Had hour long convo and priesthood blessing from Stake President on plural marriage obsession on Sunday

[Guest]

The answer I got in the priesthood blessing may not be what you were expecting. I basically told my Stake President all my thoughts, obsession and desires and feelings for an hour about my mind being on plural marriage and how I had feelings about it regarding the next life ,but not this life and how I wanted to know if my desires were from the Holy Ghost and good or from Satan and bad so I hope to make this my last thread on the matter as he gave me a priesthood blessing. In the blessing I was actually told I have righteous desires in my heart on the subject and Heavenly Father is proud of me that I want a large family in the eternities and afterlife. I was told in my blessing that if I am worthy and God allows it, in the eternities I will be allowed to be assigned other companions to grow my eternal sacred family. I was told in the blessing that from here on I would be given the power to better recognize the Holy Ghost in my life which made me happy. So in conclusion I basically was told by Heavenly Father through my Stake President in a blessing that my desires all along were good and I actually have a chance if allowed in the next life to live plural marriage and that there would be no jealousy, only love. So my mind is finally settled on the matter. I do have an appointment with my therapist on Wednesday who is a Bishop himself so I will go over the blessing and hour long meeting I had with the Stake President but I believe my mind is finally settled on the matter.

To those who are upset by my answer I received and hate plural marriage, there was a part in the blessing that said plural marriage is not required for exaltation and an eternal family in the afterlife, but it is a factor in the eternities and many will be living it righteously. So all in all I need to stay righteous and have good godlike desires about the subject and not lust, which I found out I currently have godlike and approved desires on the subject so I'm feeling free finally as my mind had been weighing heavy on the subject like Joseph Smith's mind was as it described in the first verse of D&C 132 when the Lord talks about Joseph Smith's mind wondering about why God allowed Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David, and Solomon to have multiple wives. My mind was similar about wondering why God allowed all those and latter day people to live it. Also there's a part in my Patriarchal Blessing that hints about living it in the next life, but I can't share what exactly it says on here so that also triggered my interest.  So I finally talked to an authority figure about it and my mind is settled, but feel free to disagree or give your opinion on my blessing but I believe my Stake President is inspired and I believe priesthood blessings come from God. But again, plural marriage is not for everyone and not required, but I also found out I have righteous desires about the subject.

Edited April 17, 2017 by Zarahemla

[wenglund]

It might help to ask your therapist if obsessing about things in the distant future, and things that are somewhat outside your control at this time, may be a way of avoiding facing issues in your life today over which you have some control,  In other words, could it be a way of distracting attention away from facing current fears and/or longstanding unpleasantness? It is not uncommon to fixate elsewhere so we don't have to face the "demons" inside or in the mirror.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[Guest]

29 minutes ago, wenglund said:

It might help to ask your therapist if obsessing about things in the distant future, and things that are somewhat outside your control at this time, may be a way of avoiding facing issues in your life today over which you have some control,  In other words, could it be a way of distracting attention away from facing current fears and/or longstanding unpleasantness? It is not uncommon to fixate elsewhere so we don't have to face the "demons" inside or in the mirror.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

I'll ask! I've always my whole life thought about the finish line and that's how I set my life goals.

[Guest]

Ya it feels good to finally have closure on the topic and know that I don't have sinful thoughts on the topic, only righteous family desires as someone who loves eternal families and hates loneliness. I hope people aren't upset by my blessing answer because this was God's message directly for me personally. If you have questions on the topic I encourage you to either get a blessing from an authority figure or pray in the Celestial room of the temple and find your own individual answer for your eternal journey.

[Guest]

I originally wanted to escalate my meeting through my stake president to meet with apostle Dallin H Oaks since my stake president is friends with him and I've met him several times and he is sealed to 2 women and could answer but my stake president promised he knew what Elder Oaks would say and the blessing and convo satisfied me and I knew he was inspired.

[NeuroTypical]

5 hours ago, Zarahemla said:

Had hour long convo and priesthood blessing from Stake President
...
So my mind is finally settled on the matter.

Yay!  I'm glad for you, Z.  I also have had occasional long conversations with my priesthood leader, followed by a blessing, followed by peace.  

It's a good process - I wholeheartedly recommend it. 

Edited April 17, 2017 by NeuroTypical

[Guest MormonGator]

5 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Yay!  I'm glad for you, Z.  

Amen. Very glad things are looking up for you bro. 

[Guest]

Thanks. Basically also a big message I got is if I have these feelings for it about the next life only which I only feel positive about it for me for the next life then don't worry about it for the rest of this life unless the Lord and prophet command it.

[Guest]

And I do want to add one thing. I mainly have these thoughts about plural marriage because I'm single and never have been loved. If I find a girl in this life who is my loyal companion and completes me then I will choose monogamy. Plural marriage is more of a single person thought I've learned reserved for if I don't find someone in this life.

[Guest]

Can anyone who knows answer this question? Did marrying purely for love become a main thing in the 20th century? Does anyone know the history?

[person0]

5 minutes ago, Zarahemla said:

And I do want to add one thing. I mainly have these thoughts about plural marriage because I'm single and never have been loved. If I find a girl in this life who is my loyal companion and completes me then I will choose monogamy. Plural marriage is more of a single person thought I've learned reserved for if I don't find someone in this life.

You could try going for martyrdom and claim 72 virgins   Talk about plural marriage, that's the ticket to really 'big love' right there!  

2 minutes ago, Zarahemla said:

Can anyone who knows answer this question? Did marrying purely for love become a main thing in the 20th century? Does anyone know the history?

If you have 72, surely you will really love at least one of them 

Turns out there's just one problem. . . you aren't Muslim.

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, person0 said:

You could try going for martyrdom and claim 72 virgins   Talk about plural marriage, that's the ticket to really 'big love' right there!  

If you have 72, surely you will really love at least one of them 

Turns out there's just one problem. . . you aren't Muslim.

Hahaha ya I'm not Muslim. But I want live to be my main factor for marriage not just to get married like many throughout history have done.

[yjacket]

I'm very glad for you Z, I know this is something you have struggled with. I'm very glad that you were able to receive guidance from the One who can give it. God. No matter the struggles, no matter how long it takes-He will provide a way for us to overcome the problems and struggles we are dealing with. I'm very glad that you finally received what you need to carry on with life and not let this bog you down.

 

[pam]

I'm really happy for you that you have finally received some closure and feelings of peace regarding this.  I know it has been something that weighed very heavily on your mind,

[yjacket]

36 minutes ago, Zarahemla said:

Can anyone who knows answer this question? Did marrying purely for love become a main thing in the 20th century? Does anyone know the history?

Personally, I think it just came about because of an increase in wealth and productivity.  There are very beautiful modern day "love" stories in the Bible-but those stories generally correspond with individual who have great wealth. So I think not marrying purely for "love" was probably just a necessity and practicality.  100+ years ago, the vast majority of people lived in small-rural settings, there was no wide availability of suitors-so people probably weren't as "picky".  They saw someone who they were attracted to, figured they would make a good spouse and got married. Sex wasn't seen as a commodity, there was no "hook-up" culture and from a young age they were taught to get married and raise a family, etc. it was just what you did to ensure the survival of the species.

Interestingly enough, one thing we don't take into account today is people's smell.  It's been documented that the more your spouse is okay with and even likes your B.O. the more likely they will get along.  I think God gave us natural BO to help us naturally down-select proper mates-but that is JMO.

[Guest]

33 minutes ago, yjacket said:

Personally, I think it just came about because of an increase in wealth and productivity.  There are very beautiful modern day "love" stories in the Bible-but those stories generally correspond with individual who have great wealth. So I think not marrying purely for "love" was probably just a necessity and practicality.  100+ years ago, the vast majority of people lived in small-rural settings, there was no wide availability of suitors-so people probably weren't as "picky".  They saw someone who they were attracted to, figured they would make a good spouse and got married. Sex wasn't seen as a commodity, there was no "hook-up" culture and from a young age they were taught to get married and raise a family, etc. it was just what you did to ensure the survival of the species.

Interestingly enough, one thing we don't take into account today is people's smell.  It's been documented that the more your spouse is okay with and even likes your B.O. the more likely they will get along.  I think God gave us natural BO to help us naturally down-select proper mates-but that is JMO.

Thanks for the info I was looking for.

[NeuroTypical]

2 hours ago, Zarahemla said:

Can anyone who knows answer this question? Did marrying purely for love become a main thing in the 20th century? Does anyone know the history?

 

[Guest]

No, it as been a very old concept.  Take a look at Jacob.  But it is only in the past couple centuries that arranged marriages and political marriages have been done away with.  And it has only been in the past few decades that shotgun weddings are almost a thing of the past.

Once upon a time it was a wise woman who considered marrying a man who was financially successful instead of a bum.  But today, such are called "gold-diggers" (or worse).

So, today, we expect all marriages to be for love.

Edited April 18, 2017 by Guest

[Guest]

 I pray I can find a girl and marry in this life.

Edited April 19, 2017 by Zarahemla

[anatess2]

3 hours ago, Zarahemla said:

Can anyone who knows answer this question? Did marrying purely for love become a main thing in the 20th century? Does anyone know the history?

Well... define LOVE.

This is the real answer - the definition of LOVE changed over time.

In the old days, desiring a family (marriage) through benefit (property, connections, power, etc.) is an act of Love.  The man desiring to protect a woman, produce offspring, offer his resources, give his name, etc. is an act of Love.  The woman desiring to run a man's household, offer her resources, bear his children, etc. is an act of Love.  Sexual gratification was low on the list of Love actions.  Those are mainly Lust actions unless engaged in for the benefit of offspring.

In the modern days of hedonistic sexual gratification... people started to replace the word Love for Sex so much so that in today's modern incarnation of marriage, to say that 2 men cannot marry each other is somehow preventing those men from Love because... in the modern definition, Love is who you want to have sex with.

[Guest MormonGator]

7 minutes ago, Zarahemla said:

\ I pray I can find a girl and marry in this life.

We are all praying for you as well my friend. 

[Mike]

3 hours ago, Zarahemla said:

Can anyone who knows answer this question? Did marrying purely for love become a main thing in the 20th century? Does anyone know the history?

I can't speak to the question. But if it only became a main thing in the 20th century, I'm feeling glad I was born in the 20th century. Of course this doesn't mean I discount the possibility that people can fall in love after they marry. Moreover, I don't think marrying purely for love is a problem at all. I suspect the problems that arise are often a result of the parties *not* being in love and not knowing the difference between love and some other things. 

Edited April 18, 2017 by Mike

[Guest]

39 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

We are all praying for you as well my friend. 

Thanks man. It says I will in my patriarchal blessing so I have to have faith and be more active dating.

[Guest MormonGator]

3 minutes ago, Zarahemla said:

Thanks man. It says I will in my patriarchal blessing so I have to have faith and be more active dating.

Just wait till the right one comes along brother. You do not want to make a mistake of that magnitude. 

[wenglund]

5 hours ago, Zarahemla said:

I mainly have these thoughts about plural marriage because I'm single and never have been loved.

That is insightful. I suspected as much, which is why I said what I did earlier. It may be healthy to face those deep hurts with your therapist, and work towards healing resolutions. .As one who is older and never married, I can somewhat relate to your circumstances. And, I have found that filling the emptiness isn't easy, but it can be done by transitioning from a mindset of needing to be loved, to one of needing to give love wherever and to one and all. All the best to you.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-