Extremely addicted to pornography

[Tyke]

Hi all,

I am currently 31 years of age, and started pornography at the age of 11. 

The past years have been very challenging! Enough though i work full time I make time to spend up to 3 hours a day to watch pornography and masturbate.

This addiction has led me to meet people online to have cyber sex, phone sex and exchanging rude images with each other. 

It's now reached the point where I go and see escorts for sex.

Has anyone reached this level and gotten out? If so, what did you do to overcome this?

[Grunt]

If you're at the stage where you are meeting escorts then you'll be out of this sooner or later.  You'll either be robbed, dead, or on television.  You absolutely can get out.  Are you getting help?  Have you spoken to your Bishop?  It sounds like you're at the point that any normal advice I could give you won't be enough.  You need counseling.

I wish you the best of luck and I'm praying for you.  Your trials are tough, but you're a spirit child of God.  That means you have the power to overcome this.

Edited April 24, 2018 by Grunt

[omegaseamaster75]

4 hours ago, Grunt said:

If you're at the stage where you are meeting escorts then you'll be out of this sooner or later.  You'll either be robbed, dead, or on television.  You absolutely can get out.  Are you getting help?  Have you spoken to your Bishop?  It sounds like you're at the point that any normal advice I could give you won't be enough.  You need counseling.

This.

See a professional, your bishop can help you wade through the process of repentance but your root problem needs to be addressed. You are engaging in dangerous and potentially life threatening behaviors.

[anatess2]

14 hours ago, Tyke said:

Hi all,

I am currently 31 years of age, and started pornography at the age of 11. 

The past years have been very challenging! Enough though i work full time I make time to spend up to 3 hours a day to watch pornography and masturbate.

This addiction has led me to meet people online to have cyber sex, phone sex and exchanging rude images with each other. 

It's now reached the point where I go and see escorts for sex.

Has anyone reached this level and gotten out? If so, what did you do to overcome this?

Sell everything you have, buy a plane ticket and move to the Philippines.  ISPs here block pornography BY LAW.  You exchange nude images over the internet and you're gonna have Duterte's men knock on your door.  Scares the porn out of you, I'd think.

Anyway, you really need to go see a professional.  You can get a recommendation from your bishop if you desire.  Don't delay.  The time is NOW.  People have gone to the edge of insanity and come back healed - I just talked to 3 cousins of mine who did this from various addictions.  But it's almost impossible to do this alone.  You need the experts on hand.

[Tyke]

11 hours ago, Grunt said:

If you're at the stage where you are meeting escorts then you'll be out of this sooner or later.  You'll either be robbed, dead, or on television.  You absolutely can get out.  Are you getting help?  Have you spoken to your Bishop?  It sounds like you're at the point that any normal advice I could give you won't be enough.  You need counseling.

I wish you the best of luck and I'm praying for you.  Your trials are tough, but you're a spirit child of God.  That means you have the power to overcome this.

Television?

Its legal to see escorts here in New Zealand

[Tyke]

4 hours ago, anatess2 said:

Sell everything you have, buy a plane ticket and move to the Philippines.  ISPs here block pornography BY LAW.  You exchange nude images over the internet and you're gonna have Duterte's men knock on your door.  Scares the porn out of you, I'd think.

Anyway, you really need to go see a professional.  You can get a recommendation from your bishop if you desire.  Don't delay.  The time is NOW.  People have gone to the edge of insanity and come back healed - I just talked to 3 cousins of mine who did this from various addictions.  But it's almost impossible to do this alone.  You need the experts on hand.

Men knocking on my door?

We exchange the pictures at each other's consent.

[Grunt]

17 minutes ago, Tyke said:

Television?

Its legal to see escorts here in New Zealand

Ahhh.  Sorry, I didn't know where you were from.  The rest of my post is accurate.  Call your Bishop today, not tomorrow, not next week, TODAY and ask him to help you.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Tyke,  absolutely you can overcome this.  With Christ all things are possible.  I'm not saying it will be easy or quick, but I am saying the Lord loves you and He can help you, if you are willing to do the work.  I have been studying pornography so I have some suggestions.

First, I agree with what has already been said, talk to your Bishop and get a therapist. Some times, I think we make the mistake of thinking of talking to the Bishop about sins as some form of punishment.  I don't think that is correct.  I think there are certain sins where the Lord says, "You going to need a little assistance overcoming this.  I can't be there in person, so I've given you a Bishop to assist you.  I hope you will think of the Bishop like a coach, fighting FOR you, not like a school principle whose only job is to discipline you.  If you can't afford therapy, he can help you with that.   Also keep in mind that, for now at least, not all therapist think porn is bad.  I don't think you must have an LDS therapist, but you definitely need one who agrees that porn is harmful.  So ask about that before you see them.  

Second, there is a science based website that has been developed to help people stop overcome porn addiction.  Here's the link to the site:
https://www.joinfortify.com

There is a website Fight the New Drug, that posts a lot of helpful information, and they did a post on Fortify...here is an excerpt:

Quote

 

Fortify teamed up with psychologists, neurologists, therapists, and other mental health experts to create an online experience that could equip and empower a person to move away from pornography use and toward a happier life. They worked for nearly two years researching and developing. The initial course launched in 2013 was experienced by about 80,000 people in 155 countries. Based on feedback from early users, the entire training, platform, and experience has been updated, revised, and expanded with extensive opportunities for interaction and growth.

But don’t take our word for it, we want to give you the low down on the latest platform to hit the recovery scene. Below is a brief overview of info about the platform, but you can always visit the site directly at JoinFortify.com to see what it’s all about for yourself. They gave us a free look into the platform, and here’s what we learned:

For the rest of the article: https://fightthenewdrug.org/fortify-new-online-platform-will-change-recovery-experience/

Third, you need a mental "stop sign".  I believe therapists call this 'reframing'.  To do this, you need to spend some time really think about what is so destructive about porn.  I could give you a list, but it needs to be personal...what do YOU feel is most destructive about porn in YOUR life.  Why do you want to stop?  Also consider WHY you use porn (beyond the obvious sexual gratification).  Do you turn to porn when you are sad, stressed, anxious?  Do you use it to "self-soothe'?  Then ask yourself --- at those moments what do you need to remember to help you stop?  

I'll give you an example, but you need to come up with your own mental stop sign because it's a highly personal thing.  So imagine your greatest fear about porn is that you might do something that will land you in prison.  And you turn to porn when you feel lonely.  So...your mental stop sign might be this:   Imagine a prison cell, the door has just closed behind you and your new cellmate says, "Hey Sugar, want some sugar?" And he pats the cot beside him.  Fear seizes you.......  This would be an immediate reminder that porn will not give you the kind of company that you want.  But what to do with those lonely feelings?  (or whatever feelings turn you to porn...that's our next step...)

Fourth, you need new healthier coping skills.  Often people (men and women, adults, children and teens) turn to porn to self-soothe when they feel sad, lonely, depressed, anxious, bored...etc.  So you will also need new coping skills.  That is one of the things that hopefully you will learn in therapy.  Some suggestions for now though..it really is highly personal and could range from meditation, reading, doing art, listening to music or creating music, certain smells, and/or physical activity like jogging, or hiking etc.  

Fifth, in the church we are counseled to read the scriptures and pray daily.  I have found that DAILY "enforcement" is useful in breaking addiction or making new healthy habits as well.  We need daily reminders of why we want to stop or start something...especially when stopping an addiction.  So if I were trying to end an addiction to porn, I would spend a few minutes or more as needed, reading articles that support that such as you will find on fightthenewdrug.org and endsexualexploitation.org   Also, of course, read the scriptures...Pres. Nelson recently promised that reading the Book of Mormon daily can help with pornography.  And read talks on lds.org about the power of the Atonement, and about Jesus Christ.  

Finally, and most importantly....YES, absolutely yes, you can overcome this.  People have done it in the past and people like you will do it in the future.  Elder Oaks in an article about pornography talked about the shame and self-loathing that comes along with using porn.  He said it leads users to "believe one of Satan's greatest lies: that what they have done or continue to do makes them a bad person, unworthy of the Savior's grace and incapable of repentance."  Notice he said that is Satan's LIE.  Remember that.  As I said at the beginning, the Lord loves you and He can cleanse and heal you.  Remember the scripture from Isaiah, though your sins be as scarlet they shall be as white as snow.  Hold on to that promise.  Do your part and trust the Lord to do His.  He will.  Pray for Ministering Angels to help you.  They will as well!  You can do this!

 

 

[Midwest LDS]

You are in a dangerous spot Brother, but you can break away from sexual addiction. It's going to take some work, and you will stumble along the way, but it can be done. Remember what the Apostle Paul promised in Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me". Right now this great sin seems overwhelming, but Christ has conquered death and sin and he can help you, if you let Him. First, go talk to your Bishop. He can give you spiritual counsel that is absolutely neccessary to help you repent. Confession is a neccessary part of repentence as the Lord tells us in Doctrine and Covenants 58:43 "By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them." The second part of this equation is forsaking your sin. This may seem impossible at first, I know how hard it can be to overcome this addiction, but it can be done. Make use of the resources available to your Bishop, including the Church's Addiction Recovery meetings and/or one on one counseling with an LDS therapist. You need help, and these are excellent sources of help. Admit to yourself that you are lost in sin Brother, and that you cannot overcome this without Christ, and make use of the resources he has provided us in our day. If you do, you will overcome this sin.

[Midwest LDS]

You should also check out this video, this man was doing the same thing as you including hiring escorts and Christ helped him overcome his sin. 

 

[anatess2]

6 hours ago, Tyke said:

Men knocking on my door?

We exchange the pictures at each other's consent.

Illegal in the Philippines.  Yep.  Consent is irrelevant if it goes through the government regulated airwaves, e.g. cellular lines.  Liberty-sucking for those who value freedom but can be extremely helpful to kids and those who want to get off the wagon but can't control themselves.

Edited April 25, 2018 by anatess2

[Guest]

 

[zil]

18 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

 

Saw this a few years ago.  It's excellent.  It also proves that solving drug problems is much harder than people want to face.

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, zil said:

Saw this a few years ago.  It's excellent.  It also proves that solving drug problems is much harder than people want to face.

What I got out of it was that home teaching (now ministering) is the most important calling in the Church.

[zil]

1 minute ago, Carborendum said:

What I got out of it was that home teaching (now ministering) is the most important calling in the Church.

Or visiting teaching, in some cases.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

26 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

What I got out of it was that home teaching (now ministering) is the most important calling in the Church.

Yes (visiting teaching too), that is brilliant. I wish we could teach THAT in our meetings. I mean the TED talk AND your observation. 

Edited to add:  I'm just finalizing some lunch plans with a friend, which led me to think about how I have been reaching out a lot more lately....something my therapist has encouraged.....then it hit me.  Aha! THIS is why my therapist wanted me to reach out. She's so smart, lol.

Edited April 25, 2018 by LiterateParakeet

[seashmore]

On 4/25/2018 at 10:59 AM, Carborendum said:

What I got out of it was that home teaching (now ministering) is the most important calling in the Church.

What I got out of that video can be found in this Ensign article. "Cultivating Meaningful Connections."