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Just popping in here to report that the church is exploding in the Philippines. 5 years ago, there's this one ward in this one ward building on this island the size of Manhattan with 1/3 the population. Today, there are 3 wards meeting on that building and there are 2 branches spread out on the island. The house I'm staying in now belongs to one of those branches and there are ~100 families in that roster but they don't have enough priesthood holders to make a ward - most everybody are newly baptized. So, I don't know when it happened but they split the mission in this area to 2. You see these white shirts and long dresses walking around everywhere. It seems like there are quite a bunch of them. Interestingly, a young man in our ward is currently in the MTC learning the language because he just got assigned to the mission serving this island! Now that's like super coincidental it's freaky...

I don't. I don't even question the truth of your binary belief about the after-life. It is clearly and repeatedly conveyed throughout the scriptures. And, old light and knowledge isn't made false by new light and knowledge. It is simply understood differently. The truth of old light and knowledge is added upon by more and new truth. The birds-eye view of the truth is given greater meaning by a close-up or even a microscopic view. The number 1 doesn't stop being true when viewed in terms of fractions. What I object to is your declaring new light and knowledge to be false, along with its prophetic and apostolic and general membership believers Doing so, itself, is what brings your testimony into question. Doing so dogmatically makes attempting to converse with you not only unpleasant (I am being kind here), but futile, if not counterproductive--which is why not a few highly intelligent and reasonable people have broken off responding to you.. Thanks, -Wade Englund-

The only way the check mark was truly arbitrary is if one didn't actually legitimately qualify for the check mark.

Hi. I would like to bare my testimony on a specific subject. I was once getting ready for General Conference which I really love. I really love it even when I don’t understand the point that the speaker is making. Some of the talks require an understanding of cultural references that I lack. And some of them, who knows what they require, but clearly I don’t have it! I like the talks largely because the people giving them are so nice. I love nice people and therefore, I was clearly destined to be religious even as an atheist. I was happily thinking of the upcoming conference when the thought struck me. I used to volunteer with abused women. It is very common for a charismatic man or woman to be very different at home. Once the door closes on the outside world, the charismatic person can become a very different person. Sometimes a very nasty person. I felt sad for the wives of the apostles and General Authrrities. I felt how sad, it must be to listen to your husband be Mr. Wonderful in Conference and knowing that that person is cruel or uncaring to you at home. I suddenly felt and heard a still small voice say to me: ‘My prophets and those who work closely with them are good husbands and Fathers. I am not a fool. You can trust me. If they were not good husbands and fathers, I would not have chosen them. Trust me not to let you down.’ I can now listen to General Conference without worrying about their wives and children.

I dunno. Denson’s legal theory seems to boil down to: 1). Before her encounter with Bishop: that because the Church knew at some level that Bishop was sexually profligate, it should have known he was a potential rapist; and 2). After her encounter with Bishop: that Denson had a legal right a) to compel the Church to take disciplinary action against Bishop’s status as a member; b) to be informed as to the results of that disciplinary action; and c) to have the Church make a report to law enforcement that Denson herself couldn’t be bothered to make. These are not exactly rock-solid legal theories. The fight may be ugly from a PR standpoint, but to me it looks like one that is eminently winnable for the Church from a legal standpoint.

Check this baby out!

Guys, haha I just needed ideas of what to write in emails/letters because I didn’t know where to start. I truly appreciate all the concern and deep relationship advice about religion and how that could affect it in the future, but that’s really not what I was asking. Thank you for your time and comments though about it 😊 and all this talk about marriage is a couple years off haha, who knows what’s gonna happen in the next two years. I’m not writing to him so he’ll remember to come home and marry me whether I’m a member or not. That’s not at all what I’m trying to do and I feel like that’s what my comments has been skewed to be. I’m writing to him just to be supportive and encouraging because I love him as a person and I wish him the best. You’re all lovely and so willing to jump to my aid in answering things very straightforward, so thank you 💜 just wanted to get that all straightened out and clear haha.

Growth is stagnant in Europe and slowing in North and South America. It's exploding, percentage-wise, in Africa.

Your initial post confuses me, then. You are absolutely right that it's a bit forward for anyone to offer you unsolicited advise about your relationship choices, and whether they are appropriate or not. I thought you were asking for counsel on what to write, because you wanted to be supportive, while not being dishonest with your missionary friend. So, without understanding your actual intentions, we did our best to guess, and give our thoughts. If you are planning to maintain the relationship all the way to marriage, then there are a few posters here that are in interfaith relationships. They may give you better insights. Regardless, I wish you well! :-)

I think it would be really interesting to see a breakdown of these figures by area. I suspect that in the areas where the church has been established for a long time, ie, North America, England, Australia and other places, the rate of growth would be very much slower than in areas where the church is newer, particularly South and Central America, the Philippines and Africa. If this is true, it might lend support to the conclusion that the prophecies in 3rd Nephi 16 are beginning to come to pass. 3rd Nephi 16: 10 Gentiles shall sin against my gospel, and shall reject the fulness of my gospel, and shall be lifted up in the pride of their hearts above all nations, and above all the people of the whole earth, and shall be filled with all manner of lyings, and of deceits, and of mischiefs, and all manner of hypocrisy, and murders, and priestcrafts, and whoredoms, and of secret abominations; and if they shall do all those things, and shall reject the fulness of my gospel, behold, saith the Father, I will bring the fulness of my gospel from among them. 11 And then will I remember my covenant which I have made unto my people, O house of Israel, and I will bring my gospel unto them. 12 And I will show unto thee, O house of Israel, that the Gentiles shall not have power over you; but I will remember my covenant unto you, O house of Israel, and ye shall come unto the knowledge of the fulness of my gospel. 13 But if the Gentiles will repent and return unto me, saith the Father, behold they shall be numbered among my people, O house of Israel.

There's some gaps where the Church quit reporting numbers in the official statistical report.

I know that I should not do this but...I was reading the comments below a video about religion. One of the comments was complaining about how the LDS church treated former members. It was a long and rambling complaint. At the beginning of the post. The person claimed that we shun former members. By the end of the post, the person claimed that we harass former members. Now really, you can’t have this both ways! Too much attention or no attention: which is it? I feel for the poor hometeacher or visiting teacher forced to call and try to make an appointment with inactives. I have done this a few times myself. Not easy. Anyone reading this, never ever go alone to one of these visits. Whoo. An experience that still haunts me. Yikes!

Well, I want to keep arguing with you, but I think I'll join you instead. I have to take yearly training for my finance clerk gig - how to write checks, proper use of fast offerings funds, etc. No reason* the church can't produce a few YouTube videos for new bishops. It makes me wonder if they already exist, just that they're hidden somewhere in some webpage subfolder tree thing and the instructions get lost. Tell you what - when they make me emperor of the mormons, I'll see that it happens. Can I count on you when the balloon goes up? * (Well, one reason, is whatever we produce, will get leaked to the web and used against us to the extent humanly possible.)

I think the church is addressing these issues. I think that over the last 20 years in particular they have done a wonderful protecting the members. The issue to me that needs to be addressed is training of local leadership. I worked for a fortune 500 company before I landed in my current job and I was in management. Every year they shipped us off for training. All the bases were covered from hiring, to firing, to sexual harassment, to basic leadership skills including how to do presentations, and how to hold effective meetings. At the local level the rubber hits the road, not one time have I ever seen a Bishop receive formal training. People will jump on and say Well the stake president is training the local bishops. Who is training him? where did he learn it? It's on the job training for the most part they are flying by the seat of their pants.

Perhaps you are right: no significant change here, just a little more than putting a new name on an old way of doing things. Nothing to fear in that. Strange, though, that the church devoted several session of General Conference, restructured the Melch. priesthood, significantly revamped the Leader and Clerk Resource website--something that won't be completed until the 1st of August due to critical alterations in reporting, and created a web page devoted to explaining the differences as well as similarities to Home and Visiting Teaching. So, what was the point? Whatever the point, my intent isn't to dispute over or diminish the value of Home Teaching, and certainly not understate the performance of board members I barely know regarding how they handled Home Teaching.. Rather, it is to echo what has been said by church leaders and joyfully and with increased understanding accept my new calling as Ministering brethren and now as a member of the newly formed Elder's Quorum presidency in my Ward. To each their own. Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Omega, I suspect that you and I agree far more than we disagree on such things. I'm often found on the rooftops yellin' at the top of my lungs about this subject. That said, Do you believe the church is not addressing this? Because I see stuff like this: Church Statement About Alleged Sexual Assault by Former Mission President - Newsroom - March 2018 And this: How the Church Approaches Abuse - Newsroom - Take a look at what the church says about these headings: Must be new you say? How about President Hinckley's General Conference talk from 2002, where he talks about spousal, elderly, and child abuse: Maybe we're not doing enough in our communities? How about this news story from 2016: Church Marks National Child Abuse Prevention Month No really, omegamaster75, what exactly do you mean when you say "An issue that to my mind needs to be addressed"?

Again, there is a difference between intent in theory and natural results in practice, and this beyond simple misunderstanding. I will explain below. Question 14 of the Ministering FAQ asks: "How is ministering customized to meet the needs of each member?" The answer, in part, is: "Ministering brothers and sisters seek to help individuals and families prepare for their next ordinance, keep the covenants they have made, and become self-reliant. This help may include sharing spiritual messages tailored to an individual or family, though ministering is not principally a message-sharing assignment. The Liahona and Ensign will no longer include specific messages to be used in ministering contacts." (bold mine) This is what I made reference to. This is an important structural change because, while the intent behind Home Teaching was to meet the needs of the individual, the default practice was that Home Teachers were delivering the same message from the Ensign each month to each of their households--the same message they would also receive from their Home Teachers. This inadvertently made it a one-size-fits-all result. I believe the Brethren understood this, which is why they will no longer include specific messages in Church publication. Also... Question 18 of the Ministering FAQ asks: "Does ministering always include a message? The answer is: No. As ministering brothers and sisters come to know those they are assigned, they learn their needs and the Holy Ghost may prompt them to teach a gospel principle. A parent may also request a particular topic for his or her family. But the best “message” is care and compassion." (Bold mine) It is the nature of the reporting, and not the reporting itself, that makes all the difference because the nature of the reporting tends to reflect and inadvertently determine the goal. With Home Teaching, the reporting online was ultimately about the percent of families visited each month. So, whether intended or not, the goal became working towards 100% HT visits, which, whether intended or not, made it a one-size-fits-all approach. The structural change in ministering goes beyond reducing the frequency of reporting to also changing the very nature of the reporting: Question 19 of the Ministering FAQ asks: "How do ministering brothers and sisters account for their efforts?" And, the answer given is: "Leaders no longer gather reports of families and individuals who were visited during a given month. Instead, ministering brothers and sisters have an opportunity to counsel with their elders quorum and Relief Society leaders about the circumstances of those they serve and about their ongoing ministering efforts. This counseling together takes place at least quarterly in ministering interviews and any additional time when communication is necessary." Further details of the Ministering Interview are provided in answer to questions 20 and 21. (see HERE) That is great. I think a lot of Home Teachers and Visiting Teachers were inspired to do things in a way preparatory to the new program. But, the change in question goes beyond how an individual companionship may fulfill their assignments. It also significantly influences the way the presidencies select, extend, monitor, and adjust the assignments. I suspect that, given the Organizational Behavior backgrounds of Elder Bednar and Elder Eyring, they understood the structural issues unwittingly inherent in the Home Teaching program, and may have been largely influential in affecting the needed changes. But, I am simply making a wild guess. More likely, the premier OB expert, Jesus Christ, was instrumental in directing the change. My fear is that people's understandable reverence for Home Teaching may prevent them from grasping what a huge paradigm shift has taken place, and may carry much of their Home Teaching mindset into the new Ministering program, thus inadvertently neutralizing the important structural changes. I hope I am wrong. Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Perhaps. On the other hand, the PR damage has largely been done; and this case is distinguishable from child sex abuse cases because Denson was well into her twenties at the time of the incident. There’s something to be said for not becoming the “poster boy” for organizations that pay out millions of dollars every time some known liar throws around the “r” word.

I like Brian.

Settling when you don't have to, to have something just go away, is a thing. Seems like mormonleaks kind of shot that opportunity in the head. It's seems possible, even likely, that neither the woman nor the church wanted this thing to leak. But leak it did.

Sorry brother. Despite the ups and downs, as you well know, the Lord is still in charge and on our side.

I feel like this is so true! i had a leader that said he had a companion that would regularly smoke in the car. He would also, as a zone leader and assistant, often have to go out after dark to local parties and drag missionaries out of them. A lot of things have tightened up. I remember hearing stories and reading talks from old general authorities absolutely throwing down on missionaries. Rebuking then and telling them they need to baptize more and how they aren’t bold enough. He would then go forward and tell a personal mission story where he would go knock on a door and , within a couple hours of teaching and testifying, would take them out back, dam up the stream and baptize them... ya we aren’t allowed to do that anymore x) if it were I would have baptized hundereds in my mission x)

This thread is depressing.

In reply to the original question... We got married and children just seemed to follow soon after. It's one of those things. No shouting voice from heaven to me about it. No angelic visions or the Lord coming down to visit me on this. I'm not going to point out much else in this thread, I think my contention on some subjects would drive away the spirit rather then bring it in...but I WILL say this. If the above occurs...you have already been involved with emotional adultery at the least, and more than likely adultery overall. At which point, yes, probably divorce is in the picture, but I'd probably say that's due to sinning against the Laws of the Lord more than anything else. This should NOT be something to be considered or even an option, in my opinion. If you consider this an option, the adversary will KNOW this eventually, and may make it a possibility in the future. He knows our weaknesses and uses them against us. If you think it, more than likely as actions follow thought, it WILL occur. Maybe not yesterday, maybe not today, but give it a decade or two and when you think you are most miserable and bored of your marriage...it will happen and you will go as happy as a beaver into the beaver trap into the snare set for you by the adversary. I've seen it happen with great tragedy over and over and over again.

It depends on how far you want to travel. It could take an hour or two (depending on rush hour or other things) to get to it, but Disneyland is RIGHT there in California (well, right there being a subjective term). You could go. You could make it! On the subject of theme parks, San Antonio is only around an Hour South of Austin. You have Sea World...and of course, the Riverwalk and the Alamo. You have a piece of Texas history just an hour south of Austin...

I remember the church in the Philippines being faced with exactly the same situation when I was on my mission there - rapid growth, poor retention and inexperienced leadership. In my first area, the Branch President had only been baptised 5 months before I arrived. I believe that Elder Oaks helped to fix a lot of these problems when he was assigned to live in the Philippines for a few years at about the start of the century.

@Vort, surely it would be good for you to go. If you're a little short of funds, just ask @pam. She works for a multi-national ICT business whose only purpose is to do more good.

I appreciate this. During church on Sunday we discussed ministering and I felt like it was a copy paste from the home teaching lesson we discussed a couple months prior. Someone had taken away our toy red car and gave us a blue one and we got really excited xD And I agree with you. the best part of it is the reporting. Not calling your district leader and saying “I didn’t visit my families this month” is infinitely easier than sitting knee to knee with your EQ president and saying “I have no idea what is going on in the lives of the families I’m responsible for... oh... I had no idea sister smith has been in the hospital the last two weeks” Nothing we are suppose to be doing in ministering is different than what was suppose to be happening in home teaching. We are now just accountable to the purpose and not the arbitrary check mark each month.

It's hard to want to give up on a fellow-saint. Your optimism and hope is refreshing.

Thanks to everyone who responded for your input! I definitely feel more comfortable knowing what I’m wearing is respectful and won’t stand out. Have a great rest of your week!

The new Ministering is brilliant, especially with regard to reporting. The intent and theory of Home teaching has always been to minister to. If you read the CHoI on home teaching you will see the home teacher was able to minister and to personalize as needed, especially with regard to what I was responding to, in particular, the concept of seeking personal revelation with regards to how one was to serve their assigned families. Home teaching was never a "one-size-fits-all model." Nothing in our Home teaching "limited" personalizing home teaching to the families we were assigned to. If people think so, then they greatly and clearly misunderstood Home teaching and its purpose. Monthly messages haven't been eliminated. The reporting of monthly messages has been eliminated; however, people will still report quarterly on how they are ministering to their EQP. The whole concept of priesthood assignments (any assignment in the Church) is about returning and reporting. I am looking forward to this new and holier approach to ministering to our brothers and sisters. I never had any problem though with home teaching and personalizing it to the families I was assigned to.

I was going to suggest the Getty Center. Definitely a thing to do in LA. So much better than the standard tourist stuff. Also the Huntington Library and botanical gardens in Pasadena are spectacular.

To some extent, that is my fault. With me, hope springs eternal. Sorry. Thanks, -Wade Englund-

I admire your diligence in observing NMD yesterday. "Pulchitrude", indeed! Though I confess the "tr" was a beautiful combination.

Sorry. I do. And I will as long as you continue to preach false doctrines that are contrary to what they teach, imply you're smarter than them, and refuse to consider that they have been taught and guided by inspiration from the Lord, as compared to your "arm of flesh", "my brain power is best" approach in this matter. You cannot have it both way. You either believe they are led by inspiration or you do not. You cannot claim they are and then in the same breath continue to state how wrong they are. This is true. But you entirely misunderstand what it means to be "prepared". Coming up with your own philosophies and then actively preaching against God's anointed prophets and apostles is not "prepared" to receive greater light and knowledge. It is, in fact, a sure way to wander off into the mists of darkness. "Prepared" is all about humility. Humility is all about faith and trust -- and not faith and trust in your own brain, but faith that God directs His church through His prophets and apostles, alongside the scriptures and personal revelation, and He does not reveal to the ancient prophets one set of truths and then to modern prophets a different set of truths that contradict the first. You believe firmly in this contradiction, which means you either don't believe the modern prophets and apostles are led by God (which puts a lie to your claim that you have a testimony of them), or you believe God reveals different truths to different people at different times contradicting Himself. You see it as your one little area where you think you are smarter than the prophets, apostles, and everyone else you encounter. Everyone arguing against you accepts what God teaches through His prophets and apostles based on the witnesses they have from the Holy Spirit -- which is humility. You accept what YOU think, what YOU have worked out with YOUR brains, determined that YOUR brain is more competent than others, including men like Dallin H. Oaks...which premise is, frankly, laughable and stinks of pride. And you don't even claim your view has been confirmed by the Spirit. The "I believe and trust the prophets and apostles are led by God...except where I don't" approach doesn't fly. No one here believes everything they have ever said is 100% accurate. But you're suggesting that the entire church has been led astray by idiots who have failed to reason properly, failed to turn to the Lord and ask for truth, and failed to listen to or heed the line-upon-line principles they should have. That God is incapable or unwilling to teach the truth, or they're too stupid or stubborn to hear and learn that truth. Then you say you respect them. You have flat out stated that you are flying in the clouds while everyone else wallows in the mud -- and you include the living prophets and apostles in that view! That's a great way to justify any old thing anyone wants to justify based on any old philosophy anyone has. It's the same philosophy the feminists are using to argue women will get the priesthood, and the same philosophy gay advocates use to argue that there will be gay marriage in the temple someday, and the same philosophy Snufferites and the like use to justify their apostasy. Yeah. You're in great company there. Something you have self admittedly NOT DONE. The only thing you can testify of is what Rob's brain thinks. I have no faith or trust in Rob's brain. So testify as you will, but don't expect those who DO have a real testimony of the prophets and apostles to cast off that sure witness in favor of Rob's brain on your say so.

This is one of those times when I agree with Maureen. Children should be wanted, not just items on a checklist. Based on this thread, it sounds to me like Lee is not in a good place emotionally or spiritually to have a child.

ALSO, interesting to note that children born into the church has increased every year up until 2010 where it was at 120,000. Ever since then it has dropped and today it is to about 109,000. SO many of the people of my generation (millennial) don’t feel they need to start families. Of all the people I know that are my age, only three are starting families right now. Everyone else is waiting for their careers. This is incredibly common. To the point that people who start families early in marriage are somewhat looked down on. I received SO much criticism and “advice” when people found out we wanted to start a family right away.

Are you doing the work at home? If so, you might consider getting a blessing on your home. Just a thought!

I'd rephrase this a bit. Repeat, believe, commit to, and understand this mantra: "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." - Jesus Christ Once he understands, then he's ready to commit to children.

SophJ, I was inactive when my buddy went on his mission. We wrote each other often. 20+ years later, they are pretty meaningful to me. Write him! Keep it light at first, just talk about stuff, invite a response. You don't need to be anything other than yourself. Fake is pretty much always horrible IMO. Anatess's example is a good example, if you can say stuff like that and be genuine.

I was on our side but your have moved off the reservation with this one.

As I typed this up my thoughts rested upon the idea of taking a break when needed. Certainly helps to cool down and have a level head about things. I think I should try to spend some more time thinking and expressing gratitude for what the gospel has given me.

I find for myself that when I get too worked up I need to enforce a time out on myself when possible. So when I get too frustrated with virtual interactions I limit my time in them. In face to face interactions it can be harder. Especially when the person(s) making me frustrated are unavoidable characters in my life. Then I find it helpful to try to catch myself telling villain stories about them and/or watch for telling victim stories about myself. I admittedly take the gospel for granted and have a hard time recognizing how it has blessed me because I've always had it. I wonder sometimes if it isn't like having a sufficient oxygen supply in the air I breath - perhaps if the oxygen decreased a couple percentage points in the atmosphere I would realize how great I had it around 20%. Not having experienced life without the gospel of Jesus Christ, I just don't feel like I have reference point I can truly relate with to compare to.

I can't remember when I last read something as disturbing as this on here. I'm hoping you don't mean it the way it's coming across and you have some extreme limitations for when it does become necessary. But if you are even remotely considering divorce as a possibility with no indications of adultery or abuse, then as I said, very disturbing. I suggest studying the following talk and maybe speaking with @anatess2 about her views on marriage. Are you LDS? I was hoping for a response like, "My water broke." It looks like this is the closest I'm getting.

I know several people that have walked that path, must recently being my aunt. In each case, it was motivated by "let's save money" and turned into a disaster. 1) For the young kids-- it was very confusing, getting mixed signals about their parents' relationship. 2) For the couple-- in each case their were MAJOR arguments-- they got divorced for a reason, and that pain/resentment/problems/arguments don't go away after divorced papers are signed. 3) Also for the couple-- there were also moments where things go along, or somebody was sad, and flame re-lit (including sexually). After a few hours, the flame died again and just prolonging the roller-coaster ride. 4) For afterwards--- are you ready to come home at night, to see your ex and his new girlfriend kissing on your couch? Don't prolong the painful roller coaster. Instead, have a clean break when the papers are signed. If you're strapped for cash, get a real roommate (aka NOT your ex) and have her rent help with the bills.

If you are willing to live together, I find myself questioning why you are getting divorced in the first place. In my experience, most divorced couples don't want to be around one another; the ones that do are often getting divorced for the wrong reasons.

Extremely unwise. You're going to room with someone with whom you have an extensive intimate sexual history, only you're not going to have sex. Really? It's possible, but if you care about the law of chastity, I think it's very, very unwise. Find someone else to split the rent with.

I'll run the idea past my wife...but......

I would say the words. It is really that simple. (Guys generally like the blunt approach) My wife and a I went through a rough patch were we were both trying to do the hundreds of things we wanted together that we were losing... us. We answered this realization by forcing "date night" into the budget and our schedule... because it needed to be a priority or else what was the point of all the other work we were trying to do? If you feel that your man might not respond well to your blunt approach... then propose alterations to the budgets and schedules to make more together time because you feel it is important. Chances are he is feeling it too... He just thinks he needs to bear it as part of his providing for you.

If my wife were to tell me something like that, this is how I'd hope she'd say it. She would acknowledge the things I HAVE done. Men need this, or we will feel unappreciated. (Granted, you may not feel like he's doing enough, but this is a diplomatic approach, not a trial ) Tell she would tell me she misses when we used to go out to movies/dinner/whatever for dates. She would tell me she loves to feel courted, but it hasn't really been happening as much lately, and she would challenge me to up my game. Nobody likes to feel accused, or like they've been failing (especially if they have been) so this way communicates what you want without it coming across as an attack.