Scary Mormon “Stranger Things” Titles

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What are the scariest things you’ll encounter in a Mormon Church? Well, we tried to come up with the best ones, and then “Strangify” them so that they would look like the title of this summer’s favorite TV show “Stranger Things.”

We used a free tool by designer Nelson Cash and had a ton of fun. And with season two just announced, it felt like the perfect time.

It’s amazing how spooky church can seem with the right background and font. We hope you enjoy!

1.Try General Conference in Hawaii

9am Sacrament

Some of the congregants look like ghouls, at the very least.

2. The Butter! The Butter!

Funeral Potatoes

We can promise your cardiologist will start screaming.

3. The Monster Between You and Eternal Marriage

Hanging Out

It may not scare you, but it terrifies YSA ward bishops the world over.

4. The Sequins It Burns

Holiday Ties

Just do everyone a favor and wear bolo ties exclusively from Thanksgiving to New Years.

5. There Will Be No Bad Language Here

Holy Fetch

Why is writing holy fetch in a scary font so funny?

6. Ten Minutes Left. What Will Bishop Do?

Impromptu Testimony

You’re wriggling in your chair and doing everything you can to avoid eye contact. But you can’t run forever.

7. Carrots Just Weren’t Meant to Do That

Jello Salad

The murky orange peeks out from under lime bundt shaped terrors.

8. The Cliches will Continue Until Morale Improves

Nourish Strengthen

What’s scary are all the foods we’re trying to bless.

9. Descend Into the Depths

Nursery Substitute

They have a culture all their own. Adapt and survive, or…

10. The Best Years of Your Life, Mwahaha

Singles Ward

If you succeed you’ll begin the scariest adventure of your life.

11. Keep Your Eyes Open. We Dare You

Third Hour

Few words have the power to strike fear into the hearts of nonmembers like “three hours of church.”

What two-word church phrases do you think deserve the “Stranger Things” treatment?

Christopher D. Cunningham, the LDS.net content director, loves emphatically celebrating his son Albus’ normal healthy development, writing about the Church of Jesus Christ, finding the middle ground on most controversies, and using Western Family generic brand lip balm. Christopher is a proud graduate of Brigham Young University-Idaho, and a resident of Lockhart, Texas. He is a longtime supporter of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.