Breaking The Law Of Chastity ( The Second time after great progression )

[melchizedek]

Need some advice. I am once a Law of Chastity breaker when I am in my Youngmen age, I am almost an inactive those days but I've met LDS friends in our school that soon help me Love the Gospel and make a great progression into it, Later I gained a strong testimony of the Gospel and become really active in our ward and stake. I Love being a part of the choir, being a happy Single adult who once dream of a TempLe marriage, I have callings in the ELders Quorum. I study very much about the Law of chastity because I know it is my weakest point that could pull me out from my dream Life and my goal to reach the Celestial Kingdom. I strive everyday to keep the commandments and study and read the scriptures, BUT after a FOOLISH time, Ive break it again, BUT now with a clear knowledge of what I've done not just like before, I wanted to stop for me to continue my life before I commited it, I want to be happy. But my body still craves for it now, and my body rationalizes that I needed it, sometimes thoughts came to me like "I envy those members who have been converted in their married age cause they have a spouse who could fill their love and physical intimacy in righteousness....I have wrote a letter to my Bishop and know that he would soon call me for interview...But I am stiLL commiting it continously, offending my Holy Ghost but now the feeling of Guilt is becoming less and less....please Give me advice I Love this site cause I could freely share myself, thanks a Lot for the help and support u wanted to give me =)

Edited April 22, 2012 by melchizedek

[melchizedek]

Need some advice. I am once a Law of Chastity breaker when I am in my Youngmen age, I am almost an inactive those days but I've met LDS friends in our school that soon help me Love the Gospel and make a great progression into it, Later I gained a strong testimony of the Gospel and become really active in our ward and stake. I Love being a part of the choir, being a happy Single adult who once dream of a TempLe marriage, I have callings in the ELders Quorum. I study very much about the Law of chastity because I know it is my weakest point that could pull me out from my dream Life and my goal to reach the Celestial Kingdom. I strive everyday to keep the commandments and study and read the scriptures, BUT after a FOOLISH time, Ive break it again, BUT now with a clear knowledge of what I've done not just like before, I wanted to stop for me to continue my life before I commited it, I want to be happy. But my body still craves for it now, and my body rationalizes that I needed it, sometimes thoughts came to me like "I envy those members who have been converted in their married age cause they have a spouse who could fill their love and physical intimacy in righteousness....I have wrote a letter to my Bishop and know that he would soon call me for interview...But I am stiLL commiting it continously, offending my Holy Ghost but now the feeling of Guilt is becoming less and less....please Give me advice I Love this site cause I could freely share myself, thanks a Lot for the help and support u wanted to give me =)

[Dravin]

"I envy those members who have been converted in their married age cause they have a spouse who could fill their love and physical intimacy in righteousness...."

Being married doesn't mean sex on tap. Don't get me wrong, it does mean that there is an acceptable (and I would say Godly) outlet for those passions but the need for control is still there.

But I am stiLL commiting it continously, offending my Holy Ghost but now the feeling of Guilt is becoming less and less....please Give me advice I Love this site cause I could freely share myself, thanks a Lot for the help and support u wanted to give me =)

Are we talking about masturbation issues or are you having sex? It makes a difference in how one approaches any advice.

Edited April 22, 2012 by Dravin

[melchizedek]

masturbation

[JudoMinja]

I have struggled with masturbation as well. It is an emotional/hormonal release that works as a coping mechanism for other problems that aren't as easy to recognize. Loneliness, depression, idleness, fear of rejection, lack of faith, guilt, lack of self-esteem, etc. These feelings can sometimes be overwhelming and present a very personal, hidden struggle. The high you feel through masterbating then becomes addictive and it becomes harder and harder to resist the urge to seek that release.

From a biological perspective- your body is seeking a chemical balance. When things are out of whack, you will feel desires and urges for things that your body has already experienced and knows can (at least temporarily) restore that balance. The problem is that your body does not know or recognize the difference between things that provide temporary relief and what will be truly healing. You have to make that distinction for yourself.

If you are experiencing feelings of depression- speak with a doctor/therapist to find out if medication might be necessary. This isn't a fix, but it can help if you have clinical depression since this means that your body simply cannot naturally maintain the chemical balance it needs. And whether or not you need medication- these are all some good things that will help as well:

Exercise- getting your blood flowing and your heart pumping releases endorphins and improves your health.

Eat healthy- healthy foods also provide good chemical releases that are necessary for your body. You can talk with a nutritionist to find out specifically which foods might help you to determine whether or not you have any deficiencies in need of correction.

Get outside- sunlight provides vitamin D, which helps give you a "positive charge" and is why people seem more happy on sunny days as opposed to gloomy rainy days.

Keep busy- don't let yourself be idle. Ever. Idle hands lead to temptation. Fill your schedule with positive things to do like volunteer activites, college classes or talent workshops, hobbies, collections, etc.

Serve others- find ways to be "useful" and improve your sense of self-worth by putting your individual skills and talents to work helping others in need.

Avoid being alone as much as possible- spend time around other people as much as you can and get involved in activities that will get you out of your house and interacting with others.

Finally, we get to the spiritual side of things. It is good that you've contacted your bishop. He is going to be your "coach" to help see you through this rough patch of your life as you strive to overcome your weaknesses. When I saw my bishop, he had me keep a scripture journal- reading by topic on things like repentance, sin, forgiveness, temptation, etc. and taking down all my thoughts as to how these scriptures pertained to me. He also had me re-read the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet and write a more personalized version for myself.

Fill your time with spiritual things as much as you can. Whenever you feel a desire to masturbate returning, whenever an unclean thought enters your mind- grab your scriptures. Say a prayer. Sing a hymn. Do some pushups. Go for a run. Tackle it the moment it enters your thoughts so that it doesn't take root.

And last of all- keep a tally for yourself to help you see your progress. Don't just mark every time you give in. Mark every time you feel the temptation, and you resist it. And I can assure you, that as you keep a tally this way, you will see that you are doing better than you think. I went through a time when I would masturbate every day, and then maybe once a week, then about once a month. I would beat myself up every time and feel like a failure. But when I started keeping this tally, I realized that I wasn't failing. I was WINNING. And I eventually also noticed that I would feel that temptation less and less, until such thoughts hardly, if ever, even entered my mind.

[mhsmd]

You sound like my husband. He and his mother were inactive for a long time, and he was drinking and breaking the law of chastity regularly. He's only 21 now, never gone on a mission, and (as you may have guessed) he is now married. Guess what. HE STILL HAS PROBLEMS WITH THE LAW OF CHASTITY!!! Why? Because it takes two people to have sex, and when the woman doesn't want to then the man doesn't get any. Do not think that marriage will solve your problems. My husband thought the same thing, and I spent a year convincing him otherwise before I would marry him. I made him confront and at least start to deal with his problems before I would marry him. You need to feel the love and support that the Savior has for you. Also, here is my best advice for any sexual sin: Stop trying to stop. Seriously. I tried that for years, and it only made me feel like crap. Only when I decided to get closer to Heavenly Father through journal writing and scripture study, and to deal with my stress with running and yoga, did I find that I no longer felt the need to break the law of chastity. Yes, it was still tempting, and sometimes still is. But the temptation became so much weaker after I dedicated myself to filling my time with productive activities. If you can't overcome this weakness on your own, then it is more likely that you will drag those you date into sin as well. Change for your own salvation, for your own happiness, and for the happiness of your future marriage.

[Timpman]

I think your bishop will be kind to you. If he recommends the Church's 12 step program, DO IT.

[log2]

Is there anything in your life, beyond your not being chaste, that you feel might be keeping you back in your spirituality? Usually, you can feel it if such things are in your life. The problems you're having with chastity might be symptomatic of other problems you're justifying to yourself, or rationalizing yourself into keeping around. For some people, as an example, competitive activities such as video games might be a barrier to spiritual power.

What is your first priority? Is it pursuing a goal that does not align with your desire for purity? If there is any thing of a higher priority in your life than becoming pure, please, re-evaluate your activities. Give them up if they stand in your way. Find local friends in the Gospel, and engage in conversations about it - principles, testimony, and experiences - make the Gospel a focal point for your intellectual life.

If there is anything weighing you down, divest yourself of it, and unburden your whole soul in prayer to your Father. Pray with all your might to receive of his Spirit. See how you feel then.