Future Preparations of the Church Against Pornography?

[clbent04]

I am an advocate for seeing the church dedicate more resources to the battle of pornography.  What is the church currently doing, and what can it do better to tackle this epidemic?  This must be a regular discussion among the executive leadership of the church.  The brethren must be constantly praying to God for additional guidance on how to best curtail this onslaught of filth we see affecting members today.

MORE THAN A THIRD OF THE MEN IN THE CHURCH HAVE PROBLEMS WITH PORNOGRAPHY.  This is a plague.  How can we be more effective in helping prevent pornography's ever-growing influence on our members?

From the perspective of a lowly, inactive member of the church who has been affected by pornography for 20 years (ultimately being the reason of my inactivity), I would like to offer some ideas:

1. Whatever resources the church is currently employing, increase it by ten-fold if not more!

2. Every ward should have a designated pornography support group held on a weekly basis (yes, the need is that great, just looks at the percentages of those affected)

3. Every ward should have a calling for a male member to be appointed to anti-pornography leader who leads the weekly group meetings

4. Children should first be warned of the evil of pornography beginning when they are 10 years old

5. More Firesides and special events should be held specifically to address the evil of pornography

6. Education of how the human brain works and it's susceptibility to pornographic addictions should be introduced (combine psychological knowledge with doctrinal knowledge and attack it from both ends)

7. Help members become more open about this problem.  Why do we have designated AA groups established across our wards, but we don't have pornography addiction support groups?  Could it be no one wants to show up to something that is embarrassing and hardly ever admitted to among other members?  I'm willing to make the bet we have more pornography addicts in the church than we do alcoholics, yet most of the support groups are for the alcoholics. How does that make sense? We need a change of perspective in feeling the importance of leaning on one another outweigh the shame of admitting to being addicted to pornography

Sincerely,

Someone who hopes to see and be a part of this or a similar movement some day

 

Edited August 20, 2017 by clbent04

[BeccaKirstyn]

I created a thread awhile back about my YSA ward having a pornography lesson during a combined third hour, in which it didn't necessarily end "well". But I was talking with my bishop a few days ago about that lesson and he said that the stake and other ward leaders would be implementing more lessons on this topic. He spoke about having separate RS and EQ lessons on it, and then combining again another week after those separate lessons are held. 

He's very adamant about making this a more common topic of conversation, so I can assume our ward (and maybe even our stake--a YSA stake) will be having pornography lessons/firesides more often. 

Edited August 20, 2017 by BeccaKirstyn

[clbent04]

16 minutes ago, BeccaKirstyn said:

He's very adamant about making this a more common topic of conversation, so I can assume our ward (and maybe even our stake--a YSA stake) will be having pornography lessons/firesides more often. 

I really want to an initiative implemented from the First Presidency. I am thinking about writing them a letter with some of my ideas. I don't want to undermine them saying I know a better way (especially considering they're the ones receiving revelation for the body of the church), but I think they find member feedback helpful to be able to prayerfully consider the needs of the church

Edited August 20, 2017 by clbent04

[Sunday21]

@clbent04. I suspect that the first presidency receive many letters on diverse subjects, some of which contain advice. I further suspect that the letters containing advice are dealt with by a secretary and that the advice goes nowhere near the presidency.

Why not pray that those who suffer from this problem will be strengthened?

Edited August 20, 2017 by Sunday21

[clbent04]

5 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

I further suspect that the letters containing advice are dealt with by a secretary and that the advice goes nowhere near the presidency.

Hopefully this is not the case on all accounts. I would like to think the First Presidency likes to know the opinions of its members even if only to appease the members with acknowledgement.  The church is not a democracy, but when the need of one member becomes the need of many, I would think the Lord would want the First Presidency to give a listening ear to what those needs may be

[Sunday21]

3 minutes ago, clbent04 said:

Hopefully this is not the case on all accounts. I would like to think the First Presidency likes to know the opinions of its members even if only to appease the members with acknowledgement.  The church is not a democracy, but when the need of one member becomes the need of many, I would think the Lord would want the First Presidency to give a listening ear to what those needs may be

We have 15 million members. Imagine the volume of mail. I suspect that there is a crew of secretaries who read the letters and pass on a subset to the addressee. The secretaries might provide a weekly summary and file the actual corresondence by subject. 

[clbent04]

24 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

We have 15 million members. Imagine the volume of mail. I suspect that there is a crew of secretaries who read the letters and pass on a subset to the addressee. The secretaries might provide a weekly summary and file the actual correspondence by subject. 

When 1/3 of the males of the church are affected by viewing pornography, a sin that violates the most serious and sacred Law of Chasity, do you not think the Lord is already actively communicating with the brethren to reveal further measures?  Do you really think the Lord is okay with our current status? Does the church not evolve to fight off new threats that weren't as prevalent as before? Has substance abuse always been addressed by the church? Was alcohol always restricted?

I would be very surprised if we don't see something very soon with the church revealing additional measures against pornography. Yes, my letter to the church may prove futile in changing the Lord's timing on when, if ever, additional measures are to be instituted, but the Lord does listen to the needs of his children, and he collectively considers what would benefit us the most in helping secure our salvation. So maybe I should just pray to God and leave it at that? But part of me feels impressed to write the letter even if it just gets thrown in the trash

Edited August 20, 2017 by clbent04

[Snigmorder]

I've had a masturbation addiction for 17 years and a pornography addiction for 8 years. During this time I've done the pornography equivalent of progression from weaker to stronger drugs.

 I can't speak for the addiction recovery program, though I have gone to a couple meetings. But I can say this, Ether 12:27 is true.

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

The easiest time I ever had abstaining from pornography was during a particular incident which lasted three weeks. I finally admitted and believed after years of trying to quit that I could not escape pornography and that I was trapped, I cried out as it were. I guess my humility was sufficient because my burden was made light and had no desire to sin.

But this all ended due to my own neglect and failure to maintain that level of humility and faith. Pride and hardness begin to set in again and I fell back into old habits. I made the mistake of proceeding as though I could get by without grace.

This three weeks wasn't the longest I had ever abstained. But it was unlike any of the other periods of abstinence, there was a breakthrough. I know this can't happen again and I know that it can be forevermore, I'm just not there yet. I'm getting there.

Prayer is probably the most important thing. You get on your knees and you stay there until you are humble and have made communication. 

"And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save." -2 Nephi 31:19

[person0]

1 hour ago, clbent04 said:

. . . what can it do better to tackle this epidemic?

The likely answer is nothing.  There is probably nothing better the Church as a whole can do in addition to the many things already being done. Defeating pornography starts with parents teaching their children the doctrine, the why.  From there it is up to each of us individually to use any available resources, and also especially our relationship with Christ, to protect, avoid, forsake, and diminish the influence of pornography in our lives.  I believe the GA's have dealt with these issues for long enough that they have and/or will implement what they receive by revelation to be the best.

Also, in my area, everything on your list already exists except for #3 and #5.  Perhaps if a wonderful brother like yourself became fully active again and made these suggestions you could potentially achieve them, and even help build them.  Remember this:

Quote

27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
(Ether 12:27)

The power is in you through Christ, together, to not only overcome, but to develop special strength in this area and use it to to help others.

Edited August 20, 2017 by person0

[clbent04]

25 minutes ago, person0 said:

The power is in you through Christ, together, to not only overcome, but to develop special strength in this area and use it to to help others.

Thanks @person0

[my two cents]

@clbent04 - I commend you for wanting to do something about this and I'm sorry this issue is something you've struggled with. Here's my take:

~ What you (generic) focus on, grows / Focus on what you (generic) want, not on what you don't (ie instead of 'anti-porn leaders' > 'morality coach').

~ I think parents need to be told flat out how this starts/continues even if it runs the risk of them not liking what they hear.

~ Kids are not given tools to deal with loneliness, self-pity, stress...

~ Kids are not taught about sex so they go looking at the library for info and the world teaches things contrary to what the Church does but since it comes from 'experts'...

~ People need to be told that they are being used by Satan's minions. They don't have have bodies and clamor to use yours to satisfy their appetites.

~ People need to put the promises made by the GA's to the test. There are quotes that say family history work is a protection. Believe them and get busy.

Edited August 20, 2017 by my two cents

[Grunt]

1 minute ago, my two cents said:

@clbent04 - I commend you for wanting to do something about this and I'm sorry this issue is something you've struggled with. Here's my take:

~ What you (generic) focus on, grows / Focus on what you (generic) want, not on what you don't (ie instead of 'anti-porn leaders' > 'morality coach').

~ I think parents need to be told flat out how this starts/continues even if it runs the risk of them not liking what they hear.

~ Kids are not given tools to deal with loneliness, self-pity, stress...

~ Kids are not taught about sex so they go looking at the library for info and the world teaches things contrary to what the Church does but since it comes from 'experts'...

~ People need to be told that they are being used by Satan's minions. They don't have have bodies and clamor to use yours to satisfy their appetites.

~ People need to put the promises made by the GA's to the test. There are quotes that say family history work is a protection. Believe it and get busy.

Are many of those things people don't already know?  I can see how the church could help with this, but it almost seems like people expect the church to fix it, or they are at fault for not correcting the issue.  What do Mormons view the role of the church to be?  

-The church could start a support group, but those already exist.  

-Aren't parents tasked with raising their children and being their morality coaches?  Perhaps the church could provide education to parents on how to properly address this from early ages.

-Isn't a child developing tools to deal with loneliness, self-pity, and stress part of growing up?  I submit that part of the problem children have today is we've given them too much. We haven't provided them the foundation and support then stepped back and let them develop their own coping mechanisms.  We've tried to protect them from every bump and bruise, thus creating a generation of children who can't cope unless we do it for them.

I believe in some ways churches become over-protective parents to their flock.  As a result, their flock depends on the church to fix their problems and blames the flock for their own spiritual failures.  I think this thread is a good example of it.  The tools to combat pornography addictions ARE out there if people choose to take advantage of them.  If someone truly wants to quit pornography they can.  They just have to want to badly enough, because it requires sacrifice.

 

On a side note, I saw a mention of masturbation addiction.  I understand addiction of any sort is wrong but is masturbation forbidden?  Based upon what?

[Midwest LDS]

@Grunt It's forbidden by modern revelation. Here is one example (among many) from the handbook duties and blessings of the priesthood https://www.lds.org/manual/duties-and-blessings-of-the-priesthood-basic-manual-for-priesthood-holders-part-a/gospel-principles-and-doctrines/lesson-34-moral-cleanliness?lang=eng&_r=1. Essentially it's the abuse of the sacred powers of procreation.

Edited August 20, 2017 by Midwest LDS

[Midwest LDS]

I think the church is doing a lot to combat this. Not only do you have an entire addiction recovery book designed around combating this evil, you have addiction recovery groups, bishops and stake presidents to speak with, general conference talks, stake conference talks, priesthood meetings on the subject, ppi's etc. I think the real change has to come from parents in my opinion. We can't assume our children won't be exposed to pornography. We have to discuss this problem with them in depth much earlier because if we don't the world will. We need to monitor their internet connections because curiosity can lead to an all consuming habit very quickly if we don't. Finally we need our kids to be able to talk to us if they do slip up so we can help them repent before it becomes an entrenched addiction. I think that's the best way to combat this plague. Pornography thrives in darkness. By throwing it into the light we can cause it to wither and die but as long as we are too ashamed to discuss it openly, Satan will use that darkness to ensnare the hearts of our men and women with these chains.

Edited August 20, 2017 by Midwest LDS

[Midwest LDS]

I suppose the only thing I would change with the church is on the ward/branch level rather than church wide and this is something we all can affect personally. We have to stop being embarrassed by the Law of Chastity lessons and teach them openly and frankly. Open discussion between members would help combat this and we can do this in our own wards. In addition, always include a discussion about the saving grace of Jesus Christ in these discussions. Too many give up hope when they are consumed with this addiction, and a focus on how there are so many avenues of help available to them through His power would be very helpful.

[my two cents]

1 hour ago, Grunt said:

Are many of those things people don't already know?  I can see how the church could help with this, but it almost seems like people expect the church to fix it, or they are at fault for not correcting the issue.  What do Mormons view the role of the church to be?  

I do feel it's the parents job and it's not the Church's fault. The role of the Church is to support parents.

-The church could start a support group, but those already exist.  

Agree

-Aren't parents tasked with raising their children and being their morality coaches?  Perhaps the church could provide education to parents on how to properly address this from early ages.

'Morality Coach' was in response to the op's suggestion. The approach matters and he may want to make some adjustments.

-Isn't a child developing tools to deal with loneliness, self-pity, and stress part of growing up?  I submit that part of the problem children have today is we've given them too much. We haven't provided them the foundation and support then stepped back and let them develop their own coping mechanisms.  We've tried to protect them from every bump and bruise, thus creating a generation of children who can't cope unless we do it for them.

I have a friend who's husband had had an issue with porn. She said it started around 12 when his mom went to work 'since all the kids were now in school'. He was lonely but wasn't given tools to deal with it and with no supervision ...

Sorry if I wasn't clear in the previous post but hope this helps clarify a bit.

[Grunt]

2 minutes ago, my two cents said:

Sorry if I wasn't clear in the previous post but hope this helps clarify a bit.

Thanks.  You were very clear and I agreed with much of it.  

Much of this stems from my lack of complete acceptance of "modern revelation".

One of the things that bothers me about much of this is the constant theme of "body is a sacred temple" as a reason why many of these things are sinful.  Why is obesity ignored?  Either we pick and choose or it just SEEMS that way because those are the issues brought up on this board.  I suppose that is the most obvious answer, since I don't hear people talking about any WoW violations when I'm at church.  I wonder how they choose what is or isn't important for a temple recommend.

[my two cents]

4 minutes ago, Grunt said:

One of the things that bothers me about much of this is the constant theme of "body is a sacred temple" as a reason why many of these things are sinful.  Why is obesity ignored?  Either we pick and choose or it just SEEMS that way because those are the issues brought up on this board.  I suppose that is the most obvious answer, since I don't hear people talking about any WoW violations when I'm at church.  I wonder how they choose what is or isn't important for a temple recommend.

I don't want to sidetrack but fwiw - obesity is more complicated than people realize. There are many underlying factors that could be at play. I don't know anyone who likes being overweight but they struggle with things the eye can't see so I think some compassion is in order.

[my two cents]

1 hour ago, Grunt said:

Are many of those things people don't already know?
 

You would think but just a couple years ago, at the end of a lesson on chastity the newish RS president said something incredibly naive. Something along the lines of not understanding how a wife can be surprised by a husband's porn issue because 'she always knows what her husband is doing'.

Just wanted to clarify a bit further.

[zil]

Sexual sins receive the attention they do because they directly interfere with God's plan of marriage between a man and a woman and that couple bringing children into the world.  Every sexual sin (porn, masturbation, fornication, adultery, etc.) either discourages (e.g. satisfies desire without going to all the bother of involving a spouse) or breaks marriage and/or having children.  Husband + Wife + Children is the basic unit of eternity.  This is how we believe God's kingdom is constructed.  The purpose of the Church is to support this family unit.  Anything which weakens or destroys or prevents creation of this family unit is pure evil.  Breaking up a marriage, separating husband and wife, was the very first attack Satan ever made, and he's never stopped that attack.  The scriptures which speak of the severity of sins rank sexual sins right after murder.  Thus, it gets a lot more "air time", as it should.

By comparison, obesity (or any health problem) is a distant runner-up as far as sin goes.  Are there happily married obese people?  Yep.  Do they have children?  Yep.  Do they serve in the Church?  Yep.  Are they productive members of society?  Yep.  While it may offend the eyes of modern man (though apparently not they eyes of men in ages past (depending of course on severity)), it is far less a problem than sexual sin.  And I doubt any member of the Church is unaware that God wishes them to do those things which would make them (more) healthy - it's just left to them to figure out what to do about it.  I will say that I've noted a trend in recent years that lessons on the Word of Wisdom focus more on eating healthily and less on avoiding the forbidden items (assuming there's time left after someone derails the lesson into the caffeinated soda debate).

You could also throw into that mix that the world is encouraging sexual sin and discouraging obesity - thus the first needs a counter-voice, while the second doesn't.

[person0]

1 hour ago, Grunt said:

I wonder how they choose what is or isn't important for a temple recommend.

Almost all of the temple recommend interview questions are things that are easily measured by the person being asked.  They all are rooted in having an individual verify that they actually believe and strive to follow the principles and doctrines of our faith.

Some of the questions ask, "Do you have faith in/believe in . . . ?"

Some ask, "Do you keep [X] law/covenant/rule?"

Some ask, "Are you [X] attribute . . . ?  (such as honesty in your day to day dealings with others)

All questions have yes or no answers and there's really only one question that is fairly ambiguous.  It asks if you consider yourself worthy to enter the temple.  This is the final question and allows anything that is related or not related to the other questions to be addressed, and offers the opportunity for introspection and coming clean if there is anything weighing on your soul.

'Do you keep the Word of Wisdom?' is one of the questions.  While it would be an absolutely hilarious comedy sketch, since there are so many factors related to obesity, the question is never asked, 'Are you fat because you eat too much or are you just fat because your body naturally tends to obesity?'

I will gladly volunteer to ask people that question if it ever becomes a reality!  (jk)

Edited August 20, 2017 by person0

[person0]

Incidentally, our stake president is in our ward right now teaching a combined meeting about pornography and its effects on men and women.  One of the most interesting things is that he acknowledged that he and even all the apostles and prophets are susceptible and affected at some level by the temptation of pornography.  He also commented that every person in the room has seen it at some point.  It's so rampant in our society.

You are not alone brother.

Side Note:  In response to someone's comment he made it very clear that sex is a good thing and that we are very in favor of sex in the Church.  Most people aren't used to hearing these truth's discussed openly in the Church, but its importance is growing, along with it's frequency.

[Grunt]

4 hours ago, my two cents said:

I don't want to sidetrack but fwiw - obesity is more complicated than people realize. There are many underlying factors that could be at play. I don't know anyone who likes being overweight but they struggle with things the eye can't see so I think some compassion is in order.

There are factors at play in everything, but with rare exceptions, people choose to be obese.

[Grunt]

30 minutes ago, person0 said:

we are very in favor of sex in the Church.  

 

Wait, what?

[Grunt]

4 hours ago, zil said:

Sexual sins receive the attention they do because they directly interfere with God's plan of marriage between a man and a woman and that couple bringing children into the world.  Every sexual sin (porn, masturbation, fornication, adultery, etc.) either discourages (e.g. satisfies desire without going to all the bother of involving a spouse) or breaks marriage and/or having children.  Husband + Wife + Children is the basic unit of eternity.  This is how we believe God's kingdom is constructed.  The purpose of the Church is to support this family unit.  Anything which weakens or destroys or prevents creation of this family unit is pure evil.  Breaking up a marriage, separating husband and wife, was the very first attack Satan ever made, and he's never stopped that attack.  The scriptures which speak of the severity of sins rank sexual sins right after murder.  Thus, it gets a lot more "air time", as it should.

By comparison, obesity (or any health problem) is a distant runner-up as far as sin goes.  Are there happily married obese people?  Yep.  Do they have children?  Yep.  Do they serve in the Church?  Yep.  Are they productive members of society?  Yep.  While it may offend the eyes of modern man (though apparently not they eyes of men in ages past (depending of course on severity)), it is far less a problem than sexual sin.  And I doubt any member of the Church is unaware that God wishes them to do those things which would make them (more) healthy - it's just left to them to figure out what to do about it.  I will say that I've noted a trend in recent years that lessons on the Word of Wisdom focus more on eating healthily and less on avoiding the forbidden items (assuming there's time left after someone derails the lesson into the caffeinated soda debate).

You could also throw into that mix that the world is encouraging sexual sin and discouraging obesity - thus the first needs a counter-voice, while the second doesn't.

That helped a lot.  Thank you.