Dating advice


walkwithgrace
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Hello!

I apologize if this is in the wrong place, but I thought this was the best section for this question.  To start, I attend a very small ward.  I'm the only single member.  I'm 31 years old and unmarried.  I know most people will say work on your relationship with God.  God is always with you.  It's in God's time.  I mean no disrespect in saying this.  My relationship with God is as great as it has ever been.  I feel so close to him.  I am a very spiritual person.  My goal is to please God and become more like Him.  I work on my relationship with God every day.  That is perfectly fine.  I'm already good with that.  I know God is always with me.  Those two points of advice really don't help me as I already am living them.  How did you all meet your spouses?  I am a convert and converted two years ago.  I've joined some singles Facebook group, but really they don't seem to be going anywhere.  Should I talk to my bishop?  Me being single is really making me feel out of place and uncomfortable.  I desperately want to be married and have children in this life.  How do I go about meeting other single people?  What should I do?  Can anyone give me some advice?

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40 minutes ago, walkwithgrace said:

Hello!

I apologize if this is in the wrong place, but I thought this was the best section for this question.  To start, I attend a very small ward.  I'm the only single member.  I'm 31 years old and unmarried.  I know most people will say work on your relationship with God.  God is always with you.  It's in God's time.  I mean no disrespect in saying this.  My relationship with God is as great as it has ever been.  I feel so close to him.  I am a very spiritual person.  My goal is to please God and become more like Him.  I work on my relationship with God every day.  That is perfectly fine.  I'm already good with that.  I know God is always with me.  Those two points of advice really don't help me as I already am living them.  How did you all meet your spouses?  I am a convert and converted two years ago.  I've joined some singles Facebook group, but really they don't seem to be going anywhere.  Should I talk to my bishop?  Me being single is really making me feel out of place and uncomfortable.  I desperately want to be married and have children in this life.  How do I go about meeting other single people?  What should I do?  Can anyone give me some advice?

It sounds, from your description, that you live in the east, south, or Midwest. Honestly, dating is becomes more and more difficult the further you get from the western United States. An option you could consider is moving to Arizona, Wyoming, Oregon, Utah, Idaho or any other western state, but particularly those ones. 

If that isn’t possible, try looking for a singles ward around a temple where you live.

Also, LDS singles is great, online dating is a GREAT way to go

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Ok, so I'm seeing two questions here:

1) How to better meet people to date / potentially marry

2) How to feel more comfortable / in place in church right now

Answering #1:

I met my husband when he kicked me in the face with a soccer ball on my 13th birthday.  It was NOT love at first sigh.  We didn't even date till after undergrad (and I cried buckets in surprise when he asked me out).  

But everyone else's journey is different- everyone is unique.  So big picture keep your eyes open and don't rule out the unexpected.  Still, you need to put yourself out there and get to know people- don't be afraid to ask a guy out yourself.  Obvious in-person places to meet people if there are are singles activities in your area (you mentioned there's no singles in your ward, but not in the greater area).  Online isn't a horrible place to meet people either, either from Facebook groups or apps like Mutual-- obviously keep safety/sanity in mind.  And patience is something you'll need in spades.

Answering #2:

For me, it helped realizing that I wasn't the only single person in the church-- that actually about half the church is single at any given time.  There's young never-married, older never-married, divorced, widowed, etc.  For me, it really helped to be ok hanging out with whoever (married or not), and share the same cares.  Particularly older people- I found playing games with a older ladies (empty nester or widowed) to be a lot of fun.  Admittedly, the people I found to be hardest to hang out with were young moms because they were so focused on taking care of their families right now (which is a good thing, but not where I was at).

 

Edited by Jane_Doe
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51 minutes ago, walkwithgrace said:

Hello!

I apologize if this is in the wrong place, but I thought this was the best section for this question.  To start, I attend a very small ward.  I'm the only single member.  I'm 31 years old and unmarried.  I know most people will say work on your relationship with God.  God is always with you.  It's in God's time.  I mean no disrespect in saying this.  My relationship with God is as great as it has ever been.  I feel so close to him.  I am a very spiritual person.  My goal is to please God and become more like Him.  I work on my relationship with God every day.  That is perfectly fine.  I'm already good with that.  I know God is always with me.  Those two points of advice really don't help me as I already am living them.  How did you all meet your spouses?  I am a convert and converted two years ago.  I've joined some singles Facebook group, but really they don't seem to be going anywhere.  Should I talk to my bishop?  Me being single is really making me feel out of place and uncomfortable.  I desperately want to be married and have children in this life.  How do I go about meeting other single people?  What should I do?  Can anyone give me some advice?

I married a woman who I met in the singles ward and became very good friends with!

My advice would be to just hang out with lots of LDS singles, put yourself in a position for friendships to form with members of the opposite sex, and you may be surprised at how easily and naturally things progress.  If there aren't many LDS singles to hang out with, it may be a good idea to quit your job, pack up and move to Utah where you may have more opportunity.  Eternal marriage is well worth sacrificing your career or whatever else you have going on in your life at your current location.

Some other advice would be, while you should only date and marry members of the opposite sex who are living the gospel, within those confines you should be open minded.  For example, if you are a guy, don't decide you won't give a woman a chance just because she is not a cheerleader type, for example.  Remember, according to Brigham Young (and I don't have the quote handy), just about any righteous man and any righteous woman in the Church can find happiness in marriage, both in this life and eternity, if they live the gospel and are willing to commit to one another.  Strictly date only righteous members of the Church, but keep an open mind within those guidelines.  (I have seen a number of LDS singles who wind up never getting married, despite having plenty of opportunities, because they are waiting for Mr. or Ms. perfect to come along, and they never meet anyone up to their standards - a very prideful attitude to take, if you would ask me).

Also, don't give up hope - some people wait years and years to get married, and then they finally meet someone, one thing leads to another, and they wind up married and the relationship progresses like the most natural thing in the world.  I remember I always thought I would struggle with finding a wife.  In the summer of 2005, I was 22 years old, back from my mission, and I had never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl before.  I remember thinking one night while jogging that marriage, if it was in the cards for me at all, was probably a decade away.  Well, I was married approximately 13 months later, to a woman I began dating a few weeks after that night.  So don't give up hope - things can change very quickly in this regard, and the past is not indicative of the future.

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56 minutes ago, NightSG said:

And, of course, be ready for the same guy to tell women to avoid you when you don't make enough money after ditching your career.

I've never said any such thing.  Some of the best men (and by extension husbands) I know are pretty poor.

I HAVE said that, once a man and a woman are engaged, the woman gets to have some say as to what the man's career choices are, since she is affected by his choices.  I have also said that, if a man is not willing to accept his wife's counsel on career choices, then he is not being a good husband, as marriage is supposed to be a partnership in every way.

However, I place a woman marrying a man primarily for his money/career in the same category as a man primarily marrying a woman for her looks - shallow, borderline unrighteous, and likely doomed to fail.

Edited by DoctorLemon
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2 hours ago, walkwithgrace said:

Thank you! I just joined LDS Singles. I'm hoping that works.  You never know.  I think I'll talk to my bishop about it also. I live on the East Coast and my ward is really small.  I would love to move, but unfortunately I can't afford that right now.

And don’t give up, no one is meant to be alone, but unfortunately, that aloneness might last a while. I have a dear friend of mine that is your age and has yet to marry as well. He is also one of the most positive and optimistic guys I know. 

And when dating opportunities do arise, don’t make the mistake every member in Utah makes. For some reason people still feel like there is a “the one”. Truth is any two righteous living son of God can have a great marriage with any righteous living daughter of God.

That being said, my first post on this forum was dealing with dating a girl and one member said something along the lines of “Marriage is not the time to show everyone how open minded you are”. Find someone you can love and are attracted to.

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Dating advice:

TL;DR: Date everything. 31 Jan 2018, 31 January 2018, and 2018-01-31 are acceptable, everything else isn't.

Details:

  1. Date all documents (journals, letters, notes, etc.).
  2. Use text for the month whenever possible - this avoids confusion between day and month (or even year in some cases).  E.g. 13 July 2017 or July 13th.  Genealogists and archaeologists will praise you long after you've died.
  3. Use two digits for the day.  This prevents people from altering (or questioning) what you wrote.  E.g. 01 January 2018, not 1 January 2018.
  4. Use all four digits for the year.  This prevents it from looking like day or month, and avoids confusion about which century you're talking about.  (It's also accurate, whereas 2 digits are not).  See above for examples.
  5. When only numbers are allowed, the only logical format is in decreasing order of specificity: YYYY-MM-DD (separator is optional and can be any of a variety of characters, but be consistent), which has the added bonus of easily sorting in chronological order.  E.g. 2018-01-31.  Increasing order of specificity is a distant second: 31-01-2018.  But mixed order is just wrong: 01-31-2018 - ick.
  6. When using both numbers and letters, the most logical format is: dd MMM yyyy - this eliminates excess characters like commas and "th"s and "st"s.  31 Jan 2018, not January 31st 2018 or Jan. 31, 2018 or some other weird thing.
  7. If you must use numbers for the month, use two, not one (see above).
  8. When writing by hand, make sure your "a" doesn't look like "u", or don't use 3-character abbreviations for month, otherwise no one will know whether you meant "Jan" or "Jun".

And that's all the dating advice I have to give.

Edited by zil
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@walkwithgrace. Why not make your quest a joint project with Heavenly Father? If you have not yet taken out your endowments, perhaps this is the right time for you? You could pray & fast for guidance and put your name down at the temple. Bear in mind that although many righteous Latter Day Saints post on online boards so do many con artists. A common ploy is to try to establish a relationship and then to ask for money. Good luck!

Edited by Sunday21
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2 hours ago, Fether said:

And don’t give up, no one is meant to be alone,

Y'know, exposed to the harsh light of reality, that one just doesn't hold water anymore.  I've been to the funerals of way too many people who died alone, and had wanted nothing more in life than to have a family of their own.

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27 minutes ago, NightSG said:

Y'know, exposed to the harsh light of reality, that one just doesn't hold water anymore.  I've been to the funerals of way too many people who died alone, and had wanted nothing more in life than to have a family of their own.

Very encouraging.  Could you try to allow for some uplifting comments to get through to someone asking for some encouragement?

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36 minutes ago, NightSG said:

Y'know, exposed to the harsh light of reality, that one just doesn't hold water anymore.  I've been to the funerals of way too many people who died alone, and had wanted nothing more in life than to have a family of their own.

Correction: no one is meant to be alone forever. I stated in my comment that being alone may last a while... I meant that to be this life but I didn’t want to say “you may die alone”... no need to say that if it isn’t guaranteed. But after this life, there will be chance for love for everyone.

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1. First and foremost improve your outer appearance. Lose 5 pounds, get a haircut, upgrade your wardrobe etc..

2. Attend as many church functions as possibile

3.  LDS dating websites

4. Move to Utah, if you are fortunate enough to marry while in Utah quickly move out of Utah.

5. Christian dating websites

6. Non christian dating websites

7. craigslist

If you believe in pre-mortal life then we are all brothers and sisters and it shouldnt matter what religion or culture your potential partner is from- Love has no barriers. Before the gospels of Jesus Christ and even before the restoration of the church by Joseph Smith, God commanded Adam..."multiply and replenish the earth". Im not saying to settle for less, im just saying that you will let life pass you by if you are too picky waiting for the perfect person. You can die single while being true to your temple covenants, or you can die while having raised a happy non-lds family and still being true to your temple covenants, of course the preffered is to marry an LDS partner but if that aint working out keep your options open.

Me and my wife are both returned missionarys and temple married with 3 children. She has left the church and is actually anti-religion/anti-mormon. I plan on living out the rest of my life being true to my temple covenants and having raised a happy family.

 

 

 

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25 minutes ago, priesthoodpower said:

1. First and foremost improve your outer appearance. Lose 5 pounds, get a haircut, upgrade your wardrobe etc..

Also, get taller, because women who definitely aren't shallow are still allergic to short guys.

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2. Attend as many church functions as possibile

Remember to take safety precautions, though, because there will be a ton of women at those.  Maybe only three women, but at least a ton.

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3.  LDS dating websites

You can try for a profitable sideline offering to Photoshop the cigs and mixed drinks out of the women's profile photos.  If you can airbrush on something that's not strapless, and brush off 40-50 pounds and some beard stubble, they'll jump at the offer.

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4. Move to Utah,

No matter how many gallons of Axe body spray you bathe in, it can't cover up the stench of that level of desperation.  You're better off looking through mail-order bride catalogs for the "clearance, seconds and possibly already dead" section.  

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5. Christian dating websites

Avoid the Pentecostal ones unless you really like snakes, and the SDA ones unless you just want to own a nice honeymoon sheet.

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6. Non christian dating websites

AtheistFriendsWithBenefits.com may be more likely to have some good Mormon girls than LDSPlanet.  

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7. craigslist

Get lots of cute cats and post them cheap, then the single women will come to you.

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If you believe in pre-mortal life then we are all brothers and sisters and it shouldnt matter what religion or culture your potential partner is from- Love has no barriers. Before the gospels of Jesus Christ and even before the restoration of the church by Joseph Smith, God commanded Adam..."multiply and replenish the earth". Im not saying to settle for less, im just saying that you will let life pass you by if you are too picky waiting for the perfect person. You can die single while being true to your temple covenants, or you can die while having raised a happy non-lds family and still being true to your temple covenants,

pcvss.jpg

1 hour ago, Fether said:

Correction: no one is meant to be alone forever. I stated in my comment that being alone may last a while... I meant that to be this life but I didn’t want to say “you may die alone”... no need to say that if it isn’t guaranteed. But after this life, there will be chance for love for everyone.

Oh goody; we've cut rather quickly to the "you're better off dead" advice.  Didn't want that to be hanging out forever in the shadows building suspense.

Edited by NightSG
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1 minute ago, NightSG said:

pcvss.jpg

Wow! I can't pass up an invitation like that.

Do you get some kind of fulfillment from dashing hopes of anyone who may receive some sort of positive affirmations?

Do you find your spine getting lopsided because of the weight of that chip on your shoulder? Or do you simply have one on each shoulder?

Do you simply like to spread the misery?  Yeah, because that always makes everything better.

Do you like insulting complete strangers who have done nothing to you?

How many puppies have you kicked today?  Well, the day ain't over yet...

@NightSG,

Dude, you've got to let go of the bitterness or it will consume you.  Your main argument is the cold light of reality.  It holds no water.  It is the cold heart of your perception of reality.

My BIL was hit harder than you have ever been hit.  He's gone through everything you've been through and then some.  It nearly destroyed him.  He does not suffer from depression, but he was about to end it all many times.  But in the end, he decided (NOTE: Decided) to trust in the Lord regardless of what "reality" might be telling him.  He was eventually blessed with all the Lord had prepared for him.  And THAT is the reality his faith and hope got him.

I pray that you will find the desire to come back to the Lord.  But you've got to let go of the bitterness if you are to humble yourself before Him.  Any righteous desires you have are what He has in store for you as soon as you can humble yourself to become the man you were meant to be.

I really do feel for you and wish you well. I'm sorry that you feel such loss of hope.  But I can promise you that it is there for you.

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19 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Do you get some kind of fulfillment from dashing hopes of anyone who may receive some sort of positive affirmations?

I find it cruel to build false hopes, especially after having to apologize to the casket of a very dear friend for having told her those same lines over and over. 

19 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

He was eventually blessed with all the Lord had prepared for him.  And THAT is the reality his faith and hope got him.

"Eventually" is a bit of a problem; I trusted the bishop, and burned through thousands of savings into thousands in debt trying to fulfill the calling I was put into.  Ended up spending a few nights in jail because I trusted that paying tithing before fines (because I couldn't afford to keep the car entirely legal, but still had to get to the stake center when nobody else from the ward was going in order to even try to do anything with the calling) would somehow work out for the best.  Then lost the job, which pretty well settled that question, since what I make now doesn't even pay the bills, much less the remaining fines or anything toward the other debt.

19 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Any righteous desires you have are what He has in store for you as soon as you can humble yourself to become the man you were meant to be.

Been there, done that.  Can't afford to do it again.

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9 hours ago, NightSG said:

"Eventually" is a bit of a problem; I trusted the bishop, and burned through thousands of savings into thousands in debt trying to fulfill the calling I was put into.  Ended up spending a few nights in jail because I trusted that paying tithing before fines (because I couldn't afford to keep the car entirely legal, but still had to get to the stake center when nobody else from the ward was going in order to even try to do anything with the calling) would somehow work out for the best.

None of what you did seems to be in line with the teachings of the church. 

1) What calling “requires” you to use your own money??? You and your family's wellbeing comes long before the desires of the church (with an exception to tithing). If the Bishop asked me to add a large lump sum of money to the young men’s program, I would say “No, I’m a full til student, working full time, and have a baby on the way” this isn’t a lack of faith or trust in “the Bishop”, it’s just the order of things.

2) big mistake here, you had faith that God would keep you from being caught by the law with your illegal car. When instead you should have had faith that because you couldn’t get a car, you would find a way to the church to fulfill your calling.

Edited by Fether
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17 hours ago, walkwithgrace said:

Hello!

I apologize if this is in the wrong place, but I thought this was the best section for this question.  To start, I attend a very small ward.  I'm the only single member.  I'm 31 years old and unmarried.  I know most people will say work on your relationship with God.  God is always with you.  It's in God's time.  I mean no disrespect in saying this.  My relationship with God is as great as it has ever been.  I feel so close to him.  I am a very spiritual person.  My goal is to please God and become more like Him.  I work on my relationship with God every day.  That is perfectly fine.  I'm already good with that.  I know God is always with me.  Those two points of advice really don't help me as I already am living them.  How did you all meet your spouses?  I am a convert and converted two years ago.  I've joined some singles Facebook group, but really they don't seem to be going anywhere.  Should I talk to my bishop?  Me being single is really making me feel out of place and uncomfortable.  I desperately want to be married and have children in this life.  How do I go about meeting other single people?  What should I do?  Can anyone give me some advice?

Welcome to the forum! 

Have you thought about joining a club or something outside of church and the internet? Maybe karate or hiking or taking a scuba class? Your husband doesn't have to LDS. I think @Jane_Doe is married to someone who isn't LDS (Correct me if I'm wrong please @Jane_Doe) so happy interfaith marriages are possible. 

Remember to set standards, but make them reasonable. If you expect one person to meet or exceed 3,000 rules-you'll be single for the rest of your life. 

Good luck! 

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Nothing I say will guarantee you to find love or a spouse.  I actually have stories of men and women who are righteous but have remained unmarried.  Most of the Men, though, I cannot say are completely innocent in the matter, having had an opportunity at one point or the other that they could get married, but chose for one reason or the other not too.  If one is not handicapped, I think at some point or another, as long as they seek someone to date, eventually will end up with the opportunity to be married if they so desire it IF they are not disabled in some fashion.  However, I have seen it over and over again where they decide for some odd reason, that they cannot get married to some LDS girl or such thing for whatever reasons. 

On the otherhand, there are those that are disabled or handicapped which I have seen never have the opportunity to be married in the church or to a member of the church.  It also seems that worthy LDS women outnumber worthy LDS males, and that this ratio grows larger the older one gets.  This may work in the favor of LDS men, but it can be VERY disheartening to LDS women.

I have a nephew who is now 50 years old and never married.  He gets uncomfortable discussing what has happened in the past, but as far as I know, is a worthy LDS member.  It can be difficult for him to see others who have children and families that are around him.  He is also on the East Coast.  He has been able to date LDS members, even in the area where he is.

It may seem crazy, but the East coast has quite a number of LDS members comparatively to some places in Europe.  In Northern Europe they actually have a multi-nation get together once a year of around 800 single adults from many nations up there just in hopes that they will be able to meet another LDS young adult.  It can be fun, but I think that people are at times desperate (if people talk about BYU and BYUi having that marriage attitude, well....this event in Europe exceeds those in my eyes).

The blessing of the East Coast is that normally there is a stake Single Adults group.  This may mean that you have to travel two or three hours to get to an activity every so often, but if you go, you will meet other young adults.  This is far better then the travel across national borders and further for a once a year event that occurs in Europe.  Of course, it may be that you meet no one at your Single Adults group for the Stake.  They occasionally also have Regional Single Adult activities, which are probably more like the European event above.  In this you may have hundreds of Single Adults.

What I am suggesting is the same as what some have said above.  Go to Single Adult activities.  There is NO guarantee that you will find someone, but it is a higher chance that you will find a worthy LDS member if you go, than if you do not.

I would advise patience.  That can be a VERY HARD thing to do, especially the older one gets.  Patience in the Lord is a great thing to have.  It also can be a horrendously hard trial.  I am glad I did not have to suffer such a trial myself, but that is little solace to those who are undergoing it currently.

I am not so certain traveling to Utah is the best idea in order to find a spouse.  I have heard of stories where it works out, I have also heard of stories where it absolutely does not work out.  An individual moves to Utah for that sole reason and in many cases is no closer to finding a worthy LDS spouse than they were before.  I suppose it depends on the individual.

I have not participated in this online thing of dating.  It was not something that existed when I was young, and my children didn't utilize it either.  At the time when most of them were dating I highly advised them NOT to find dates online as it seemed less safe.  Times have changed though, and many here have far more experience than I do in this new fangled type of dating.  It may be that the LDS singles dating site is a good option, especially for those who do not have many LDS members in their vicinity.

In that light, signing up for one of those dating sites made specifically for LDS singles may be a good idea.

I would highly advise that you keep your standards regardless.  Not all LDS individuals are there for good reason in some cases (or so I expect at least) and so caution is always advised.

I would advise to trying to date individuals inside the church.  It is a worthy goal to aim for a temple marriage. 

There are those that marry outside the church though.  It works out sometimes, at other times it does not.  I would ensure that anyone I date would respect the standards I set, whether they are LDS or a non-member.  It may actually be at times that a non-member will respect your moral boundaries and the law of chastity MORE than a member would.  Once again, no matter what, stick with your morals and do not go beyond those boundaries no matter what.

My personal thoughts are to aim for a temple marriage if possible.  That is only going to occur IF you keep your own morals and the law of chastity.

I know what I said above probably is of no solace to you.  As I said, nothing I say can guarantee that you will find a spouse or not.  I can urge patience, but many would ask, at what point does patience run out?  In the Lords time is all I can say.  We DO believe in a hereafter where the Lord has all the answers that we may lack on this earth.  If it is our lot that we must wait until that time to find the answers to some of the largest unanswered prayers we have in this life...then may we have the strength to do so.

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Here are some thoughts:

1) Thank you for your humility and faith in recognizing the Spirit of the Lord that converted you to the gospel of Jesus Christ. May you continue to seek this gift of faith and hope.
2) Seek all avenues that you have available to become acquainted with people of the opposite sex that hold and keep to the standards of the Church (many have been provided in this thread)
3) Continue to be patient and humble allowing the Lord to direct your path

I hesitate some to provide this thought; however, it is a truth of someone else's life I was able to become acquainted with. She was single. She desired not to be alone, married. She prayed with faith. Who did the Lord send? No joke! He sent a non-member mailman. A man of good standard and good heart who later joined the Church and they were able to be sealed. I hesitate because he was a non-member, which doesn't always work out, and I don't want you to start thinking it will be a non-member. I would hope that you pay attention to #3 -- no matter the outcome.

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@walkwithgrace

I met the love of my life at college (BYU).  The fall semester was just starting and I had organized a campout and hike to the top of Mt. Timpanogos (11,000 feet above sea level).   Hundreds of students showed up.  The future Mrs. Traveler was one that showed up.  I thought at the time I would like to get to know her – but would not happen till later.  To be honest she perused me.  What I thought was a chance setup turned out to have been planned by her.  Meeting and dating was the easy part.  Building an eternal relationship has (so far) taken 45 years and there is still a lot of building yet to do (though I must admit that raising our children was the most difficult part of building our relationship).

Recently I was talking to a young man (young to me – in his middle 30’s).  He was having grave difficulties finding compatible ladies to date that he considers marriageable.    I asked him about the problem he was having.  He said there are many ladies – lots on dating sights – that show interest in him and desire to pursue a relationship.  This young man likes lots of outdoor activity, camping, hiking, rock climbing, skiing and bike riding to name a few.  He is also very busy as a principle in a startup company developing new technology.

He told me that so many of the ladies (especially those that have responded at dating websites – for LDS) say they honestly want to know why he does not what to date them.  He said he learned his lesson not to be honest – even though the ladies seem to genuinely want to know what they can do the better their dating opportunities.  One time he mentioned that they should lose some weight.  He said the responses were turned against him quickly for “body shaming” and not being interested in an otherwise spiritual person.  He said he was all but banned from the website.  

My advice to anyone having difficulty in finding their eternal partner.  First, make yourself desirable (in all ways possible) to what you want in a partner.  Do not look for "things" in others that you are not willing to be yourself.  Make it your highest priority.  Second, broaden as much as you can (as much as possible) your base of opportunity.  Back in my hunting days – I realized (like Nephi in the Book of Mormon) you have to hunt in places where there is game to be hanging out; to be successful.  It is not just a matter of skill (even though skill is necessary) – Nephi prayed to know where he should go.

 

The Traveler

Edited by Traveler
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Hi @walkwithgrace!  Look for a YSA ward close to you.  Even if you have to drive a couple hours to get there, it might be worth your while to at least attend some of their activities.

But, my #1 advice to you (besides the things you're already doing - seeking the will of The Father and seeking his guidance on the matter):  Don't have the same attitude as @NightSG.  That outlook in life is the #1 hindrance to relationships.  Inspiration is required in relationships and skepticism and negativity (couched in self-fulfilling realism) does not inspire people.  The interesting thing is - the more you are scared of being alone, the more the chances of you ending up alone.  Do your best to seek opportunity and be inspirational and God will do the rest.  If things work out such that you end up alone your entire lifetime, that's perfectly okay.  It's not some tragedy like NightSG is painting it as.  You can stand infront of God confident that you did your best in following God's commandments.

And P.S.  I have a lot of single nieces.  Okay, they're Catholics, but they're awesome.  :D

And P.P.S.  Just because you're single does not mean you can't exercise the principles of Fatherhood.  Your position as a Man of good standing can influence tons of children to walk in the light with grace as you have and provide for the example of what a Man of God is.  You can be an influence to your nephews and nieces, neighbors, schools, ward primary children, etc. etc.

Edited by anatess2
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