Does a church leader's inspiration trump our own?

[carlimac]

I am so bugged right now! Earlier this week  I was asked to teach early morning seminary this year by a stake president who barely knows me. Actually the way it went down is that we were contacted by a high counselor who wanted to make a visit to extend an "opportunity" within the stake to us. (My husband is new in the bishopric so we knew it wasn't him they were going to call.) I figured it out since I knew what stake business he was over. That day I totally melted down. Had another anxiety attack and cried all afternoon.  I prayed about it and told the Lord I'm not in a good place to do this. And the clear answer I got that spoke peace to my mind was, " It's OK to say no. Just say no " So I sent an email to the bishop and to this stake leader saying it wasn't worth it to ask because I know it's not something I'm capable of doing well right now. (see other posts by me about anxiety issues in my YW calling and in general). So I said no before even being asked. I felt ashamed because I've grown up with the " never say no" thing drummed into me my whole life.

.At this time in my life with the anxiety disorder and big gaps in my testimony, plus my inability to teach youth ( I've had to do this in Young Women's and it has been disastrous every time) I know this isn't something I could do well. It would be unfair to those teenagers when they are sacrificing sleep to come and be fed spiritually in the mornings. I'm just not in the right place to take on that responsibility right now. So I sighed in relief when the bishop and stake counselor told me not to worry about it and that they understood. 

Well, no apparently doesn't mean no to the stake president. I heard via my husband that the stake president had told the bishop to still try to convince me.   So I sent another email to the bishop today  and re emphasized my answer . This stake president should know by now about where I'm at because I spelled it all out in my message to the bishop. But he (the stake president) is a bit of a controlling individual. He has intimidated individuals and micromanaged some things in our ward. I'm frankly scared of him.  I am the YW leader over his daughter. I'm dreading any repercussions about this. 

Edited July 14, 2018 by carlimac

[Guest MormonGator]

@carlimac, I have great confidence that you can succeed in any calling/task that the church gives you.

That said, you know your own boundaries better than anyone else does. No means no, and you don't need to give any other explanation to anyone. I wouldn't worry about repercussions-he's not your boss and can't do anything to you. 

[CV75]

26 minutes ago, carlimac said:

I am so bugged right now! Earlier this week  I was asked to teach early morning seminary this year by a stake president who barely knows me. Actually the way it went down is that we were contacted by a high counselor who wanted to make a visit to extend an "opportunity" within the stake to us. (My husband is new in the bishopric so we knew it wasn't him they were going to call.) I figured it out since I knew what stake business he was over. That day I totally melted down. Had another anxiety attack and cried all afternoon.  I prayed about it and told the Lord I'm not in a good place to do this. And the clear answer I got that spoke peace to my mind was, " It's OK to say no. Just say no " So I sent an email to the bishop and to this stake leader saying it wasn't worth it to ask because I know it's not something I'm capable of doing well right now. (see other posts by me about anxiety issues in my YW calling and in general). So I said no before even being asked. I felt ashamed because I've grown up with the " never say no" thing drummed into me my whole life.

.At this time in my life with the anxiety disorder and big gaps in my testimony, plus my inability to teach youth ( I've had to do this in Young Women's and it has been disastrous every time) I know this isn't something I could do well. It would be unfair to those teenagers when they are sacrificing sleep to come and be fed spiritually in the mornings. I'm just not in the right place to take on that responsibility right now. So I sighed in relief when the bishop and stake counselor told me not to worry about it and that they understood. 

Well, no apparently doesn't mean no to the stake president. I heard via my husband that the stake president had told the bishop to still try to convince me.   So I sent another email to the bishop today  and re emphasized my answer . This stake president should know by now about where I'm at because I spelled it all out in my message to the bishop. But he (the stake president) is a bit of a controlling individual. He has intimidated individuals and micromanaged some things in our ward. I'm frankly scared of him.  I am the YW leader over his daughter. I'm dreading any repercussions about this. 

I don't think it's about competing inspiration but about inspired choosing. A leader may be inspired of the Lord to ask certain thing, and even press he issue, and a member may then be inspired to make a different choice the Lord wants for her. Sometimes this is the only way a leader might get to know the challenges a member is facing, or his own!

[NeuroTypical]

Honestly, in the four bishoprics I've been a part of, all four bishops have always done their absolute best to make sure the callings and the person fit.  They make their best decisions when they have all the facts.    I have never said no to a calling.  That said, I have had callings extended to me, and I've been honest and transparent about things, and I've had those callings taken back, and another calling extended in its place.

There are times when I've seen a bishop go against the facts as he sees them, because the spirit is telling him something else.  The rest of the time, they're happy to match callings with what works, and occasionally give a challenging calling to someone they figure can use it.

All that said, decades ago they asked me to teach Gospel principles.  I told them I was terrified of public speaking, and didn't know the material.  The calling stood.  So I sat there and wrestled with my own traumas and fears and anxieties, I practiced hard and often, lost sleep, was utterly exhausted by the experience, and things got better over time.  I grew tremendously and overcame many things, because they extended a calling to which I seriously did not want and was terrified to attempt.

[Vort]

2 hours ago, carlimac said:

At this time in my life with the anxiety disorder and big gaps in my testimony, plus my inability to teach youth ( I've had to do this in Young Women's and it has been disastrous every time) I know this isn't something I could do well.

Perhaps this is the Lord's way of giving you an opportunity to fill in your testimony gaps, learn to connect with the youth, and maybe even overcome your anxiety disorder to some extent.

What you do is up to you, of course. Follow the Spirit -- but do your best to make sure it's the Spirit and not some other voice from within. Even if the Lord did speak to your heart as you think he did, that does not mean the calling is not for you or that your inspiration may "trump" the stake president's. It seems possible to me that the Lord might have been telling you, in effect, "I'm giving you an opportunity to receive great blessings, but you are not required to accept this opportunity."

[askandanswer]

3 hours ago, carlimac said:

I prayed about it and told the Lord I'm not in a good place to do this.

I suggest a better approach might have been, instead of telling the Lord what He already knows, would have been to ask the Lord if He wants you to accept this calling. A different approach by you might have led to a different response from the Lord. 

3 hours ago, carlimac said:

because I know it's not something I'm capable of doing well right now. 

I think the Lord knows you better than you know yourself. 

3 hours ago, carlimac said:

I'm frankly scared of him.

If anybody is ever scared of their Stake President, it makes me wander if the Stake President is properly fulfilling his calling. Nobody should ever be scared of their church leaders. 

I guess you could always ask your husband for a blessing of guidance and counsel but my approach would be to ask God if I the calling is from Him and if He wants you to accept it, and to ask with faith and a sincere heart and a genuine desire to accept and act on whatever the answer is.

[Fether]

3 hours ago, carlimac said:

I am so bugged right now! Earlier this week  I was asked to teach early morning seminary this year by a stake president who barely knows me. Actually the way it went down is that we were contacted by a high counselor who wanted to make a visit to extend an "opportunity" within the stake to us. (My husband is new in the bishopric so we knew it wasn't him they were going to call.) I figured it out since I knew what stake business he was over. That day I totally melted down. Had another anxiety attack and cried all afternoon.  I prayed about it and told the Lord I'm not in a good place to do this. And the clear answer I got that spoke peace to my mind was, " It's OK to say no. Just say no " So I sent an email to the bishop and to this stake leader saying it wasn't worth it to ask because I know it's not something I'm capable of doing well right now. (see other posts by me about anxiety issues in my YW calling and in general). So I said no before even being asked. I felt ashamed because I've grown up with the " never say no" thing drummed into me my whole life.

.At this time in my life with the anxiety disorder and big gaps in my testimony, plus my inability to teach youth ( I've had to do this in Young Women's and it has been disastrous every time) I know this isn't something I could do well. It would be unfair to those teenagers when they are sacrificing sleep to come and be fed spiritually in the mornings. I'm just not in the right place to take on that responsibility right now. So I sighed in relief when the bishop and stake counselor told me not to worry about it and that they understood. 

Well, no apparently doesn't mean no to the stake president. I heard via my husband that the stake president had told the bishop to still try to convince me.   So I sent another email to the bishop today  and re emphasized my answer . This stake president should know by now about where I'm at because I spelled it all out in my message to the bishop. But he (the stake president) is a bit of a controlling individual. He has intimidated individuals and micromanaged some things in our ward. I'm frankly scared of him.  I am the YW leader over his daughter. I'm dreading any repercussions about this. 

I have 3 experiences:

1) 4 years ago I started my mission. I was terrified of talking to people on the street. Fast forward 4 years and I’m working full time in door to door sales. I love it!

2) While on my mission, I was serving in a city as a district leader and I had a missionary that was very shy and soft spoken. I wish I could tell him to not talk to people because of his fear, but I didn’t. Fast forward 2 months and he and his companion were speaking with more people than any other companionship in the mission. Fast forward another 4 months and he was transferred to the boonies and he talked to more people his first week there than The prior missionaries had in a month.

3) I’m absolutely terrified of water. I hate it so much. I went to lake Powell and it took me 2 days to even get in the water. Last month I was working in Vegas and we went to the Circus Circus water park and my friends convinced me to go down the slide... I finally agreed. Fast forward to today. I was walking in 100 degree weather for 3 hours and I was CRAVING to go down that water slide.

 

We cannot truly be free until we have overcome all our fear.

[estradling75]

I think you are asking the wrong question...  The Lord knew the nature of the man when he called your Stake President.  Trying to judge if you are "more worthy" then him (or anyone else) to receive revelation, is an exercise in heart ache and eventually apostasy.

Instead remember that the Lord works through small and simple things, and reveals line upon line.  Instead of trying to jump to the end by making an assumption about what the Lord is trying to do and judging your Stake President to be incompetent in calling you... Instead of that try figure out and even ask the Lord what he is attempting to accomplish.  Get on his page, not on your page, not on the Stake President's page, but the Lord's.

The Lord is clearly trying to accomplish something with you, so open up your mind and heart so he can show you what it is. Maybe this is what the Lord wants for you... or maybe it is a bank shot into something else.   I and no one else here can tell you what that might be but the Lord can.

 

Edited July 14, 2018 by estradling75

[Overwatch]

Hi Carli,

If you prayed and the Lord said you were okay to say no then don't worry about things. You already let your Bishop know and you reaffirmed your answer so the stake president knows where you stand. While the calling may have helped you it also may have been you are the most qualified but not necessarily the only one able to teach the class. That's why the Lord said it was fine to say no.

Don't over think it and don't let people scare you into doing something you don't want to do.

[carlimac]

4 hours ago, Vort said:

Perhaps this is the Lord's way of giving you an opportunity to fill in your testimony gaps, learn to connect with the youth, and maybe even overcome your anxiety disorder to some extent.

What you do is up to you, of course. Follow the Spirit -- but do your best to make sure it's the Spirit and not some other voice from within. Even if the Lord did speak to your heart as you think he did, that does not mean the calling is not for you or that your inspiration may "trump" the stake president's. It seems possible to me that the Lord might have been telling you, in effect, "I'm giving you an opportunity to receive great blessings, but you are not required to accept this opportunity."

This is the kind of thinking in the church that I feel can be destructive. I have been in Young Women's for almost a year. I have been involved with them, teaching them and guiding activities. i already know that I don't connect with the youth. I can see as I watch others interact with them naturally and easily that I don't posses the qualities that make that happen. there are others who have been given the gift of relating to teenagers. I'm not one of those people. Put me in the Primary and it's a totally different story. So to put this heavy and punitive  thing on people saying essentially, you are denying blessings for yourself by saying no to this calling is wrong and hurtful.  

My bishop on the other hand responded by saying, I'm sorry this is a difficult time for you. If you need my help I'm more than ready to give it. That's true compassion.

Edited July 15, 2018 by carlimac

[carlimac]

3 hours ago, estradling75 said:

I think you are asking the wrong question...  The Lord knew the nature of the man when he called your Stake President.  Trying to judge if you are "more worthy" then him (or anyone else) to receive revelation, is an exercise in heart ache and eventually apostasy.

Instead remember that the Lord works through small and simple things, and reveals line upon line.  Instead of trying to jump to the end by making an assumption about what the Lord is trying to do and judging your Stake President to be incompetent in calling you... Instead of that try figure out and even ask the Lord what he is attempting to accomplish.  Get on his page, not on your page, not on the Stake President's page, but the Lord's.

The Lord is clearly trying to accomplish something with you, so open up your mind and heart so he can show you what it is. Maybe this is what the Lord wants for you... or maybe it is a bank shot into something else.   I and no one else here can tell you what that might be but the Lord can.

 

I wasn't asking anything about anyone's worthiness to receive revelation. I'm only judging the stake president by his actions. And his actions have offended and troubled a lot of people in our stake. In this case, when he told the bishop to keep trying to convince me after I clearly laid out why in my present state I felt I wasn't the right person for the calling,  AND that I had received my own answer which  was opposite to his, I'm not sure he was really listening or that his was really inspiration after all. The bishop on the other hand told the stake president, no, I'm not going to ask her again. ( I heard from him today after I posted this. He has other people in mind he can recommend. Thankfully, end of that discussion! )  

Another way to ask my question: Is it appropriate for someone in leadership to keep asking someone after they have said no? 

[carlimac]

5 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

Honestly, in the four bishoprics I've been a part of, all four bishops have always done their absolute best to make sure the callings and the person fit.  They make their best decisions when they have all the facts.    I have never said no to a calling.  That said, I have had callings extended to me, and I've been honest and transparent about things, and I've had those callings taken back, and another calling extended in its place.

There are times when I've seen a bishop go against the facts as he sees them, because the spirit is telling him something else.  The rest of the time, they're happy to match callings with what works, and occasionally give a challenging calling to someone they figure can use it.

All that said, decades ago they asked me to teach Gospel principles.  I told them I was terrified of public speaking, and didn't know the material.  The calling stood.  So I sat there and wrestled with my own traumas and fears and anxieties, I practiced hard and often, lost sleep, was utterly exhausted by the experience, and things got better over time.  I grew tremendously and overcame many things, because they extended a calling to which I seriously did not want and was terrified to attempt.

This is less about fear of teaching ( I've been teaching in the church for over 30 years) than a knowledge that the kids need a different kind of personality and teacher 5 mornings a week at 6 AM for the entire school year. And I'm going through some personal things right now that would only get worse with this kind of constant pressure put on me. 

[NeuroTypical]

14 minutes ago, carlimac said:

This is less about fear of teaching ( I've been teaching in the church for over 30 years) than a knowledge that the kids need a different kind of personality and teacher 5 mornings a week at 6 AM for the entire school year. And I'm going through some personal things right now that would only get worse with this kind of constant pressure put on me. 

My story isn't about overcoming a fear of teaching.  It's about accepting a calling I didn't think I could do, had good evidence that I couldn't do it, shared my thoughts on the matter fully with my leader.  Then, when his answer didn't change, I threw myself fully into it because I believe the church is led by revelation, and I figured God knew more about it than I did.

I suppose that's the crux of it - do you believe your Stake president is being led by God or don't you?  Is he just some guy who doesn't want to take no for an answer, or is he acting on inspiration to keep pushing back?

Edited July 15, 2018 by NeuroTypical

[Fether]

31 minutes ago, carlimac said:

This is the kind of thinking in the church that I feel can be destructive. I have been in Young Women's for almost a year. I have been involved with them, teaching them and guiding activities. i already know that I don't connect with the youth. I can see as I watch others interact with them naturally and easily that I don't posses the qualities that make that happen. there are others who have been given the gift of relating to teenagers. I'm not one of those people. Put me in the Primary and it's a totally different story. So to put this heavy and punitive  thing on people saying essentially, you are denying blessings for yourself by saying no to this calling is wrong and hurtful.  

I feel like this is more destructive. You are preventing your self from growth. You can’t be walking around always telling yourself “I am not right for this job”. If you do then you will always be right.

[Fether]

@carlimac, there are 3 options here.

1) Deny the calling and any potential growth that comes with it

2) Acceptnthe calling out of spite and wake up every morning at 4:30 telling yourself “this sucks, I never should have done this”, teach half hearted lessons and leave the children destitute and starving for the gospel.

3) say “I can do this”, wake up every morning saying “UGGHH it’s so early” and go to class fully prepared because of preparation the night before (even though you had hardly in time for it because of all the work you have to do elsewhere). Probably have some lessons you think were terrible because of how hard everything is, probably cry a lot-a-bit. Fast forward 4 years and have students you taught come back to you and say “Remember that lesson (the one you thought was absolutely awful)? Ya, that changed my life and now I am going to serve a mission”.

[lostinwater]

So sorry you are dealing this.  My Mom had a similar situation with a calling in the YW.  i wish she had said no, but that was her situation, which i was well apprised with.  For her, it was very true that the hardest decision was also the worst one.  i lack that knowledge here, obviously.

But anyone who attempts to tell you what you should do, attempting to give a respectful heft to their suggestions with righteous indignation rather than explaining and listening and/or displaying a non-selfish interest in you outside of the point in question - i'd recommend salting their advice, quite heavily.

i really think most people, if they honestly ask themselves what their best self thinks they ought to do after fielding everyone's advice, will make a suggestion better for their lives than anyone else who thinks they know what that person ought to do.

[Sunday21]

@carlimac I stand behind you. I had similar issues with my stake president. He lied to me outright. He called me to be an advisor to the stake singles rep. I did not agree to this calling. In stake conference, he announced that I was the stake singles rep. He used this tactic on at least one other person that I know. He repeatedly lied to me on factual issues. Not all stake presidents are righteous. 

[estradling75]

13 hours ago, carlimac said:

I wasn't asking anything about anyone's worthiness to receive revelation. I'm only judging the stake president by his actions. And his actions have offended and troubled a lot of people in our stake. In this case, when he told the bishop to keep trying to convince me after I clearly laid out why in my present state I felt I wasn't the right person for the calling,  AND that I had received my own answer which  was opposite to his, I'm not sure he was really listening or that his was really inspiration after all. The bishop on the other hand told the stake president, no, I'm not going to ask her again. ( I heard from him today after I posted this. He has other people in mind he can recommend. Thankfully, end of that discussion! )  

Another way to ask my question: Is it appropriate for someone in leadership to keep asking someone after they have said no? 

Which shows you totally missed the point..

So lets slightly alter your new question and watch it answer itself

Is it appropriate for  GOD to keep asking someone after they have said no? 

I think the answer to your new question is perfectly clear... YES it is.  The problem you have (and we all have) is that we are all short sighted. We can't see the ends God is trying to push us toward... We only really see a flawed human tool in his hands.

We all are better off went we stop focusing on the flaws we see in another and focus on how God wants us to behave.  You have told the Stake President no.  He used his agency to continue. You are focused on trying to stop the Stake President from exercising his agency in a way you do not like. Even God will not do that (doubly so if the Stake President is being prompted by the Lord). Instead you need to focus on responding using your agency in a Christ-like manner.  So ask yourself how would Christ respond to your Stake President?  When you have that answer you have the Lord's will for you.

 

 

Edited July 15, 2018 by estradling75

[Vort]

13 hours ago, carlimac said:

So to put this heavy and punitive  thing on people saying essentially, you are denying blessings for yourself by saying no to this calling is wrong and hurtful.

You are mistaken in numerous ways.

[SilentOne]

19 hours ago, Vort said:

Perhaps this is the Lord's way of giving you an opportunity to fill in your testimony gaps, learn to connect with the youth, and maybe even overcome your anxiety disorder to some extent.

What you do is up to you, of course. Follow the Spirit -- but do your best to make sure it's the Spirit and not some other voice from within. Even if the Lord did speak to your heart as you think he did, that does not mean the calling is not for you or that your inspiration may "trump" the stake president's. It seems possible to me that the Lord might have been telling you, in effect, "I'm giving you an opportunity to receive great blessings, but you are not required to accept this opportunity."

1

Reemphasizing what I understood to be the major points. Which have a lot of similarity with

19 hours ago, askandanswer said:

I suggest a better approach might have been, instead of telling the Lord what He already knows, would have been to ask the Lord if He wants you to accept this calling. A different approach by you might have led to a different response from the Lord.

 

Because what I see being responded to is not even close to the same as what I got out of reading this.

And in my words: Inspiration can be difficult to interpret. Double check to make sure your understanding is correct and complete.

Edited July 15, 2018 by SilentOne

[Edspringer]

Please read and ponder:

2 Nephi 32:8-9

D&C 8:2-3

D&C 112:10

Mathew 7:7-11

[omegaseamaster75]

On 7/14/2018 at 11:04 AM, carlimac said:

Well, no apparently doesn't mean no to the stake president. I heard via my husband that the stake president had told the bishop to still try to convince me.   So I sent another email to the bishop today  and re emphasized my answer . This stake president should know by now about where I'm at because I spelled it all out in my message to the bishop. But he (the stake president) is a bit of a controlling individual. He has intimidated individuals and micromanaged some things in our ward. I'm frankly scared of him.  I am the YW leader over his daughter. I'm dreading any repercussions about this. 

You shouldn't be afraid of your leaders, your husband needs to get involved. I haven't read every response but if no one has mentioned it you need to tell him to make this go away for you.  Your husband in no uncertain terms needs to tell the Stake president that the answer is no and to find another candidate. 

[omegaseamaster75]

20 hours ago, Fether said:

I feel like this is more destructive. You are preventing your self from growth. You can’t be walking around always telling yourself “I am not right for this job”. If you do then you will always be right.

Did you net read the part where she said this:

On 7/14/2018 at 11:04 AM, carlimac said:

.At this time in my life with the anxiety disorder and big gaps in my testimony, plus my inability to teach youth ( I've had to do this in Young Women's and it has been disastrous every time) I know this isn't something I could do well. It would be unfair to those teenagers when they are sacrificing sleep to come and be fed spiritually in the mornings. I'm just not in the right place to take on that responsibility right now

 

19 hours ago, Fether said:

@carlimac, there are 3 options here.

1) Deny the calling and any potential growth that comes with it

2) Acceptnthe calling out of spite and wake up every morning at 4:30 telling yourself “this sucks, I never should have done this”, teach half hearted lessons and leave the children destitute and starving for the gospel.

3) say “I can do this”, wake up every morning saying “UGGHH it’s so early” and go to class fully prepared because of preparation the night before (even though you had hardly in time for it because of all the work you have to do elsewhere). Probably have some lessons you think were terrible because of how hard everything is, probably cry a lot-a-bit. Fast forward 4 years and have students you taught come back to you and say “Remember that lesson (the one you thought was absolutely awful)? Ya, that changed my life and now I am going to serve a mission”.

Sounds like option 1 until the OP is in a better place spiritually and mentally

No one should be browbeaten into accepting a calling.  Individual consideration and compassion need to come into play. Shaming them by saying that they are giving up blessing does not help either you don't know that they are giving up blessings how could you know?

[wenglund]

On 7/14/2018 at 12:04 PM, carlimac said:

I am so bugged right now! Earlier this week  I was asked to teach early morning seminary this year by a stake president who barely knows me. Actually the way it went down is that we were contacted by a high counselor who wanted to make a visit to extend an "opportunity" within the stake to us. (My husband is new in the bishopric so we knew it wasn't him they were going to call.) I figured it out since I knew what stake business he was over. That day I totally melted down. Had another anxiety attack and cried all afternoon.  I prayed about it and told the Lord I'm not in a good place to do this. And the clear answer I got that spoke peace to my mind was, " It's OK to say no. Just say no " So I sent an email to the bishop and to this stake leader saying it wasn't worth it to ask because I know it's not something I'm capable of doing well right now. (see other posts by me about anxiety issues in my YW calling and in general). So I said no before even being asked. I felt ashamed because I've grown up with the " never say no" thing drummed into me my whole life.

.At this time in my life with the anxiety disorder and big gaps in my testimony, plus my inability to teach youth ( I've had to do this in Young Women's and it has been disastrous every time) I know this isn't something I could do well. It would be unfair to those teenagers when they are sacrificing sleep to come and be fed spiritually in the mornings. I'm just not in the right place to take on that responsibility right now. So I sighed in relief when the bishop and stake counselor told me not to worry about it and that they understood. 

Well, no apparently doesn't mean no to the stake president. I heard via my husband that the stake president had told the bishop to still try to convince me.   So I sent another email to the bishop today  and re emphasized my answer . This stake president should know by now about where I'm at because I spelled it all out in my message to the bishop. But he (the stake president) is a bit of a controlling individual. He has intimidated individuals and micromanaged some things in our ward. I'm frankly scared of him.  I am the YW leader over his daughter. I'm dreading any repercussions about this. 

I am a big believer in free agency as well as not judging when I have too little information, and so I won't directly answer your OP question one way or another, trusting you will do what you feel best.. 

However, I sense that connecting with the youth is very important to you, if not critical.

I wonder about that since some of my most effective teachers during my childhood and youth were men and women with whom I didn't connect, but instead I typically struggled with and felt alienated from them.

Besides, what matters to me now that I look back, is that they cared enough about me to be there for me  even in spite of not connecting.   This is made all the more meaningful when I recollect how extraordinarily difficult  I and my fellow teens were at the time. It is amazing that anyone would agree to take on that daunting task. The fact that they did, speaks volumes to me now about their character and love and commitment.

That having been said, I wish all the best to you whatever you decide.

Thanks, -Wade Engl;und-

Edited July 15, 2018 by wenglund

[Fether]

33 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

Did you net read the part where she said this:

 

Sounds like option 1 until the OP is in a better place spiritually and mentally

No one should be browbeaten into accepting a calling.  Individual consideration and compassion need to come into play. Shaming them by saying that they are giving up blessing does not help either you don't know that they are giving up blessings how could you know?

I am well aware of the possibility of mental and emotional disabilities. But those are only exceptions. Every single thread on this forum dealing with “I don’t want to accept this calling because it is too hard” has ended in the conclusion of “oh, you have an emotional disability and are justified in not accepting the calling”.

I feel it has become the rule and no longer the exception to deny callings based off of “it seems too hard” and then we cry “depression and crippling anxiety!”

And I am not shaming anyone. You ARE giving up growth when you deny callings. I don’t need to be all knowing to understand callings help us grow and bless us.

I don’t know her state nor do you. Only she does. But this I do know. Callings are given to use to help us grow and to help others as we use our talents to help them progress towards Christ. We are doing a MAJOR diservice by rejecting callings on the basis of them being “too hard”. No one wins in that case.

now this is the rule, and I am not about to start spitting of exceptions. Next thing you know, the exception becomes the rule.