talked to Bishop


jewels8
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I know Bishops can be inspired, and i am not trying to say  anything wrong.  So, I talked to my Bishop about this man who was staring at me in the church halls for over a long period of time and the somewhat chastizing letter his wife sent, and he tells me she meant nothing by it, that he had told him he hadn't stared at me and bishop says I was irrational.  Am I the only one who thinks its perfectly normal to wonder what is going on when you had been repeatedly stared at and chastized for no good reason?  Am I wrong to wonder if their is some favortism since his family is in the bishopbric?  And to be treated sensitively?  Not that he wasn't somewhat, but goodness, this is ridiculous.

 

Edited by jewels8
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P.S.  He had talked to both of them and he said he would talk to his counselor again.  He accused me of accusing him, but i was only sharing the facts and my perception, also sharing that I understand I could have been wrong.  Bishop did seem to be a little nicer after that.  But still, what rules are there for how a Judge in Israel should be.  I had already expressed I regretted to them and the Bishop that I was sharing this situation.  Don't my feelings   and experience matter?

 

 

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I had a brother rub himself up against me - in church - on two separate occasions- two months apart. I reported this to the bishop. Mr rubber has had many decades of sexual misconduct. The bishop got my message, expressed surprise and two weeks later made this man part of the presidency of elders quorum. Mr rubber passes the sacrament most Sundays. 

They don't get it. In their minds it is 1970!

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1 minute ago, jewels8 said:

P.S.  He had talked to both of them and he said he would talk to his counselor again.  He accused me of accusing him, but i was only sharing the facts and my perception, also sharing that I understand I could have been wrong.  Bishop did seem to be a little nicer after that.  But still, what rules are there for how a Judge in Israel should be.  I had already expressed I regretted to them and the Bishop that I was sharing this situation.  Don't my feelings   and experience matter?

 

 

Ignore them. Forgive them. The Lord will have to explain it to them in the next life. Don't waste your time fretting about it. No there is no teaching them! Leave it to the Lord!

i was sexually assaulted in front of my Laurel president. She laughed. I reported her behaviour to my bishop. He point blank called me a liar. About two years later this woman completely lost her marbles. Became stark raving mad. By the way, her children complained to anyone who would listen. No one did. In fact the stake president told the 14 year old daughter that it was her responsibility to control her mother. Yeah those kids have scars. 

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If he rubs you again, say, "Don't touch me" just loud enough for someone else to hear it and move on. If he touches you again, even weeks or months down the road, say, "Why do you keep touching me?" Again, just loud enough for someone else to hear. Make eye contact with that someone if you can. Let the bishop know before filing a police report against the rubber if you feel it necessary.

When I was 20, there was a guy (obviously mentally unstable at best, as he wore a Kippah and genuflected before entering a pew each week) at least 30 who sat down next to me and struck up a conversation. In that conversation, he complimented me on my "pretty face" and asked how old I was. When I answered, he was shocked to find I was over 16. Thankfully there was an empty nester couple who had overheard the previous conversation. In my avoiding eye contact with the creeper, I had caught the wife's eye, and she waved me across the chapel to sit with them, even though I hardly knew their names. 

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7 hours ago, seashmore said:

If he rubs you again, say, "Don't touch me"

This whole notion of tolerating repeated, inappropriate physical contact with nothing more than a verbal response baffles me.  Slap him and / or knee him, and when he looks shocked, say, "What's wrong?  I thought you wanted physical contact."

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15 minutes ago, zil said:

This whole notion of tolerating repeated, inappropriate physical contact with nothing more than a verbal response baffles me.  Slap him and / or knee him, and when he looks shocked, say, "What's wrong?  I thought you wanted physical contact."

Reminds me of this story related by Boyd K. Packer about a time when a missionary made sexual advances toward his companion:

Quote

While I was in a mission on one occasion, a missionary said he had something to confess. I was very worried because he just could not get himself to tell me what he had done.
After patient encouragement he finally blurted out, “I hit my companion.”
“Oh, is that all,” I said in great relief.
But I floored him,” he said.
After learning a little more, my response was “Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn’t be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way.”
I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must protect yourself.

(Message to Young Men - Video - lds.org)          (Internet Archived Text)

I agree with the counsel in this section as it pertains protecting ones self from the unwanted sexual advances of another.  Especially when those unwanted interactions occur repeatedly.  If Captain Moroni and other righteous military leaders of old were able to lead men in battle and kill thousands in a righteous capacity in order to preserve their freedoms, family's, land, religion, etc, I see no difference in protecting ones temple by an appropriate level of physical force.

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Jewels8, sorry your experience wasn't what you had hoped.  Although you indicate the bishop treated you somewhat sensitively, and he was 'a little nicer' to you afterwords.  And that he brought both of them in and talked to them about it.

Did the bishop really use the phrase "you are being irrational"?

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@jewels8,

If it really does bother you that much, you can ask to be reassigned to a different ward due to such difficulties.  Such would be akin to circumstances such as a divorced couple living in the same ward boundaries, where one is allowed to be assigned to a different ward.

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The bishop did say I needed to not be irrational.  I think that was before he understood more of what was going on.  Its ok.  I think things will work out with us all in the same ward. It has been an eye opener and learning experience for me.  But thank you, I do appreciate everyone's help.

 

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13 hours ago, jewels8 said:

The bishop did say I needed to not be irrational.  I think that was before he understood more of what was going on.  Its ok.  I think things will work out with us all in the same ward. It has been an eye opener and learning experience for me.  But thank you, I do appreciate everyone's help.

 

Jewel, I'm mildly curious but you don't need to expand on it for my sake... I just can't be sure I understood what you said in your OP.

So this member of the bishopric kept staring at you so his wife sent you a letter chastising you for... what?  Being present for her husband to stare at?  I'm not quite sure I understand.

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She sent me a letter that said I needed to cherish my family, not be negative, and find out what I am good at, among some other things.  She did put some nice things in to, but I thought she may have been sending it because of any concern she may have had that her husband was staring at me.  I could have been wrong as to what her intent was, I don't think she meant to come across the wrong way, but I don't know why she would send something like that if she didn't have some kind of concern about me.  She later said that she didn't mean it to come across that way, and that she was just thinking of something different than what I thought of, but her explanation didn't seem to make a lot of sense to me.  Anyways, its all water under the bridge now.  I don't know how much she knew about what her husband was doing and if she thought I had something to do with it, but i don't know why anyone would send a letter like that unless they had some other reason that they may not want to admit to.

 

 

 

 

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