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     The missionaries have missed or rescheduled meetings, usually not telling us until they are already late.  Is this normal?  It's frustrating, to say the least.  I've been talking to the "chat missionaries", but it's not quite the same.

Thoughts?  Suggestions?  I don't even know what my goals are.  I'm just interested in learning more.  I've been reading the Book of Mormon and many articles online.  I don't have any particular questions at this point.  I suppose I just wanted to see what they had to share.  They call to set an appointment, then don't make it.  It could be that it just stinks for them because I live in the boonies.

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Missionaries are like anyone else - some are good at managing time, some aren't.  I recommend pointing out your frustration and asking them to try harder to respect your time, and to not set appointments they aren't sure they can keep.

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While it is not preferable that this would work, in addition to what zil said, if you invite them for dinner and lesson together, they will probably show up because most missionaries love food.  :D

Edit: Also, once again not preferable, nor an excuse, but the fact that you are uncertain about your goals in regards to learning more could pose an issue.  Missionaries are instructed to give higher priority to individuals who have indicated that they are willing to commit to being baptized once they receive a spiritual confirmation of the truth of the Book of Mormon and the restored gospel by the power of the Holy Ghost.  If you are not yet willing to make this commitment, or if they are unaware of your internal willingness, they might be prioritizing other meetings/individuals.

Edited by person0

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Tell them what you told us here.

They are probably ~19 year olds who bad at managing time.  If you don't let them know it's upsetting you (and you're 100% justified being upset-- their behavior is irresponsible). then they won't realize it's a problem and hence are unlikely to fix it.

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38 minutes ago, person0 said:

While it is not preferable that this would work, in addition to what zil said, if you invite them for dinner and lesson together, they will probably show up because most missionaries love food.  :D

Edit: Also, once again not preferable, nor an excuse, but the fact that you are uncertain about your goals in regards to learning more could pose an issue.  Missionaries are instructed to give higher priority to individuals who have indicated that they are willing to commit to being baptized once they receive a spiritual confirmation of the truth of the Book of Mormon and the restored gospel by the power of the Holy Ghost.  If you are not yet willing to make this commitment, or if they are unaware of your internal willingness, they might be prioritizing other meetings/individuals.

I don't know how they could expect me to with only one meeting.  Every other one has been skipped.  Any knowledge I've gained is because I'm hungry for it and searching it out.  I think I'm frustrated more because I'm interested and trying to learn than I am for the inconvenience of missed appointments.

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7 minutes ago, Grunt said:

I don't know how they could expect me to with only one meeting.  Every other one has been skipped.  Any knowledge I've gained is because I'm hungry for it and searching it out.  I think I'm frustrated more because I'm interested and trying to learn than I am for the inconvenience of missed appointments.

Yeah, they are not behaving as they should be at all.  Tell them what you told us.

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It shouldn't be normal.

5 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Tell them what you told us here.

They are probably ~19 year olds who bad at managing time.  If you don't let them know it's upsetting you (and you're 100% justified being upset-- their behavior is irresponsible). then they won't realize it's a problem and hence are unlikely to fix it.

Ditto.

@Grunt If at all possible (you mentioned living in the boonies) attend a sacrament meeting on Sunday. You can find info on times and locations here if the missionaries haven't given you any. Twofold reasoning for that suggestion. (1) It alerts the missionaries that you're serious about learning more. (2) Odds are, someone will introduce themselves to you and/or see you talking with the missionaries, which gives the elders more of a sense of accountability for meeting with you.

 

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4 hours ago, seashmore said:

It shouldn't be normal.

Ditto.

@Grunt If at all possible (you mentioned living in the boonies) attend a sacrament meeting on Sunday. You can find info on times and locations here if the missionaries haven't given you any. Twofold reasoning for that suggestion. (1) It alerts the missionaries that you're serious about learning more. (2) Odds are, someone will introduce themselves to you and/or see you talking with the missionaries, which gives the elders more of a sense of accountability for meeting with you.

 

1

Is the sacrament first?  They said the services were three hours long with three different parts.  I think they said one hour is the sacrament and the other two were something else.  I know "service" starts at 10, but I'm not quite sure if that is sacrament.

Edited to add:  Never mind, I see where it says "sacrament meets first".  Would I be insulting if I went to listen to the sacrament today and then left?  I have to work later.

Edited by Grunt

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12 minutes ago, Grunt said:

Would I be insulting if I went to listen to the sacrament today and then left?  I have to work later.

No, it would not be insulting.

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18 minutes ago, Grunt said:

Is the sacrament first?  They said the services were three hours long with three different parts.  I think they said one hour is the sacrament and the other two were something else.  I know "service" starts at 10, but I'm not quite sure if that is sacrament.

Edited to add:  Never mind, I see where it says "sacrament meets first".  Would I be insulting if I went to listen to the sacrament today and then left?  I have to work later.

I have to do the same thing today!

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3 hours ago, Grunt said:

Is the sacrament first?  They said the services were three hours long with three different parts.  I think they said one hour is the sacrament and the other two were something else.  I know "service" starts at 10, but I'm not quite sure if that is sacrament.

Edited to add:  Never mind, I see where it says "sacrament meets first".  Would I be insulting if I went to listen to the sacrament today and then left?  I have to work later.

(Echoing the chorus)

Nope.  That's 100% ok.

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     It was very personal and informal.  I stayed for the sacrament and basic principles class.  It was odd to see people knitting, kids whispering, etc during sacrament.   Not in a disrespectful way, just nobody seemed to care. It reminded me of a family dinner or reunion.   I liked the atmosphere.  

The breakout was just people talking about the stated topic.  We all introduced ourselves, but as I stated I live in a very rural area.  I'm sure the introductions were for me.  There only 6 people in the break out.  We watched a video then discussed it briefly before the hour was up.  Then I went home.  

     It was a favorable impression, but too early to tell.  They certainly weren't aftaid to broach controversial topics and put it all on "front street" without being asked.  I enjoyed what I heard and liked everyone I met.  

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41 minutes ago, Grunt said:

     It was very personal and informal.  I stayed for the sacrament and basic principles class.  It was odd to see people knitting, kids whispering, etc during sacrament.   Not in a disrespectful way, just nobody seemed to care. It reminded me of a family dinner or reunion.   I liked the atmosphere.  

The breakout was just people talking about the stated topic.  We all introduced ourselves, but as I stated I live in a very rural area.  I'm sure the introductions were for me.  There only 6 people in the break out.  We watched a video then discussed it briefly before the hour was up.  Then I went home.  

     It was a favorable impression, but too early to tell.  They certainly weren't aftaid to broach controversial topics and put it all on "front street" without being asked.  I enjoyed what I heard and liked everyone I met.  

Sounds exactly like what you'd experience in any / every Mormon ward. :) 

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5 hours ago, Grunt said:

     It was very personal and informal.  I stayed for the sacrament and basic principles class.  It was odd to see people knitting, kids whispering, etc during sacrament.   Not in a disrespectful way, just nobody seemed to care. It reminded me of a family dinner or reunion.   I liked the atmosphere.  

:) I do Sudoku during Sacrament Meeting.  My daughter (3) colors and (hopefully) whispers to me when she wants things... or screams at the top of her lungs, depending on the day *blush*

5 hours ago, Grunt said:

The breakout was just people talking about the stated topic.  We all introduced ourselves, but as I stated I live in a very rural area.  I'm sure the introductions were for me.  There only 6 people in the break out.  We watched a video then discussed it briefly before the hour was up.  Then I went home.  

The break-out discussion style is standard.  Introductions are usually pretty standard- in my congregation we have introductions every week during Sunday School (2nd hour of church) and again women's meeting (3rd hour).  Then again I live in a high-turner over area so there's constantly new people.  It's also pretty rural (welcome to Wyoming!).   

5 hours ago, Grunt said:

 It was a favorable impression, but too early to tell.  They certainly weren't aftaid to broach controversial topics and put it all on "front street" without being asked.  I enjoyed what I heard and liked everyone I met.  

Awesome!  

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8 hours ago, Grunt said:

     It was very personal and informal.  I stayed for the sacrament and basic principles class.  It was odd to see people knitting, kids whispering, etc during sacrament.   Not in a disrespectful way, just nobody seemed to care. It reminded me of a family dinner or reunion.   I liked the atmosphere.  

The breakout was just people talking about the stated topic.  We all introduced ourselves, but as I stated I live in a very rural area.  I'm sure the introductions were for me.  There only 6 people in the break out.  We watched a video then discussed it briefly before the hour was up.  Then I went home.  

     It was a favorable impression, but too early to tell.  They certainly weren't aftaid to broach controversial topics and put it all on "front street" without being asked.  I enjoyed what I heard and liked everyone I met.  

Glad to hear you enjoyed yourself. I enjoy the relaxed and respectful atmosphere I've found in most LDS sacrament meetings. The kids provide a distraction that helps me focus. If I'm going through a particularly anxious time, I'll take some crochet or doodle/write to channel the anxiety so I can focus on the messages.

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I've only ever encountered this once. I did my best surfer accent and said "Woah, dudes! Dinner was like at 5, and we had steak! I totally thought you weren't coming, so I grubbed, oh man, bummer". I saw they were disappointed, I laughed at them and told them to be on time next time, we fed them as we did wait for them, but I had to mess with them. Then I teased them as to if they owned working watches, I even asked them if they were going to be late for church. I totally ribbed them I mean laughing the whole time, they were prompt thereafter. I guess my brash sense of humor worked. I really did mess with them about it the whole time they were here.  Fast forward, they are still friends a few years later, married, kids,  the works. I love those guys. 

Time management, you'd think it would be easier! Ho hum....

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4 minutes ago, Grunt said:

I'm so not used to that.  We were always expected to be silent and attentive.  

Ideally everyone would be. But everyone is at a different level of spirituality and maturity, etc., so you get a range. No one's going to kick someone out or yell at them for not being attentive or respectful. But, of course, ideally, as I said, everyone would be.

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2 minutes ago, Grunt said:

I'm so not used to that.  We were always expected to be silent and attentive.  

I understand totally. Sadly, many of us (and I speak only for myself) have a serious case of ADD (I take medication for it) and need the distractions. I've gotten a few frowns of disapproval for it, for sure. 

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25 minutes ago, Grunt said:

I'm so not used to that.  We were always expected to be silent and attentive.  

For the record, Latter-day Saints are also encouraged to be silent and attentive. Clearly, not all do so. And when you have a 70-minute meeting that you are expected to sit through with your small children, allowances must be made.

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40 minutes ago, Grunt said:

I'm so not used to that.  We were always expected to be silent and attentive.  

A couple of disjointed thoughts--

--For me, doing my Sudoku actually greatly increases my attentiveness.  It gives my hands something to do, but requires zero brain power so I'm actually really listening.  I take notes & write down my thoughts in the margins (since I literally have pen and paper in hand already), which furthers my listening and retention of things.  My pile of Sodukus become a journal of spiritual thoughts and insights, which I can look back on (it's super awesome).    

-- @Grunt, the services you attended previously at whatever denomination: did they have kids in the main service, or did the kids go off to a different service?  

I find this makes a huge difference.  I've noticed that denominations which have "worship time = family time" mentality tend to be much louder.  Frankly, if you're a mom sitting with kids ages 9, 5, 3, and 2 months, things are realistically only going to be so quiet.  But if it's a room of only adults, then you can get things much quieter-- like if you attend a LDS singles congregation (aka there's no kids) things are freaky quiet.

Edited by Jane_Doe

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