workingonit

So baptism is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. My dad will baptize me, and I'm considering asking my FIL to do the confirmation. He and I haven't got along that well since all this came out, but I think he would be willing and it might demonstrate my efforts to mend the relationship. What do you think?

I stil have a long road to the celestial kingdom, but I'm excited to at least be on the right road this time.

Advise boards always seem to leave us hanging. So...I thought I would give you all an update. In April of 2017 I was excommunicated, and in May of 2018 my discaplinary counsil was re-conveined. I am excited to let you know that I have been authorized to be rebaptised. We haven't yet selected a date, but it should be soon. My marriage is stronger than ever. I feel closer to my children and my relationship with my Father in Heaven and Savior is stronger than ever as well. I am very grateful to my Savior, for his mercy and power. I'm grateful for the struggle, it helps us determine where we want to be and affirms our dedication in obtaining those promised blessings. To any that are currently struggling...Press on, it's worth it!!

I think you are right @Bad Karma. Porn addiciton is almost always a way to deal with other problems, a way of self medication. For me, I was medicating anxiety. But I never knew that until I was seeing the right therapist. I came home early from my mission, because of anxiety. I struggled through high school and college because of anxiety. I began to learn how to manage it combined with medication, and suddenly I feel like a new man. People don't know that there is something wrong with them, because they have "always felt that way". Your wife and a therapist will prove invaluable as you deal with this. They will see things in you which you likely will not see.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. It is an incredibly difficult situation. My wife and I are in a similar one, except I'm the one that acted out, and I want to correct my actions. The thing that comes to my mind is the medication. I've been on several for depression/anxiety and they can really effect your sex drive and make you very apathetic toward most everything, including things you actully care deeply about. I would look at maybe changing that up and see if it helps. Many prayers for you my brother.

I'm probably not the best to give advise, but I can relate. There has been some good reccomendations here. My advise...all of them, not just one or the other. Counseling, 12 step, bishop, and the support of your wife. The truth is where the real strenght will come from. The idea of telling my wife, I believed my whole world would fall apart...the result was just the opposite.

@Latter-Day MarriageShe is the most amazing woman in the world!

Quick update: I told her and she didn't kill me. She was disapointed in me, and it made her sad but she actually handled it way better than I did. Long story short, we are going to continue fighting this together.

Thank you @zil

No, This whole thing really shook my Bishop up. I think I must have been the first to ever confess anything to him. We do have a good counselor though. We haven't really talked about relapse to much with him, but I'm sure it will be the topic next week if I can find the courage to tell the Mrs. .

Last February I disclosed to my wife about a pornography addiction and multiple same sex affairs. She decided to stay with me and help me work through these problems I had caused. I recently had a relapse with pornography. I haven't told her yet. I'm scared to tell her. I had been clean for about 8 months. I feel angry at myself, I feel terrible about the pain this is going to cause my wife, I feel terrible for taking a step backwards. Inside I want someone to tell me I dont really need to tell her, but I know that I really want her help, love, and support to keep moving forward to beat this addiction. I hate this because it probably changes my timeline to be re-baptized. I think I'm still on track spiritually, but keeping this from her is eating me alive, or the fear of telling her is...i'm not sure.

You can block the internet on phones and only allow certain websites that are crucial for his job duties.

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I have unfortunatly been on your husbands side of things. It truly is such an incredibly difficult place to be in. I would be shocked if someone here told you to stay or leave, that is a very important decision and I know Heavenly Father can help you choose the right path for you and your family. I just want you to know that you are enough! I know that you feel like you aren't but his choice to persue pornography has nothing to do with you. Each week I sit in an LDS 12 meeting with several other men addicted to pornography, every one of us want's to be rid of this evil so bad it's undescribable. We are each at different places in our recovery, but the effort to overcome is what is important. If I were in your shoes, that is one of the things I would look hard at...is he still trying?? If he is, I know he could use your continued support, as you both rely on the the Savior to help carry your burdens.

Excommunication is way better than living with the guilt...at least for me.

Church is where you belong. With or without her. I wasn't that much different than your wife for a long time, but my wife was really solid in the gospel. It was because of her that I have finally made some changes that will allow me to once again be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! The spirit can work through you if you allow it and put effort into what you want to become. Your dreams of attending church with your wife and feeling the spirit is possible but you first need to put the work into yourself and someday she will hopefully follow. Many prayers for you my brother.