LiterateParakeet

Members
  • Content count

    4789
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    20

LiterateParakeet last won the day on April 11

LiterateParakeet had the most liked content!

About LiterateParakeet

  • Rank
    Senior Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Religion
    LDS

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. LiterateParakeet

    Extremely addicted to pornography

    Yes (visiting teaching too), that is brilliant. I wish we could teach THAT in our meetings. I mean the TED talk AND your observation. Edited to add: I'm just finalizing some lunch plans with a friend, which led me to think about how I have been reaching out a lot more lately....something my therapist has encouraged.....then it hit me. Aha! THIS is why my therapist wanted me to reach out. She's so smart, lol.
  2. LiterateParakeet

    Extremely addicted to pornography

    Tyke, absolutely you can overcome this. With Christ all things are possible. I'm not saying it will be easy or quick, but I am saying the Lord loves you and He can help you, if you are willing to do the work. I have been studying pornography so I have some suggestions. First, I agree with what has already been said, talk to your Bishop and get a therapist. Some times, I think we make the mistake of thinking of talking to the Bishop about sins as some form of punishment. I don't think that is correct. I think there are certain sins where the Lord says, "You going to need a little assistance overcoming this. I can't be there in person, so I've given you a Bishop to assist you. I hope you will think of the Bishop like a coach, fighting FOR you, not like a school principle whose only job is to discipline you. If you can't afford therapy, he can help you with that. Also keep in mind that, for now at least, not all therapist think porn is bad. I don't think you must have an LDS therapist, but you definitely need one who agrees that porn is harmful. So ask about that before you see them. Second, there is a science based website that has been developed to help people stop overcome porn addiction. Here's the link to the site: https://www.joinfortify.com There is a website Fight the New Drug, that posts a lot of helpful information, and they did a post on Fortify...here is an excerpt: For the rest of the article: https://fightthenewdrug.org/fortify-new-online-platform-will-change-recovery-experience/ Third, you need a mental "stop sign". I believe therapists call this 'reframing'. To do this, you need to spend some time really think about what is so destructive about porn. I could give you a list, but it needs to be personal...what do YOU feel is most destructive about porn in YOUR life. Why do you want to stop? Also consider WHY you use porn (beyond the obvious sexual gratification). Do you turn to porn when you are sad, stressed, anxious? Do you use it to "self-soothe'? Then ask yourself --- at those moments what do you need to remember to help you stop? I'll give you an example, but you need to come up with your own mental stop sign because it's a highly personal thing. So imagine your greatest fear about porn is that you might do something that will land you in prison. And you turn to porn when you feel lonely. So...your mental stop sign might be this: Imagine a prison cell, the door has just closed behind you and your new cellmate says, "Hey Sugar, want some sugar?" And he pats the cot beside him. Fear seizes you....... This would be an immediate reminder that porn will not give you the kind of company that you want. But what to do with those lonely feelings? (or whatever feelings turn you to porn...that's our next step...) Fourth, you need new healthier coping skills. Often people (men and women, adults, children and teens) turn to porn to self-soothe when they feel sad, lonely, depressed, anxious, bored...etc. So you will also need new coping skills. That is one of the things that hopefully you will learn in therapy. Some suggestions for now though..it really is highly personal and could range from meditation, reading, doing art, listening to music or creating music, certain smells, and/or physical activity like jogging, or hiking etc. Fifth, in the church we are counseled to read the scriptures and pray daily. I have found that DAILY "enforcement" is useful in breaking addiction or making new healthy habits as well. We need daily reminders of why we want to stop or start something...especially when stopping an addiction. So if I were trying to end an addiction to porn, I would spend a few minutes or more as needed, reading articles that support that such as you will find on fightthenewdrug.org and endsexualexploitation.org Also, of course, read the scriptures...Pres. Nelson recently promised that reading the Book of Mormon daily can help with pornography. And read talks on lds.org about the power of the Atonement, and about Jesus Christ. Finally, and most importantly....YES, absolutely yes, you can overcome this. People have done it in the past and people like you will do it in the future. Elder Oaks in an article about pornography talked about the shame and self-loathing that comes along with using porn. He said it leads users to "believe one of Satan's greatest lies: that what they have done or continue to do makes them a bad person, unworthy of the Savior's grace and incapable of repentance." Notice he said that is Satan's LIE. Remember that. As I said at the beginning, the Lord loves you and He can cleanse and heal you. Remember the scripture from Isaiah, though your sins be as scarlet they shall be as white as snow. Hold on to that promise. Do your part and trust the Lord to do His. He will. Pray for Ministering Angels to help you. They will as well! You can do this!
  3. LiterateParakeet

    Fountain pen frenzy thread

    I'll have to try that one one day. I love my Lamy's. Right now I'm on a TWSBI kick, I'm perfectly mezmerized by watching ink slosh in the demonstrators. But I find my taste fluctuates, so I foresee a Studio in my future.
  4. LiterateParakeet

    Fountain pen frenzy thread

    Gorgeous pen, anatess, how do you like it?
  5. LiterateParakeet

    Religious vs cultural Mormonism

    LOL, my hubby is from Portland. We got married there and lived there for four years, but I've been in Washington now for just over 10 years. So you were in the ballpark. I love the Northwest, Oregon and Washington. Florida was awesome...but I meant to ask you what is up with your road system, holy cow that was nutz!
  6. LiterateParakeet

    Religious vs cultural Mormonism

    I am not amused!
  7. LiterateParakeet

    Starbucks to close 8K stores May 29th for training

    I agree. They explained to the manager they were waiting for a friend. Many other people in Starbucks at the time said they weren't causing any trouble. In a different incident a black man was denied access to LA Fitness, even though he was a member. LA Fitness called the police, who were equally confused as to why the black man was not allowed to enter. https://www.rawstory.com/2018/04/watch-black-man-blocked-entering-nj-gym-hes-paid-member-even-cops-confused/ I think listening to their stories is important. In my experience you will find they have many different opinions just as LDS here on MormonHub do. I started by talking to black people I know in real life about these issues. Then I reached out to black people on line. I've learned a lot from listening to their experiences. So go make some new friends, ask them about these issues and then listen. The biggest mistake I think white people make in the groups I'm in, is that they want to talk rather than listen.
  8. LiterateParakeet

    Sí, señor, Seattle sucks

    I love Seattle! Though I don't like driving in downtown Seattle . . . ugh. Space Needle, Freemont Troll, Alcai Beach, Pike Place Market, Pacific Northwest Ballet.....so much to love here!!!!
  9. LiterateParakeet

    Fountain pen frenzy thread

    I love it! Gotta try some Colorverse now, though likely not that particular color, definitely this brand though. I think one of the Colorverse inks could be just the thing I'm looking for, for my Noodler's Nib Creeper! Off to Gouletpens.... Also need to buy a pen for my son, at his request! Heh, heh...
  10. LiterateParakeet

    The Fate of the Feminist Movement by Euripides

    Good point, thank goodness the concubine bit was not restored. Yes, maybe it was a cultural thing. My husband said something along those lines, that perhaps the concubines were happy to do it because it gave them better financial prospects and better opportunities for their children. Which in turn reminded me an anthropologist might remind me not to be so ethnocentric. Thanks zil!
  11. LiterateParakeet

    Fountain pen frenzy thread

    LOL, it's true. I'm trying to inflict my children too! But who can blame me?!
  12. LiterateParakeet

    The Fate of the Feminist Movement by Euripides

    Thanks, Vort. I appreciate that explanation. Honestly it still bothers me on so mnay levels, but I have to trust the Lord's plans. Ironically, after church my son was set apart as a Priest, and as the men circled around him...my heart filled with love for Priesthood ordinances. Elder Holland said when you have questions and things you don't know, hold on to those things you DO know. So that's what I will do.
  13. LiterateParakeet

    The Fate of the Feminist Movement by Euripides

    A quote from Gospel Doctrine today: "In Genesis 35:22, Bilhah, one of Rachel’s handmaids, is referred to as Jacob’s concubine. Elder Bruce R. McConkie provided the following explanation of the use of the term concubine in the Old Testament: “All down through the history of God’s dealings with his people, including those with the house of Israel, concubines were legal wives married to their husbands in the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. … Anciently they were considered to be secondary wives, that is, wives who did not have the same standing in the caste system then prevailing as did those wives who were not called concubines” (Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [1966], 154 SECONDARY??? Oh my stars.....
  14. I like drawing, in a whimsical/cartoon style and watercolor painting....which of course I stink at because watercolor is a beast, LOL. How about you? I haven't heard of Dr. Peterson, but I'll look him up.
  15. LiterateParakeet

    The Fate of the Feminist Movement by Euripides

    NeedleinA, this sounds like something my husband might say....I mention so that you know that even though I'm about to share a divergent idea, there's no hard feelings. As I said, if others agree with these ideas, but don't feel the need to label it, that's cool. But here you seem to be asking why others of us might choose the label. For me it's about advocacy and activism. (Yes, I'll be changing my avatar to a snowflake emblazened with SJW soon, LOL!) A big part of Feminism , for me, is shining the light on abuse, and rape. How far do you think I will get if I start sharing articles about that on my Relief Society page? A couple of us tried to talk about the MTC case on our unofficial Stake page and we were completely shut down. Not only was the thread closed, but it was deleted. We were told that we should have made better use of our time by preparing our minds for Conference. I was told that that the Stake page was NOT the place for that conversation, and that I should discuss it on my on FB wall instead. Well, I tried, and you know what happened? It turned into a church bashing discussion, which was NOT what I was looking for. I wanted to talk to other members about this and the issues that arise from it. In Relief Society, and Priesthood settings it's apparently okay to talk about the Law of Chasity or about pornography, but we cannot talk about sexual violence. Studies show that pornography is often linked to sexual violence, so if pornography use keeps growing we're going to have to have that conversation, but for now....my ward (and I suspect most others) would rather not talk about that elephant. One might say, advocacy and activism is not the mission of the church. That's cool. But that answers your question about why I claim the lable of Mormon Feminism....because I need Relief Society AND Femisnism to fill different but related roles in my life.