Will the church take me back?

[Tyme]

I was able to get sleep and turned away from God almost immediately. It's time for me to find him again. I've been having severe mental health issues and suicidal thoughts. I'm at my breaking point. I can't do it alone anymore. It's either I find God or I off myself. The brain works in magical ways. My brain and hopefully the spirit is turning me to God. I've decided to listen to the audible of the BOM since I don't have the concentration to read a book anymore. I want to be accepted by the Mormons, qualify for the blessings, get the priesthood and enter the Temple again. I'm taking heart in Elder Holland's talk about mental health and the BOM. I hope I can still feel the spirit like I was once able to.

[goor_de]

8 minutes ago, Tyme said:

I was able to get sleep and turned away from God almost immediately. It's time for me to find him again. I've been having severe mental health issues and suicidal thoughts. I'm at my breaking point. I can't do it alone anymore. It's either I find God or I off myself. The brain works in magical ways. My brain and hopefully the spirit is turning me to God. I've decided to listen to the audible of the BOM since I don't have the concentration to read a book anymore. I want to be accepted by the Mormons, qualify for the blessings, get the priesthood and enter the Temple again. I'm taking heart in Elder Holland's talk about mental health and the BOM. I hope I can still feel the spirit like I was once able to.

there is nothing to be broken.

Sometimes it is better to set small goals if you can not reach the big one

[Tyme]

God is good! Just seen that the church posted a video about suicide.

 

For anyone else struggling:

https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/choose-to-stay-new-video-hope-suicide-prevention?cid=HP_FR-21-9-2018_dPTH_fMLIBxLIDyL1-A

 

Elder Orson F. Whitney taught: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven” (quoted in Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 16).

Edited September 25, 2018 by Tyme
to add something

[Jane_Doe]

Christ always want to be there for you @Tyme!  I'm glad you're making progress on your struggles by reaching out to Him.  I too have been through the nightmare of clinical depression and suicidal stuff, so I feel you there.

[goor_de]

9 hours ago, Tyme said:

God is good! Just seen that the church posted a video about suicide.

 

For anyone else struggling:

https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/choose-to-stay-new-video-hope-suicide-prevention?cid=HP_FR-21-9-2018_dPTH_fMLIBxLIDyL1-A

 

Elder Orson F. Whitney taught: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven” (quoted in Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 16).

The doctrine of sha o li says conclusive

fight is the best teacher and
pain the greatest educator

Edited September 26, 2018 by goor_de

[goor_de]

9 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Christ always want to be there for you @Tyme! 

I think,
there are damned out of pre-existence,on the earth
for example, Cain and Judas

Preexistence should always be considered

[NightSG]

On 8/13/2018 at 5:26 PM, Jane_Doe said:

The first step: walking through the front door.

Considering that the front of many LDS meeting houses has no door, that might be a little tricky.  

[JohnsonJones]

On ‎8‎/‎13‎/‎2018 at 1:23 PM, Tyme said:

I'm just wondering if the church will allow me to regain membership status after resigning. I'm sure I have a pretty thick file with the Church Membership Committee. I want to get back to the Temple and receive revelation. I miss and love those things. After reading Revelations I have a longing desire to be marked as one of God's servant. The problem is that I have weak and wavering faith. It's like one min I love the church and the next I'm thinking about all the problems. In addition, I have trouble with the fact it's ran by man. Then again all churches are led by man. I'm also a Targeted Individual who is going through extreme torture -- sleep deprivation. I've came to the realization it is probably something spiritual. I don't think man is capable of what I have experienced at least I think. Ive always said I would rejoin the church when my daughters inevitable ask me to. It's not to that point, but I feel the time is right. What do you all think? Will they let me back again? I think they will I just don't know what they have in my file...

I think many have difficulties such as you experience.

For people in that situation, I think the important thing to realize is that the church and the gospel are not the same thing and are not necessary for each other.

A good way to understand it is that the church is a vessel.  It is something that is for man specifically.  It is constructed for man and led by man, but it is NOT the gospel.  In and of itself it has no power, utility, or ability.  As such, and as it is by man and for men, it has all their imperfections. 

On the otherhand, it is a vessel that is used to contain the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  It is the item which is used to spread that gospel, teach us about it, and impart the ordinances of the gospel.  The church is empty without the gospel, being only a construct.  The gospel will continue eternally with or without the church.

Hence, it is very possible to have difficulties and problems with the church itself because it's leaders are flawed.  They are not perfect.  A bishop is merely another member just like any other member, but given keys and authority to act in his position.  This does not make him infallible nor perfect.  He is still the flawed individual he was prior to being called.  This applies to EVRY MEMBER and leader in the Church.  We are not perfect beings yet, no matter what our calling is.

However, the Gospel itself is the word of the Lord and if we put our faith in him, rather than the arm of flesh, we can never fail.  We need to have faith and trust and belief in the Lord and his words.

I posted something similar to this (but it is a much longer message) here

We need to have a testimony of the gospel

The essence though is that you can have a testimony of the Book of Mormon and the gospel itself.  You need to have that testimony and that needs to be the foundation.  You do not need a testimony of the church itself being infallible.  If you have a testimony of the gospel you cannot falter, but if you base your testimony on the church and it's history, without a testimony of the gospel itself as many have, you may have difficulties.  Thus, even if you have problems with flaws among those in the church and what goes on, you can still have a testimony and faith in the gospel.  These are not exclusionary items.

[Tyme]

I still haen't gone to church. I'm planning to, though.

I miss the Temple so much. It was the most peaceful and stimulating experience of my life. I still remember when I walked out of the Temple. The world felt so dirty. I talked ill of the Temple about six years ago. It was just the easiest and unworldly thing to attack. Despite the fact that all along I knew it was one of the best experiences of my life. I even googled Temple stuff. It spoiled the most meaningful part for me. The part made me feel so special. I can't wait to re-enter if I should be granted that privilege.

There are so many things in my life I regret. I'm feeling a lot more mature now. I believe but still doubt I can be forgiven for all my iniquities. It just seems like I'm one of the worst people in the whole world. If I'm ever allowed to be baptized again it will feel so good. I plan on being open and honest about everything. That's unlike the first time I was baptized. I entered the church under false premises and it weighed me down spiritually.

During my time away from the church I attended mainstream Christian churches and a Unitarian Universalist church. The mainstream Christian churches were just lacking in knowledge. That was because I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds higher truths. It just feels like a more elevated and true church. I won't ever be able to commit myself to anything less now that I know the doctrine of Christ.

The Unitarian Universalist one was mainly just a political meeting. It's just I agree with their belief that all religions are true and can be beneficial to their practitioners. The belief that all religions are true is not that far off from what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe. It seems that the only difference is in wording. If I remember right, the doctrine of Christ teaches that all religions hold some truth. That essentially means all churches can be beneficial to their members.

Just out of curiosity, could someone with a finer understanding of the Doctrine of Christ explain the difference between the churches and UU's stance on all religions being/holding some truth?

[Barrett Maximus]

2 hours ago, Tyme said:

I still haen't gone to church. I'm planning to, though.

I miss the Temple so much. It was the most peaceful and stimulating experience of my life. I still remember when I walked out of the Temple. The world felt so dirty. I talked ill of the Temple about six years ago. It was just the easiest and unworldly thing to attack. Despite the fact that all along I knew it was one of the best experiences of my life. I even googled Temple stuff. It spoiled the most meaningful part for me. The part made me feel so special. I can't wait to re-enter if I should be granted that privilege.

There are so many things in my life I regret. I'm feeling a lot more mature now. I believe but still doubt I can be forgiven for all my iniquities. It just seems like I'm one of the worst people in the whole world. If I'm ever allowed to be baptized again it will feel so good. I plan on being open and honest about everything. That's unlike the first time I was baptized. I entered the church under false premises and it weighed me down spiritually.

During my time away from the church I attended mainstream Christian churches and a Unitarian Universalist church. The mainstream Christian churches were just lacking in knowledge. That was because I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds higher truths. It just feels like a more elevated and true church. I won't ever be able to commit myself to anything less now that I know the doctrine of Christ.

The Unitarian Universalist one was mainly just a political meeting. It's just I agree with their belief that all religions are true and can be beneficial to their practitioners. The belief that all religions are true is not that far off from what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe. It seems that the only difference is in wording. If I remember right, the doctrine of Christ teaches that all religions hold some truth. That essentially means all churches can be beneficial to their members.

Just out of curiosity, could someone with a finer understanding of the Doctrine of Christ explain the difference between the churches and UU's stance on all religions being/holding some truth?

There is nothing you have done that prevents you from partaking of the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ and being forgiven. Trust me, I've committed serious sins in my past and soon I will be going to the temple. Go back, speak with your bishop, it feels so great to be free of the burden of sin.

All religions have some truths, we have the fullness.

Edited October 30, 2018 by Barrett Maximus

[zil]

Come home, @Tyme - it'll be OK, even if it's a hard road, it'll be OK.

[Jane_Doe]

12 hours ago, Tyme said:

Just out of curiosity, could someone with a finer understanding of the Doctrine of Christ explain the difference between the churches and UU's stance on all religions being/holding some truth?

UU stance (the best I understand it): all religions hold some truth and are equally valid.

LDS stance: all religions hold some truth, but the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints holds the fullness of Truth and is lead directly by Christ Himself.