Matthias7

Thanks for all the input so far. As Jane_Doe mentioned it is far more complicated than I could have imagined- hence my turning to this forum for help. And it has helped a lot so far. The kids are 3 and 7. We have two older kids that were baptized in the LDS Church already, but the oldest has since been baptized in my wife's church as well. It's a super tough situation. I have a meeting with my Bishop this Sunday As a side note I went to my wife's church last Sunday her pastor was very nice I got to see how they baptize there

Hey Everyone, I haven't been able to find anything on this. My wife is not LDS and I am. Of course we both want the kids baptized in our respective churches. Since they will likely be baptized in both, I was told by a friend that if they get baptized into her church after they've been baptized in mine it will nullify the LDS baptism. I can see how this might work for an adult leaving the LDS church and being baptized in another, but kids wanting to be baptized in both their parents churches? Will the LDS one be nullified? Any thoughts? I've looked on fairmormon and lds.org as well as reading D&C 76 several times. I'm still not sure. Thanks for any help

BeccaKirtyn, thanks for you concern. BPD is very difficult and from my experience clear boundaries are crucial. When we had our separation she had a few very emotional nights where she would beg me to come back to the house, then when I did she would change her mind and not want me there. So there were a few strange things. Otherwise things seemed like you’d expect them to in a separation. A lot of sadness and insecurity Bad Karma. Thank you for all your input. I will definitely follow your advice. I needed to come on this forum to get an objective viewpoint and the responses I’ve gotten, along with all the support, have opened my mind up to alternatives I hadn’t considered. I feel much more at peace. Thank you all. It’s made a huge difference.

NightSG, I didn't think of that. I'm going to her church this Sunday because I think it would be good to see where my kids are going when they're not with me. Plus I'm hoping it will help ease some of my anxiety I want to reiterate that I would never divorce someone over religious differences. It's our past (she has a history of being abusive) together adding up combined with her disrespectful approach with our kids regarding my beliefs that is pushing me to consider ending it.

Yeah, I worry about her mental stability if we get divorced. I will definitely take this into consideration with a lawyer if need be. As to her statement about no holding back things she's learned. It's safe to assume anti-mormon info will be forthcoming to my kids. She already has a whole drawer full of anti-mormon DVDs and book in our bedroom. Thank you Jane_Doe for your unique insight. You hit the nail on the head. Thanks again to everyone for all their prayers and thoughts. Your comments and feedback have helped me more than you realize.

Thank you all who offered their insights. It means so much to me to have this community of like-minded brothers and sisters to lean on. I especially appreciate scriptural reference from JohnsonJones. There were many other thoughts from everyone ( too many to mention ) that are all making a difference. I should note that had we had a good or even "normal" marriage up to this point her leaving would be much more easy to deal with. The fact is, she has been diagnosed with PTSD and Bordeline Personality Disorder due to her traumatic childhood and first marriage. We have been to several marriage counselors, with little progress. She refuses to seek treatment for it. Rationality and common sense are not really present when it comes to major issues. Without getting into details, I've been on the cusp of filing for divorce even before she officially left the Church. If it does happen, her leaving the church situation will only be a final straw, not the main reason. I will talk with her again about our boundaries with regards to sharing our beliefs. She never truly agreed to not bad-mouth the LDS Church. Her response when I asked about it was " I'll respect your beliefs, but I won't hold back anything new I learn" in other words, I see that as meaning " no guarantees". I guees I’m just wondering, given how difficult our marriage has been to this point, am I over-reacting? When is divorce justified? I know for adultery, but what about abuse? Physical abuse? Emotional? If yes, is there a scriptural or Church reference you know about? I will I'll hold off on divorce and continue to pray and seek guidance Thank you again for your thoughts.

Hi and thank you in advance for your advice. I'll try to keep this short. My wife and I have been married for 8 years. For most of our marriage, my wife has been a member with one foot out the door. She finally officially left the Church 3 weeks ago. I was expecting this for some time but it has been about 1000 times harder than I thought it would be. Mainly because of our kids. We have 4, the two older ones are my step kids. When she left, we agreed to alternate each Sunday taking the kids to our respective churches. We also agreed to be respectful and not bad-mouth the others' beliefs with the kids, but to focus on the things we have in common. I should mention that she is now evangelical and is VERY fundamental in her view of the Bible. Our marriage has been full of struggle other than our religious differences. She had a very traumatic past, and this has had an impact on our marriage. I won't go into the details, but in addition to all the other issues, I now see her trying to lead our children away from the Church. Our oldest expressed an interest in getting his Patriarchal blessing and twice mentioned he thought the LDS Church was true just in the last few weeks. He has now completely changed his tune and even got baptized in my wife's church (he is 18 btw). I didn't meet him until he was 10, and him being my step-son he tends to lean more toward his mom with personal issues. We agreed not to try to bad mouth the others' beliefs but she has not held up to her end of the bargain. She has come behind me, contradicting what I try and teach him about the LDS Church. I am starting to seriously consider divorce. We already had a separation for about 6 months a year ago but decided to try again. We were sealed 4 years ago, although she has never worn her garments since and I don't believe she takes that covenant seriously. Her leading our kids away was the final straw. I'm so confused as to my next move. Please offer any thoughts. For what it's worth my testimony is rock-solid and trying to help my wife find answers to all her many questions over the years has only helped strengthen it. It makes it that much harder to see my kids being slowly turned away. I do my best to help their testimonies but I don't want to get in a tug-of-war situation with them. I feel helpless. I can offer more details if necessary, but like I said I'm trying to keep this short.