CynicalBlueJay

Definitely a valid point.

I apologize. I realized after writing that, that it was not a very good way of phrasing it. Eternal marriage with someone I genuinely want to spend eternity with is most definitely my first priority. What I meant to say in writing that(granted it was a horrible way of putting it), was that I don't want to get married for the sole purpose that it is the next step in my eternal progression. When I get married, I want to be getting married because I've found someone that I have personally decided I want to spend eternity with. I don't want to just get married to the first person that I can stand being around enough to say, "Ok, that's good enough. Now I can check that off of my to do list."

I definitely understand where you're coming from. I wouldn't say that my attitude is to not look for someone to marry until I'm thirty. I would say that it is more an attitude of not wanting to actively search for someone to marry, until I feel I am ready to get married. I wouldn't say that I'm not open to getting married in that time, I just don't want to go crazy dating trying my utmost to marry the first person that I can stand being around.

That's fair. I am familiar with the reasons why church leaders teach that, I just feel I need more time.

I agree. My whole thing is that I only have one life to pursue my interests. I want to pursue a career, first and foremost, because I am passionate about something. This, plus the other factors that I have mentioned already, have brought me to the conclusion that I would like to just live my life to the gospel principles while pursuing my interests solely because I am passionate about them, and if I meet someone along the way that I genuinely want to spend eternity with, then great. Edit: What I don't want to do is have it be like a checklist that I need to finish, and the next box that needs to be checked off is marriage.

I definitely do see a difference. My parents, my mom especially, have a bad habit of being a little bit too controlling. No shade on them, of course, they just want to see me be happy, and I understand that. When she/they ask, it most definitely has a tone of urgency and "hurry up and get married already". It does get a bit annoying from time to time, seeing as I am going on 24 years old.

Thank you for this reply! I'm glad to see that I am not the only one that thinks this. I should have added in my original post that I don't mean any disrespect to anyone who does marry so young. I just feel like the pressure on me is so much, even though I definitely feel as if I won't be ready until I'm at least thirty. I also want to get married because I genuinely want to spend eternity with someone, rather than getting married just so I GET to spend eternity with someone. I don't know. Does that make any sense?

Thank you for the great response! I appreciate it! Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't think down on people who do get married early. I guess my frustrations lie mostly in the fact that I feel as if I will have backlash if I decide to tell my family and friends that I don't want to get married until I'm at least thirty. Especially because my parents ask about my dating life constantly.

Hi, all! I just kind of need to vent a little bit, and possibly get some advice. I've been home from my mission about two and a half years now, and I'm really starting to get tired of all the pressure to get married. Don't get me wrong, I do want to be sealed in the temple eventually, but I feel like I don't want that to happen for a few more years. Currently, I am 23 years old, and will be turning 24 in June. I find myself not really agreeing with the whole "if you're not married by 25 you are a menace to society". Honestly, I don't want to get married until I am at least 30 years old. I just want to graduate and begin pursuing a career because I am passionate about it, not because I have to support a family. Somewhere in that time, if I happen to meet someone that I really like, and decide I want to marry them(assuming they feel the same), I'll get married. I really just don't like the culture of dating like crazy and marrying the first person you feel that you could stand being with the rest of your life. To be honest, there just seems something wrong with that whole way of thinking. On the other hand, I find it frustrating because I know people will say that "If that is how you feel, do it.", but because everyone else is getting married so young, I feel like by the time I feel like I am ready to pursue a marriage, It'll be completely hopeless for me. Therefore, I am conflicted in my feelings. Has anyone ever had a similar experience, or feelings about this whole thing? Thanks!