JohnsonJones Posted October 25, 2017 Report Share Posted October 25, 2017 TBH, I think the much more concerning thing is the adultery. I find it remarkable that she stuck it out with her husband and already speaks about her incredibly wonderful character. IF he is sinking back into old habits, FAR more than pornography, I would be worried about adultery. Personally, no matter what the excuse, I just can't see any reason that could excuse that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadMaddy Posted October 25, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2017 2 hours ago, JohnsonJones said: TBH, I think the much more concerning thing is the adultery. I find it remarkable that she stuck it out with her husband and already speaks about her incredibly wonderful character. IF he is sinking back into old habits, FAR more than pornography, I would be worried about adultery. Personally, no matter what the excuse, I just can't see any reason that could excuse that. YES! The pornography is worrisome for me, as he’s slipped about once every 6 months or so. However, my biggest fear is that these habits will bring back the adultery. When we were in the midst of weekly therapy he never indulged in pornography. I know he needs to get back into an SA program. I have suggested it, but refuse to nag him about it....even though I REALLY want to nag. Is this something a wife SHOULD nag about? I feel that if I had insisted on him getting help years ago, the adultery never would have happened...at least I hope so. “One thing to look out for is where are you husbands priorities. Does he still value his member ship in the church, does he wear his garments with pride and purpose. Does he tell you that he doesnt like his addiction, is he continually repentant and sorry for his actions even though it keeps re-occuring, does he teach your kids to be morally clean and live all the commandments? All these are good signs.” Yes to all of this! He’s a very good man, and I love him dearly...I just really hate the addiction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted October 25, 2017 Report Share Posted October 25, 2017 6 minutes ago, MadMaddy said: YES! The pornography is worrisome for me, as he’s slipped about once every 6 months or so. However, my biggest fear is that these habits will bring back the adultery. When we were in the midst of weekly therapy he never indulged in pornography. I know he needs to get back into an SA program. I have suggested it, but refuse to nag him about it....even though I REALLY want to nag. Is this something a wife SHOULD nag about? I feel that if I had insisted on him getting help years ago, the adultery never would have happened...at least I hope so. Again, *you* cannot address *his* problem. He has to want to change/be clean, and he has to do the work. It is impossible for you to do it for him or force him. NeedleinA and Midwest LDS 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted October 25, 2017 Report Share Posted October 25, 2017 10 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said: Again, *you* cannot address *his* problem. He has to want to change/be clean, and he has to do the work. It is impossible for you to do it for him or force him. Just to second what @Jane_Doe said-she (Jane) is exactly right. One of the hardest life truths I've ever had to accept is that you can't love someone into sobriety. You can't love them into stopping an addiction. They are the ones that need to change. People can change but it's more of a lifelong struggle than an instant thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
priesthoodpower Posted October 26, 2017 Report Share Posted October 26, 2017 10 hours ago, JohnsonJones said: TBH, I think the much more concerning thing is the adultery. I find it remarkable that she stuck it out with her husband and already speaks about her incredibly wonderful character. IF he is sinking back into old habits, FAR more than pornography, I would be worried about adultery. Personally, no matter what the excuse, I just can't see any reason that could excuse that. In another thread about perfection several posters in here mention the fact that no matter how much you fail, pick your self up and drag your self back to church, even if it takes a thousand times. Elder Holland said perfection is not earned it is a gift....after all that we can do. According to OP she says her husband is doing all he can do to stay active in the church, she loves him and forgave him. At his age of mid 40s I suppose he has failed a little over 600 times, 1000 would take him to about 70. I think he is on track to perfection and he is a lucky guy to have a wife that loves and supports him. PS - kind of a random thought. Because of my low libido I thought about things I could do to spice it up and get that energy back, got the doc to prescribe me viagra, went to the pharmacy and found out it was about $120 a pill, said "no thank you". The following week in the paper read an article about my friends 55yr old uncle (LDS but divorced) who works in a women prison. He is being sued by a female inmate that said he impregnated her. His defense? The viagra made me do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.