me was the statement that “all” Mormons name their children in some form after blood thus there are many Bishop Bloods lol

  • Steve

    My sister-in-law actually believed that we ran around naked when we went to the temple.
    A man in Texas told my wife that in Utah you had to be a card carrying Mormon to buy beer

  • Krista

    While my husband was on his mission (in Arizona/ New Mexico) many non members believed that the primay song “Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree” was a song we taught kids in order to brainwash them. Lol…I’m not sure what we are brainwashing them to do, but, there you go.

  • Sarah haws

    When I was serving my mission in Oklahoma City several people asked if it was a requirement for Mormons to own a trampoline

    • Alicia Jake

      Yes, yes it is. At least it should be lol

      • Theo

        After that reply, someone will tell someone else that he read it on the internet. Both will nod sagely. Then say something about the horns.

        • Sal S.

          Sad commentary is that the horns will rip up the trampoline! Maybe I ought to go into the Trampoline selling business ASAP!

  • Kira

    In an after-school high school club in Ohio, it was brought up that myself, my sister, and a friend were all “Mormon.” After the general surprise of having 3 members of this “odd” religion in the room, we answered a few questions, clarifying some misconceptions and letting some good-natured humor in as well.

    At one point, my friend said (repeating something he’d heard from a non-member in Arizona), “and once a month on the full moon, we launch a virgin off the Salt Lake Temple into the Great Salt Lake as a sacrifice!” One girl didn’t get the joke and asked, “REALLY!?” My sister piped up and said, “yeah, I’m next!” At which point everyone else in the class busted up laughing and we assured her that it was a joke. I think they all realized “Mormons” were just normal people at that point.

  • Jennifer Spear

    Even her in South Africa there are some interesting ideas.
    Someone I knew is a hairdresser. She is blonde. When she told one of her clients that she had recently joined the Church, the woman told her that that was impossible because Mormons have to have dark hair.
    On another occasion a cousin of mine was purchasing material for a quilting activity at Relief Society. The shop assistant asked her why she was buying so much and when my cousin told her, she responded that she had head that Young Women in the church have to make 10 quilts before they are allowed to get married.

    • Lissa

      Wow! I would have never been able to get married

  • StarfleetDad

    I have only been a member for a little over five years and I have heard some whoppers!
    It is amazing what is out there and what I listened to before talking with the missionaries that bravely came to my door… at just the right time.

    Shortly after becoming a member my new Mormon wife and I were invited to a screening of a 1922 silent film, “Trapped by the Mormons” (I think you can get it on Amazon for $10).
    It was a very anti-Mormon propaganda film and apparently caused a stir when it was first released. The ward friends as well as my wife were all in hysterical laughing fits while watching the film that was so over the top in it’s negative message as to be ludicrous.
    I saw something else…
    The Mormon villain has some kind of “mystic evil eye” power and when looking into the eyes of women they follow him to Salt Lake to all become wives for him.
    I’m pretty sure that is how my wife got me.
    I was baptized. I attend a few meetings. She came up, probably wearing a black cape like the guy in the movie,… ZAP!
    Suddenly I’m married with no recall.
    Every time since then she gives me the evil eye and I have a sudden urge to take out the trash and do the dishes.
    This power is real! Why else would they make a movie about it?
    I’m not complaining. She is awesome.

    My question is this… When was this power given to the Priesthood? When was this power extended to the Relief Society? Is it listed in the “Secret D&C” in the Salt Lake vaults?

    • Chrystal

      HA!

    • I recognize the humor of StarfleetDad. It’s all true. I’m the one who showed him…the movie. Beware!

  • Todd

    I was at a team lunch for work one day when the subject of my being Mormon came up, and how many kids I had. When one co-worker found out that I had 6 kids (at the time), he asked me why I stopped at 6 because he had heard that if you have 8 kids in the Mormon church you become exempt from paying tithing!

    Well, now I do have 8 kids, and sadly no one has approached me about qualifying for any discounts. I’m still paying the full 10%!

  • Adam Nickle

    I’ve heard time and again that the LDS church became apostate years ago just after Joseph Smith’s death and that it will be restored again according to a series of prophecies in the Book of Mormon, Bible, and Doctrine and Covenants (All of which are used by the LDS church, missionaries, etc. to establish the prophetic pattern predicting the restoration of the gospel through Joseph Smith). This idea was preached vehemently by a street priest in Oslo, Norway, who I came across on the first day of my mission.

    In one, I heard that Mormons sacrificed chickens and goats in the basements of our temples while chanting ancient spells. So THAT’s where the chicken in temple cafeterias comes from…

    Norwegian children have often imagined that missionaries are really FBI agents trying to infiltrate their country. This made it exceptionally entertaining to mutter funny nonsense about national security under our breaths as we passed little groups of kids on the street and secretly watch as their faces light up like something crazy was going on.

    It gets really funny when you cross the border between conspiracy theories and urban legends.

    • Brenden Taylor

      I was in Norway as well (88-90), and often ran into the idea that we were spies working for some US agency or another, and not just from the youth. Plenty of adults believed it, too, including public officials. Since Norway was on the front line of the Cold War at the time, it was easy to see how some might believe it, after all Russian ‘fishing’ boats packed to the rafters with all sorts of antennae and other high tech gear were not an unusual thing to see. Most of us laughed at it and just set the record straight when asked, but it really hit the fan when some Elders thought it would be funny to play with it. They would stuff a pair of socks in their inner suit pocket to make it look like they had a firearm, donned dark glasses, and would run an unconnected earpiece wire down into their suit, then go walking about dressed like that to see what comments or looks came their way. Then they decided to buy some letter-stickers to spell out “United States of America CIA” on the back of their tags. They were careful to display that side only while in their apartment, but as invariably happens, whether through absent mindedness or companion prank, one of them ended up going out with the wrong side showing, and it wasn’t long before the Mission Pres was contacted by the government to do some serious explaining. Naturally we all got a serious dressing down at the next mission and every subsequent zone conference. A sense of humor is an important thing, but when out representing the Lord and His church, there are simply some forms of humor that, no matter how innocuous, are inappropriate. Anything that intentionally conveys or reinforces negative notions or rumors about the church and gospel are among them. It may be funny to us, but you never know what seeds it will sow down the line for others as they encounter the church, was the message.

      • Sal S.

        That is funny! And I must admit typical 19 year old behavior, I would laugh if my son did that at home LOL. But I know what you mean about how we represent the Lord and need to be careful. My husband and I are serving a mission. And we are told at the MTC that while we are serving, to not get into political conversations – ever. Some of the reasons are safety because Americans politics can be hot topics in some places, but also because we are representing the Church. We were told that one time in the last election a Senior couple was asked what they thought of Mitt Romney. Not wanting to talk politics the Sister made an off the cuff remark, “I think he’s good looking.” And didn’t think anymore about it until the next day when the local paper of the country they were serving in, ran a headline, “Mormon Church supports Mitt Romney for President because he is good looking!” totally laughable to us. But the mission had to explain that was not the case!

    • Darrell

      “La CIA, La CIA!” In Ecuador they sometimes said we were with the C.I.A. (which they pronounce as a word, see-ah). One of our funniest missionaries tried to correct a guy, but he insisted that we were there to steal their secrets (of how to eat rice?). Eventually, the Elder said, “Fine, you caught me. He pulled off his shoe and spoke into it. ‘Hello, boss? This guy discovered me. What should I do? Kill him? OK. I’ll do it. What? You want to talk to him first? Sure.” While the horrified guy held the shoe up to his ear and repeated “Hello? Hello?” the Elder whipped out his camera and took a picture. They did not get a second discussion with that man.

      • Whittyboy

        Lol…. My Dad served in Ecuador and he did a similar thing. He would sometimes speak into the tip of his tie and say “llamando Ronald Reagan, llamando Ronald Reagan!”(calling Ronald Reagan) and everyone would scatter yelling “GENTE DE LA CIA! GENTE DE LA CIA!” Again, pronounced see-ah. Super funny.

  • Terry

    On my mission people thought that us missionaries to find dragon eggs. I never found mine…

    • Christopher D. Cunningham

      Well that’s one I’ve never heard. Where did you serve?

      • Terry

        I served in Mississippi. I remember being really surprised that people actually believed that. We made a joke of it though.

        • Lisa

          My son served in the Mississippi Jackson mission…I’ll have to ask him if he heard that one lol

  • John silva

    I just grind down my horns so you can’t see them. Also you can’t forget about our tails.

    • Sal S.

      I think we do a good job of hiding our tails, at least I haven’t had anyone mention them to me. 🙂

      • Oh yes, tails. When my husband was a young boy in Salt Lake City, (in the ’50s), some tourists asked him if he was a Mormon. When my husband said yes, they said “Oh, you can’t be. You have no horns or tail.” To which he replied “Well, I’m still young so they haven’t fully grown in yet. But do you want to see my tail?” He started undoing his pants and the tourists said “Oh no, that’s ok” then walked off. My husband and his young friends couldn’t stop laughing. In fact, to this day, it’s still funny.

  • I thought the story of the kidnapped women ended with at least one of them JUMPING from the temple window into the Great Salt Lake in order to escape a forced polygamist marriage. More plausibile that way, I think. After all, jumping several miles only to land in knee deep water seems more likely than getting kidnapped, hauled several thousand miles, only to be tossed out of a window.

    • Patricia

      I actually read the book this story came from. It “happened” in the late 1800s, as I remember. The woman left Utah, went back to London, and was quite a sensation telling this story in England at the time. Today, with Google Earth and even much better paper maps, it would be hard to get away with telling that story.

      • James

        That came from Arthur Conan Doyle’s first Sherlock Holmes novel, “A Study in Scarlet.” Later when Mr. Doyle actually met some Mormons he apologized for the novel.

  • Jay

    What a dumb article. Straw men are easily destroyed or laughed at

    • Christopher D. Cunningham

      Man, sorry you didn’t like the article. Hopefully, you’ll enjoy some of the other offerings on the site. I did want to point out that none of these are straw men since I go to lengths to point out the source of each of these theories. So there may not be a lot of people who believe them, but I’m not making these up. Cheers.

    • Don

      Perhaps you missed the point of the article. He didn’t claim that these were the five strongest arguments. It is clearly entitled “The Five Most Hilarious Anti-Mormon Conspiracy Theories”. As such, they are not meant to be serious challenges.

      • Hillori Crandall

        Still, uninformed Mormons go on to tell their “anti Mormon” friends that they have heard all the conspiracy theories and then shut off all conversation. As long as you are all aware that these are in no way part of why people leave.

        • Christopher D. Cunningham

          You seem to be very upset that this article is not engaging in serious academic debate about the merits of the church. If you go to our menu faith>defending the faith I think you’ll find the kinds of articles you’re looking for.

  • Victor Bostrom

    It was common knowledge in Sweden in the early 1900’s that Mormon Missionaries were kidnapping their women, taking them to Salt Lake and throwing out of the top floor windows into the Great Salt Lake.

    • I remember hearing this, in England when I was a non-member child. The usual response was, “wish they’d kiDnap me…” . 😁

  • Susan

    People really are gullible aren’t they?

  • Lizzie

    On my mission I spent some time in Missouri and one of the youth in the ward I was in told us a girl at his school asked us if it was true that we locked people in the chapel during the worship service and set snakes loose on everyone… All I could think about is how much harder it would be to get investigators to come to church as a missionary.

  • Gomer

    Seems like most of the ridiculous theories come from within the church rather from outside it. One woman in my parent’s ward last year talked about camps being set up by the general authorities and busses coming to pick “the select few” up on a specific day to go and live in these camps in preparation for some catastrophe or another. I didn’t pay much attention to the specifics but I also heard something about the leadership of the church taking up residence and shifting the emergency church headquarters to the Girls’ Camp above Heber City, Utah. Apparently my parents were approached by several people in their ward about it and I (being in the same stake) heard about it several places as well. Of course the day passed and nothing happened. Best to stick to the basics and beware of false prophets.

    • Lilly

      Lilly
      Wow! Wow!!!! I am So surprised with all these garbage contaminating hearts and souls of Satan’s Sons and daughters.of the world. But you return Missionaries some of your inputs it’s like you believed them, i hope you’re not. Forgive me if i’m wrong. I feel so embarrassed with all those Tell-tales, all Rubbish prophesies.
      We members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints must protect and support our Gospel. The only True Gospel of the Lord here on the face of the earth. And must honor Thy Atonement Sacrifice that save us all from our sins, Therefore we must love Him with all our hearts, mind and might.