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    • Heather

      Mormon Hub Rules - Please be familiar with these rules before posting   04/17/08

        Any views expressed on Mormon Hub are independent of and do not represent the views of Mormon Hub, More Good Foundation, or Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Site Rules 1. Do not post, upload, or otherwise submit anything to the site that is derogatory towards The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, its teachings, or its leaders. Anti-LDS Propaganda will not be tolerated anywhere. 2. Please be conscious of the fact that although Mormon Hub is aimed towards an LDS audience, that the membership of this site consists of friends from an array of different backgrounds, beliefs, and cultures. Please be respectful and courteous to all, and know that everyone who is willing to follow the Rules and Terms of Mormon Hub are welcome to participate and be a member of Mormon Hub. Keep in mind that anything posted, uploaded, or otherwise displayed on the site should be understandable to friends of other faiths as well as to members. Please define any LDS vocabulary that friends of other faiths may not understand (i.e. Mutual, Relief Society, and Deacon.) 3. Personal attacks, name calling, flaming, and judgments against other members will not be tolerated. 4. No bickering and nit-picking toward others. Realize that sometimes it is very difficult to be able to express how one feels through written words. Please be courteous and ask for a further explanation, rather then trying to attack and find holes in someone else's post. 5. No cursing or crude language. Any swearing, including filter skipping, will result in an automatic one week suspension. 6. Posting issues you have with a moderator or administrator anywhere on the site will not be allowed. Please follow the chain of authority if you have any concerns. Any such posts will be removed and the poster will be subject to the consequences of breaking the rules. List of site moderators Course of action that should be taken if you have a concern: - Send a message directly to the moderator you have a concern about. If you are unable to work out the problem then, - Send a message to the head moderators. - If after you have approached both avenues, you may then send a message to Heather; however know that Heather is very unlikely to over rule anything that has been sanctioned by the moderators and head moderators. 7. Multiple accounts are not allowed and will result in all accounts being banned from the site. 8. Please do not share any "true" or "faith promoting" stories, unless you can verify the source. 9. Do not post any copyrighted material, unless the copyright is owned by you. 10. Bigoted/racial/ethnic comments will not be tolerated. Political Neutrality Policy More Good Foundation, as a nonprofit foundation, must remain neutral with respect to partisan politics and candidate campaigns for public office. The foundation encourages its members and staff to be informed about political issues and to be engaged in civic life; however, it does not endorse or oppose any political parties, candidates, or platforms. Mormon Hub will allow political discussion, also long as all posts remain neutral with respect to partisan politics and candidate campaigns for public office. You may not use the site to show support, endorse, oppose or sanction any candidate. In addition, all posts must be respectful and sensitive to readers of all political beliefs and backgrounds. Any post that violates any of the above conditions will be dealt with according to the consequences of breaking the rules. As a non-profit organization, 501©3, we are governed by legal constraints relative to writing, blogging, or otherwise endorsing any candidate running for political office. The law states, in effect, that no one acting on behalf of the nonprofit can intervene directly or indirectly in the election process by endorsing a political candidate. Any post that speaks favorably about one candidate, even in a religious context, can be construed as indirect intervention in the election process. While journalists are presently exempt from this provision, bloggers and forum-members are not. 12. You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this site to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or otherwise in violation of any law. 13. You will not use this site to solicit the sale of any product, service or website. You will not use this site to promote a money making venture or contest. If appropriate, you may post a link to your personal website or to your business on your profile, in your forum signature, and you make create one post in the web link section of the forum. Do not post any link or discuss any business, service, or website that violates any rule of Mormon Hub. Mormon Hub is not responsible for the content of any site linked on Mormon Hub. Consequences to these rules could result in the following, and are determined on a case by case basis. Anything that an Administrator or Moderator determines is more than just an infraction of the rules, will result in immediate banning from the site and/or legal action: First infraction will result in a warning and a message from a moderator on what rule was broken. Second infraction will result in a one week suspension followed by a two week moderator post approval Third infraction will result in banned from the site for good. Any topic, message, video, music, image, or other upload or submission to the site that breaks any rules will be deleted. Please remember that we are not responsible for anything posted or uploaded. We do not vouch for or warrant the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any message or upload. We are not responsible for the contents of any message, video, image, post or upload. The messages express the views of the author of the message, not necessarily the views of Mormon Hub , More Good Foundation, or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Any user who feels that a posted message is objectionable is encouraged to contact the Administration immediately by Private Message, Email, or Report a Post. We will make every effort to remove objectionable messages and uploads within a reasonable time frame, if we determine that removal is necessary. Mormon Hub Terms of Use Agreement January 8, 2008 Mormon Hub is a social networking service that allows Members to create unique personal profiles online in order to find and communicate with old and new friends. Mormon Hub refers to "Mormon Hub or its proprietors." The services offered by Mormon Hub ("Mormon Hub" or "we") include the Mormon Hub website (the "Mormon Hub Website"), the Mormon Hub Internet messaging service, and any other features, content, or applications offered from time to time by Mormon Hub in connection with the Mormon Hub Website (collectively, the "Mormon Hub Services"). The Mormon Hub Services are hosted in the U.S. This Terms of Use Agreement ("Agreement") sets forth the legally binding terms for your use of the Mormon Hub Services. By using the Mormon Hub Services, you agree to be bound by this Agreement, whether you are a "Visitor" (which means that you simply browse the Mormon Hub Website) or you are a "Member" (which means that you have registered with Mormon Hub). The term "User" refers to a Visitor or a Member. You are only authorized to use the Mormon Hub Services (regardless of whether your access or use is intended) if you agree to abide by all applicable laws and to this Agreement. Please read this Agreement carefully and save it. If you do not agree with it, you should leave the Mormon Hub Website and discontinue use of the Mormon Hub Services immediately. If you wish to become a Member, communicate with other Members and make use of the Mormon Hub Services, you must read this Agreement and indicate your acceptance during the Registration process. This Agreement includes Mormon Hub's policy for acceptable use of the Mormon Hub Services and Content posted on the Mormon Hub Website, your rights, obligations and restrictions regarding your use of the Mormon Hub Services and Mormon Hub's Privacy Policy. In order to participate in certain Mormon Hub Services, you may be notified that you are required to download software or content and/or agree to additional terms and conditions. Unless otherwise provided by the additional terms and conditions applicable to the Mormon Hub Services in which you choose to participate, those additional terms are hereby incorporated into this Agreement.  Mormon Hub may modify this Agreement from time to time and such modification shall be effective upon posting by Mormon Hub on the Mormon Hub Website. You agree to be bound to any changes to this Agreement when you use the Mormon Hub Services after any such modification is posted. It is therefore important that you review this Agreement regularly to ensure you are updated as to any changes. Please choose carefully the information you post on Mormon Hub and that you provide to other Users. You may NOT include any of the following information anywhere on Mormon Hub, including private messages: telephone numbers, street addresses, last names, and any photographs containing nudity, or obscene, lewd, excessively violent, harassing, sexually explicit or otherwise objectionable subject matter. Email addresses should NEVER be posted to the general public. Despite this prohibition, information provided by other Mormon Hub Members (for instance, in their Profile) may contain inaccurate, inappropriate, offensive or sexually explicit material, products or services, and Mormon Hub assumes no responsibility or liability for this material. If you become aware of misuse of the Mormon Hub Services by any person, please contact Mormon Hub or click on the "Report Inappropriate Content" link at the bottom of any Mormon Hub page. Mormon Hub reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to moderate, reject, refuse to post or remove any posting (including private messages) by you, or to restrict, suspend, or terminate your access to all or any part of the Mormon Hub Services at any time, for any or no reason, with or without prior notice, and without liability. Mormon Hub expressly reserves the right to remove your profile and/or restrict, suspend, or terminate your access to any part of Mormon Hub Services if Mormon Hub determines, in its sole discretion, that you pose a threat to Mormon Hub and/or its Users. Mormon Hub reserves the right to ask a member to change their username if it is found to be offensive or can be perceived as offensive. Due to the sacredness, this would include any usernames that include, Jesus, Christ, God, Lord, names of Prophets, General authorities etc. The names of personal or business websites, blogs, etc. to promote said sites is also prohibited. Using names of political figures or party affiliation is also prohibited. 1. Eligibility. Use of and Membership in the Mormon Hub Services is void where prohibited. By using the Mormon Hub Services, you represent and warrant that (a) all registration information you submit is truthful and accurate; ( B) you will maintain the accuracy of such information; © you are 14 years of age or older; and (d) your use of the Mormon Hub Services does not violate any applicable law or regulation. Your profile may be deleted and your Membership may be terminated without warning, if we believe that you are under 13 years of age. 2. Term. This Agreement shall remain in full force and effect while you use the Mormon Hub Services or are a Member. You may terminate your Membership at any time, for any reason, emailing an admin. Mormon Hub may terminate your Membership at any time, without warning. Even after Membership is terminated, this Agreement will remain in effect, including sections 5-17. 3. Password. When you sign up to become a Member, you will also be asked to choose a password. You are entirely responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your password. You agree not to use the account, username, or password of another Member at any time or to disclose your password to any third party. You agree to notify Mormon Hub immediately if you suspect any unauthorized use of your account or access to your password. You are solely responsible for any and all use of your account. 4. Non-commercial Use by Members. The Mormon Hub Services are for the personal use of Members only and may not be used in connection with any commercial endeavors except those that are specifically endorsed or approved by Mormon Hub. Illegal and/or unauthorized use of the Mormon Hub Services, including collecting usernames and/or email addresses of Members by electronic or other means for the purpose of sending unsolicited email or unauthorized framing of or linking to the Mormon Hub Website is prohibited. Commercial advertisements, affiliate links, and other forms of solicitation may be removed from Member profiles without notice and may result in termination of Membership privileges. Appropriate legal action will be taken for any illegal or unauthorized use of the Mormon Hub Services. 5. Proprietary Rights in Content on Mormon Hub. Mormon Hub does not claim any ownership rights in the text, files, images, photos, video, sounds, musical works, works of authorship, or any other materials (collectively, "Content") that you post to the Mormon Hub Services. After posting your Content to the Mormon Hub Services, you continue to retain all ownership rights in such Content, and you continue to have the right to use your Content in any way you choose. By displaying or publishing ("posting") any Content on or through the Mormon Hub Services, you hereby grant to Mormon Hub a limited license to use, modify, publicly perform, publicly display, reproduce, and distribute such Content solely on and through the Mormon Hub Services.
      Without this license, Mormon Hub would be unable to provide the Mormon Hub Services. For example, without the right to modify Member Content, Mormon Hub would not be able to digitally compress music files that Members submit or otherwise format Content to satisfy technical requirements, and without the right to publicly perform Member Content, Mormon Hub could not allow Users to listen to music posted by Members. The license you grant to Mormon Hub is non-exclusive (meaning you are free to license your Content to anyone else in addition to Mormon Hub), fully-paid and royalty-free (meaning that Mormon Hub is not required to pay you for the use on the Mormon Hub Services of the Content that you post), sublicensable (so that Mormon Hub is able to use its affiliates and subcontractors such as Internet content delivery networks to provide the Mormon Hub Services), and worldwide (because the Internet and the Mormon Hub Services are global in reach). 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Mormon Hub makes no warranties, express or implied, as to the Content or to the accuracy and reliability of the Content or any material or information that you transmit to other Members.   7. Content/Activity Prohibited. The following is a partial list of the kind of Content that is illegal or prohibited to post on or through the Mormon Hub Services.Mormon Hub reserves the right to investigate and take appropriate legal action against anyone who, in Mormon Hub's sole discretion, violates this provision, including without limitation, removing the offending communication from the Mormon Hub Services and terminating the Membership of such violators. Prohibited Content includes, but is not limited to Content that, in the sole discretion of Mormon Hub: is patently offensive and promotes racism, bigotry, hatred or physical harm of any kind against any group or individual; harasses or advocates harassment of another person; exploits people in a sexual or violent manner; contains nudity, violence, or offensive subject matter or contains a link to an adult website; solicits personal information from anyone; provides any telephone numbers, street addresses, last names, URLs or email addresses; promotes information that you know is false or misleading or promotes illegal activities or conduct that is abusive, threatening, obscene, defamatory or libelous; promotes an illegal or unauthorized copy of another person's copyrighted work, such as providing pirated computer programs or links to them, providing information to circumvent manufacture-installed copy-protect devices, or providing pirated music or links to pirated music files; involves the transmission of "junk mail," "chain letters," or unsolicited mass mailing, instant messaging, "spimming," or "spamming"; contains restricted or password only access pages or hidden pages or images (those not linked to or from another accessible page); furthers or promotes any criminal activity or enterprise or provides instructional information about illegal activities including, but not limited to making or buying illegal weapons, violating someone's privacy, or providing or creating computer viruses; solicits passwords or personal identifying information for commercial or unlawful purposes from other Users; involves commercial activities and/or sales without our prior written consent such as contests, sweepstakes, barter, advertising, or pyramid schemes; includes a photograph of another person that you have posted without that person's consent; or uses sexually suggestive imagery or any other unfair, misleading or deceptive Content intended to draw traffic to the profile.
      The following is a partial list of the kind of activity that is illegal or prohibited on the Mormon Hub Website and through your use of the Mormon Hub Services. Mormon Hub reserves the right to investigate and take appropriate legal action against anyone who, in Mormon Hub's sole discretion, violates this provision, including without limitation, reporting you to law enforcement authorities. Prohibited activity includes, but is not limited to: criminal or tortuous activity, including child pornography, fraud, trafficking in obscene material, drug dealing, gambling, harassment, stalking, spamming, spimming, sending of viruses or other harmful files, copyright infringement, patent infringement, or theft of trade secrets; advertising to, or solicitation of, any Member to buy or sell any products or services through the Mormon Hub Services. You may not transmit any chain letters or junk email to other Members. It is also a violation of these rules to use any information obtained from the Mormon Hub Services in order to contact, advertise to, solicit, or sell to any Member without their prior explicit consent. In order to protect our Members from such advertising or solicitation, Mormon Hub reserves the right to restrict the number of emails which a Member may send to other Members in any 24-hour period to a number which Mormon Hub deems appropriate in its sole discretion. If you breach this Agreement and send unsolicited bulk email, instant messages or other unsolicited communications of any kind through the Mormon Hub Services, you acknowledge that you will have caused substantial harm to Mormon Hub, but that the amount of such harm would be extremely difficult to ascertain. 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    • rpframe

      IMPORTANT!! -- Login Issues   09/12/17

      TL;DR; In order to fix login issues, a lot of people will have to reset their password. As of now, if you are unable to login, please attempt a "Forgot Password"/"Password Reset" (check your spam folder) and if that doesn't work then feel free to Contact Us, for help and please check back on this post for any status updates and FAQs as we go through this process. FAQ:
      [Reserved Space]
      Firstly, I'd like to apologize on behalf of MormonHub for the frustration of the login system. There is a lot of cool things we could do with the login system, and having the logins synced up between our forum system and our front end system has been nice, but for multiple reasons (not just the current login issues), we have decided to move back to the earlier login system. While I would love to be able to migrate everyone's current passwords back, but the systems are just not compatible that way. So a large number of users will need to do a password reset. We realize that we forced everyone to do this on the move to the new system, and we sincerely apologize to everyone that will have to do it again. The Login System has now been swapped over. Give us a little bit of time to work out kinks in the system (will post updates here). If you are unable to login anymore, then please perform a password reset (check spam folder) and if that fails and we don't have any acknowledgement of problems on this post (No known problems at this time), then feel free to contact us (keeping in mind that there are a lot of you and very few of us).
Guest

Am I overreacting?

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Guest

How would you feel if your Young Women president and Young Women first councilor (the bishop's wife) came to your house and asked if they could take your daughter (the Laurel president) to go and visit some less active girls in your ward? You wouldn't think much of it, right? You would let your daughter go with them because this is pretty normal, the Young Women president and your daughter go and visit girls all of the time, bringing them the list of mutual activities coming up in the month. Well what would you think if your daughter came home in tears and when you asked her what was wrong, she told you that they hadn't been visiting the less active girls at all, but instead they drove to a nearby park and began to confront your daughter about a live stream video that she had done on Facebook with her best friend the week before. The live stream video involved your daughter sitting in a bathtub with her best friend (in their swimsuits) listening to music and just joking around. You had seen this video before and it didn't really concern you because your daughter and her best friend are really close and they weren't doing anything inappropriate. Well apparently your daughter's Young women leaders saw it differently. My daughter told me that they parked their car in the parking lot of our nearby park and then confronted her about the video. They started off by saying that the live stream worried them and they found it really "disturbing". They said that the friendship that my daughter and her best friend have is "inappropriate", and that my daughter shouldn't have done that. In the live stream, my daughter IS sitting in a bathtub with her best friend, but they are wearing swimsuits and are sitting on opposite ends of the bathtub, talking to each other about the music they were listening to, and answering questions that my daughter's friends were commenting on her video. I fail to see how that is "sexual", as they told her. They made my daughter cry, seeing that her best friend is suicidal and they just kept bringing up the fact that their friendship is innapropriate. They told her that although they appreciate everything that my daughter has done to bring her best friend to mutual and church (because her best friend had been less active a while back), she needs to take a break from spending time with her best friend. Their reason for saying this is because "it could give the younger girls the impression that you and her are dating, and they look up to you, you have a great influence on them'. They flat out told my daughter that it appears that she is dating her best friend and that isn't acceptable. My daughter is not attracted to other girls, so them implying this was kind of offensive and hurtful, that they would treat her this way, thinking that she is attracted to the same sex. We haven't had any problems with this before, but I guess with their live stream video and my daughter and her best friend occasionally holding hands, they started to become "concerned".  Is is okay for them to come over to my house, ask to borrow my daughter to go and visit other young women in our ward, and then take her to a park instead and tell her all that she is doing wrong, without ever even bringing up this subject with my husband and I beforehand? Am I overreacting or is this actually something i should worry about?

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I would lose my mind if this happened, A face to face confrontation with both the YW president and 1st counselor is necessary.  While I am sure everyone can appreciate their concern they have clearly over stepped their boundaries.  I wouldn't email, wouldn't text, I would meet them in the same park and let them have it. 

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Pro-tip...  If you feel the need to lie(like they did)... for just about any reason... that means the spirit is not with you... And if the spirit is not with you then you not in a position to rebuke anyone with sharpness per D&C 121.

I would set up a appointment with the Bishop and share with him the story.  Because in many ways from what you say they did a bishop level worthiness interview.. without the calling or authority to do so.

Now there most likely is more to the story then you know.. so go find out.

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They lied.  Who is the father of all lies?  That they started this process using one of Satan's tactics testifies that what they were doing was wrong - and that somewhere inside, they knew it was wrong (we don't feel the need to lie when we know what we're doing is right).  I agree that this needs to be handled in person.

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54 minutes ago, estradling75 said:

Pro-tip...  If you feel the need to lie(like they did)... for just about any reason... that means the spirit is not with you... And if the spirit is not with you then you not in a position to rebuke anyone with sharpness per D&C 121.

I would set up a appointment with the Bishop and share with him the story.  Because in many ways from what you say they did a bishop level worthiness interview.. without the calling or authority to do so.

Now there most likely is more to the story then you know.. so go find out.

I disagree, I think that it need not be brought to the Bishop's attention "yet".  Three adults should be able to get together and resolve this little dust up. 

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1 minute ago, unixknight said:

These women took her on false pretenses of ward business.

This is a good point.  This is more than a bunch of women screwing up in their personal lives; they were acting in an official capacity, using authority delegated through the bishop...  Whether to involve the bishop is a difficult question in this case since one of them is wife to the bishop.  Has he already heard a version?  Will he believe any version other than his wife's?  What will his wife tell him about a private conversation he doesn't witness first-hand?  Is it better to talk to him privately, or with all of them there (I envision serious contention with all of them fighting it out in the same small room)?

I don't envy the decision, but I think it cannot be left unaddressed - it's best for all involved that it be addressed, and sooner than later.

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THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF.  This is usurping your authority as a parent, breaking the trust of your teen-ager, and doing possibly irreparable harm to your daughter's spirit and her trust in Church authority.  THIS IS A CHURCH LEADERSHIP ISSUE AND NEEDS TO BE RESOLVED WITH THE BISHOP.  This is one of those things that would give you reason to raise your hand NAY on ward conference.

That said, you, as a parent have a lot of work to do to reinforce gospel teachings - especially compassion and forgiveness and service and love - not only for your daughter's friends but also for your daughter's leaders who have made a serious mistake.

 

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I agree with the other comments. This was out of line. I think you should talk to the Bishop.

Another concern I have is the really terrible advice to step back from the friendship with a girl who is suicidal. That could make the girl feel abandoned and push her over the edge.  

Finally, my daughter did the same thing...with one of her best friends (bathing suits in the bathtub). I did something similar at that age. You are right that's not a big deal.  

I'm sure these sisters meant well, but they poor decisions and advice are hurting the girls. The Bishop needs to know ao he can prayerfully discern if this was just a temporary lapse in judgment or if its time for them to serve somewhere else.  

 

Edited by LiterateParakeet

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Lilyflowers,

I'm going to guess there is something more that is going on here than what you have told us as several red flags in the story light up. My guess is your daughter is giving you a version of the story that isn't quite the truth and probably contains a lot of bs in it too and my guess is she has probably got you wrapped around her finger to believe her every word and to come to her aid at the drop of a hat.

First off your daughter is 16-17; teenagers are mischievous (even the good ones), they don't tell the truth all the time, they try to get away with things.  They are trying to be adults but not quite ready to be adults and some are more mischievous than others; girls are going to be boy crazy and utter drama queens, boys will be causing some mayhem . . . my motto is trust but verify.

There is her version of the truth (warped by her still immature not fully formed brain), the version of the leaders and then the actual truth.  Her version of the truth makes it seem like they planned out this "secret", premeditated behind the back way of jumping her. I highly doubt that is the actual truth.  Before you go off all half-cocked ready to give someone a piece of your mind, it might be good just have a calm, rational discussion with the leaders.  After church, "Hi, Katie (whatever her name is) came home very upset the other night after visiting less actives, I couldn't quite make out the full story-would you mind telling me what happened?" Very calm, very rational-not in a momma bear mode, but in a "I'd like to understand their perspective mode"

 

Now, I will give a piece of my mind :-).  What the heck?? Why in the world are you allowing your kids to use Facebook and livestream??? There is absolutely no redeeming value for a 16 year old to be live-streaming on Facebook.  Kids these days can't even carry on a normal conversation b/c they are stuck in social media world.  And yes, I do think livestreaming being in  bathtub in swimsuits is a bad thing.  

What exactly is the point of livestreaming on Facebook being in the bathtub?  Anyone can have access to it; just send them a link-and once the link is sent out-you can't control who it goes to-even if it is password protected.  This has got to be one of the dumbest ideas that a parent would let their 16-17 year old live stream being in the bathtub with swimsuits.  All the idiot girl needs to do (and yes a 16-17 year old is an idiot), is send the link to Billy. Billy thinks it's great and sends the link to Joe. Now Joe sends it to his 15 best friends and before you know it 20 16-17 year old (or maybe even older!!!) kids are watching your daughter in a bathtub with her swimsuit on.  

Do you see where this is going???  Billy sends a text to your daughter, "hey show a little bit of shoulder baby, j/k, lol :-)!!!!"  

So, yeah, if I'm a leader over youth, you dang right, I'd give her a piece of my mind for doing something idiotic like that . . . and I'd give the parents a piece of my mind too!!

 

And if you think "oh my daughter would never do that!!" Think again, you've given her access to the world-if my 8 year old can figure out how to reset passwords, manipulate web browsers, etc.  I guarantee your 16-17 year old is smart enough to have a second account on the side and only tell her mom the things she wants to hear to make her out like an innocent little angel.

Edited by yjacket

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1 minute ago, yjacket said:

 This has got to be one of the dumbest ideas that a parent would let their 16-17 year old live stream being in the bathtub with swimsuits.  All the idiot girl needs to do (and yes a 16-17 year old is an idiot), is send the link to Billy.

This is kind of disrespectful to talk about my daughter that way. No, it wasn't the best decision she has made, but I overall don't see anything wrong. She took the video down the next day. Only five or six of her friends had seen it. All female. 

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For everyone saying that we should set up a meeting with the bishop, those young women leaders were kind enough to set up a meeting FOR ME and told me about it when they took me to the park.. I didn't have a choice in that matter. If they really want me to talk to him, they could have kindly suggested that I talk to him instead of TELLING ME that I have a meeting with him....I don't want to go if they are going to take away my agency and make me go.

 

- The daughter

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7 minutes ago, yjacket said:

anatess, something else is going on here . . .this doesn't meet my sniff test.

I'm using all caps here for super extra very serious emphasis.  If this was my child this happened to, I will not rest easy until the leaders are removed or my child removed from under their leadership.  EVEN IF it comes out that my child is a lesbian!

EVEN IF it comes out that the daughter is a secret lesbian, MY VIEWS ARE THE SAME - THIS IS STILL A CHURCH LEADERSHIP ISSUE.  You do not go around the parent, take the daughter out on false pretenses and PARENT her outside of her home.  YOU DO NOT DO THAT UNLESS YOU HAVE IRREFUTABLE PROOF THAT THE PARENTS ARE NEGLIGENT

 

Edited by anatess2

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7 minutes ago, Lilyflowers88 said:

This is kind of disrespectful to talk about my daughter that way. No, it wasn't the best decision she has made, but I overall don't see anything wrong. She took the video down the next day. Only five or six of her friends had seen it. All female. 

I calls 'em like I see 'em-it is a dumb idea (not that you are dumb, just that the idea to allow a 16-17 year-old to do this is so, so dumb).  

Sorry to bust your bubble.  (the bold only according to her) LOL,ROFL, LOL.  really?? Okay, keep living in the social media dream world.  All it takes is 1 . . .just 1 person to record it and it is gone into the wild.  Not only that but Facebook and all the media organization have records of it (yes they keep digital copies of everything!).  You can use the "waybackmachine" to get snapshots of a website at a previous point in time.  Trust me, if someone wants it they can get it.  

Edited by yjacket

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5 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

I'm using all caps here for super extra very serious emphasis.  If this was my child this happened to, I will not rest easy until the leaders are removed or my child removed from under their leadership.  EVEN IF it comes out that my child is a lesbian!

EVEN IF it comes out that the daughter is a secret lesbian, MY VIEWS ARE THE SAME - THIS IS STILL A CHURCH LEADERSHIP ISSUE.  You do not go around the parent, take the daughter out on false pretenses and PARENT her outside of her home.  YOU DO NOT DO THAT UNLESS YOU HAVE IRREFUTABLE PROOF THAT THE PARENTS ARE ABUSING THE CHILD.

 

Anatess, we don't know what is going on.  You don't elevate directly to the Bishop without first talking to the leaders.  Find out what their version of the story is . . .then if necessary elevate.

My big beef here is that in today's society we believe the child over the leadership absolutely backwards.  Believe the adult/leadership first, if the story doesn't add up, then believe the child.

THIS is why kids grow-up entitled!!!!

It may not have been false pretenses. If it was go to the Bishop-but you won't know until you talk to the leadership first.

Dealing with a 16-17 year old kid . . .who are you going to believe the immature kid or the leadership?  That's why you find out from the leadership what happened then depending on what they say, how they say it if necessary elevate.  At the same time, discuss with child appropriate use of social media.

Edited by yjacket

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3 minutes ago, Lilyflowers88 said:

For everyone saying that we should set up a meeting with the bishop, those young women leaders were kind enough to set up a meeting FOR ME and told me about it when they took me to the park.. I didn't have a choice in that matter. If they really want me to talk to him, they could have kindly suggested that I talk to him instead of TELLING ME that I have a meeting with him....I don't want to go if they are going to take away my agency and make me go.

 

- The daughter

I don't think you understand. We're not suggesting that you need to talk to the Bishop. We think your Leaders were out of line. He needs to know what THEY are doing. They, not you, are the issue here.  Anatess explains it best. Read her posts again.

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Just now, yjacket said:

Anatess, we don't know what is going on.  You don't elevate directly to the Bishop without first talking to the leaders.  Find out what their version of the story is . . .then if necessary elevate.

My big beef here is that in today's society we believe the child over the leadership absolutely backwards.  Believe the adult/leadership first, if the story doesn't add up, then believe the child.

THIS is why kids grow-up entitled!!!!

This is all the version I need - They took my daughter out of my home on false pretenses and talked to her about her doing something inappropriate WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE NOR PRESENCE.  YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO MY CHILD.

UNLESS YOU'RE IMPLYING that LilyFlower is LYING and that the YW President brought up her child's behavior with her mother before taking her out of her home to talk to her about it then you have a point.  Otherwise, you have none.  If you, yjacket, does this kind of thing to my boys, YOU WILL BE MY ENEMY.  You do not know what I'm doing with my boys.  You do not know how I'm addressing these things with my boys.  I am the parent, you are not.  Do not assume I'm a moron who do not know how to raise children.  You have a problem with my boys, you talk to me.

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2 minutes ago, LiterateParakeet said:

I don't think you understand. We're not suggesting that you need to talk to the Bishop. We think your Leaders were out of line. He needs to know what THEY are doing. They, not you, are the issue here.  Anatess explains it best. Read her posts again.

Maybe they were out of line, maybe not.  Again, Lilyflowers hasn't even talked to the leadership to find out their version!!!  

My goodness, this is parenting 101, when your child comes how from school complaining about the teacher, the first thing you do is go to the teacher and talk to them.  You don't go straight to the principle.

This isn't an emergency situation that must be done TODAY!!! It needs to be addressed but there is time to do it right instead of going off half-cocked.

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The atrocity these leaders have committed is exactly why women don't have the priesthood. ;)

 

(Totally trolling, don't take me seriously, I myself know of priesthood holders who have done much much worse) ;)

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1 minute ago, yjacket said:

Maybe they were out of line, maybe not.  Again, Lilyflowers hasn't even talked to the leadership to find out their version!!! 

THAT'S ALL I NEED RIGHT THERE.  The leadership did not talk to her about it BEFORE they had that discussion with my daughter.  So, if you're taking the assumption that the daughter lied to her mother and that the leaders actually did not talk to her about it but went on their less-active route, then anything else is SERIOUS LEADERSHIP ERROR.

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I agree that the bishop be involved. And a note to the daughter who posted: we aren't suggesting you talk to the bishop, we are suggesting your parents go talk to the bishop. You may need to talk to your Bishop but only after your parents talk to them.

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Just now, anatess2 said:

This is all the version I need - They took my daughter out of my home on false pretenses and talked to her about her doing something inappropriate WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE NOR PRESENCE.  YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO MY CHILD.

UNLESS YOU'RE IMPLYING that LilyFlower is LYING 

Daggummit . . .I'm not implying that LilyFlower is lying.  REREAD WHAT I WROTE!!!!!

I'm implying that LilyFlower's daughter is a 16 year old immature drama queen who probably/maybe took things out of context and provided a bad story to her mother.  IF it went down like the daughter says it did, then it might be an issue.  My guess is that it did not go down like she said it did b/c teens are teens and especially girls are DRAMA QUEENS!!!

More importantly, the point missed here is that the actual behavior of the child (i.e. livestreaming on Facebook in a bathtub is inappropriate) 

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1 minute ago, yjacket said:

Maybe they were out of line, maybe not.  Again, Lilyflowers hasn't even talked to the leadership to find out their version!!!  

My goodness, this is parenting 101, when your child comes how from school complaining about the teacher, the first thing you do is go to the teacher and talk to them.  You don't go straight to the principle.

This isn't an emergency situation that must be done TODAY!!! It needs to be addressed but there is time to do it right instead of going off half-cocked.

There is not ONE clear way to deal with every situation. In some cases, I would agree with you, just not on this one.

 

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2 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

THAT'S ALL I NEED RIGHT THERE.  The leadership did not talk to her about it BEFORE they had that discussion with my daughter.  So, if you're taking the assumption that the daughter lied to her mother and that the leaders actually did not talk to her about it but went on their less-active route, then anything else is SERIOUS LEADERSHIP ERROR.

No, it is possible that this was a conversation they had; they might not have thought it was that big of a deal to talk to the parents about.  Anatess you are seeing blood here instead of taking the logical approach which is talk to the leadership first-then if necessary talk to the Bishop.  Why is this so blasted hard?

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